


Separated by a Memory

by StarbucksSue



Category: NCIS, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22953829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarbucksSue/pseuds/StarbucksSue
Summary: Rodney McKay has been waiting for John Sheppard to return from DC for two days but the man isn't answering his cellphone, much to Rodney's frustration. When one of the Marines on Atlantis suddenly sees a photo of their Military Commander on the USMC Twitter site Rodney has to travel from San Fransisco to DC, only to find that his long time lover has no idea who he is.
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 191
Collections: Romancing McShep 2020





	1. Prologue

Washington DC - 23 February 2012

NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs slammed down his phone and got to his feet, grabbing his gun and wallet from his drawer. He’d only arrived a few minutes previously and hadn’t even had time to drink his coffee, which always made him grumpy.

“Gear up, we’ve got a dead Marine in Rock Creek Park. McGee gas the truck, DiNozzo call Ducky.” He swept out from behind his desk not looking back at the two agents quickly following him. They were without their fourth team member, Ziva David, one of the victims of a nasty flu virus which had quickly spread through the agency.

“Seriously, you’d have thought Marines would know enough to stay away from Rock Creek Park by now wouldn’t you.” Tony DiNozzo, Senior Field Agent, muttered as they waited for the elevator.

“Makes a change from a dead Petty Officer.” Agent Tim McGee, the junior of the three agents replied as the elevator doors opened and they made their way down to the truck.

Fortunately, Rock Creek Park wasn’t too far, and the traffic was surprisingly light for the time of day. Metro PD were already on the scene and met them as the truck pulled off Ridge Road, close to Picnic Area 27 on the Western Ridge Trail.

“Special Agent Gibbs?” The young Metro cop looked a little apprehensive. Gibbs’ reputation preceded him around the DC area and beyond. “We called you as soon as we saw the uniform. No-one’s touched anything, we’ve just put the tape up around the scene and kept everyone out.”

“Who called it in?” Tony stepped closer to the officer; Gibbs always preferred him to play nice with the locals. “We’ll need to get their statement before they disappear.”

As Tony moved off Gibbs heard them introducing themselves before switching off and turning to his other agent. “McGee, laser and sketch, I’ll take the photos while DiNozzo’s interviewing the witness.”

Half an hour later Gibbs was kneeling by the body with the Medical Examiner, Donald ‘Ducky’ Mallard and his assistant Jimmy Palmer. He looked up at a sudden shout from his Senior Field Agent.

“Boss, we’ve got two more, another body and one still alive, McGee…”

“On it Tony.” The younger man replied, anticipating the order and pulling out his cell to call an ambulance while Gibbs and Ducky ran over to the nearby trees where DiNozzo’s shout had come from.

Two men lay amongst the shrubbery, neither of them in uniform, although the Marine hair cut on one was unmistakable. Gibbs quickly took photos while Ducky and Jimmy, who had quickly followed, knelt by the other, assessing his wounds and providing what first aid they could.

“Found this knife laying by the body.” Tony said quietly, as he dropped the knife into an evidence bag. “They’re both wearing gloves, so who knows whether one of them was the attacker or whether all three were attacked by someone else.”

“Well, they’ve both clearly got knife wounds. It looks like this young man hit his head hard on this rock, although whether he fell or was pushed, I couldn’t tell you. His knife wound hasn’t bled too badly, it doesn’t look deep, so I would say that it’s the head wound that’s more likely to be the cause of his unconsciousness. Our other young friend over yonder hasn’t been dead for more than an hour, I guess he was found by early morning joggers or dog walkers.”

“A couple of local joggers run the Western Ridge Trail at 07:00 every morning, they almost missed him in the dark but one of their torches reflected off the buttons on his uniform, so they stopped to check it out.” Tony explained. “They found him at around 07:20 but realized he was dead. They’re both medical students at Georgetown so knew it was too late.”

“Yes, in this weather his body temperature would have dropped very quickly.” Ducky agreed. “It would have been very obvious to them that there was nothing they could do for the poor boy. Ah, and here comes Agent McGee with the paramedics.”

Ducky and Jimmy backed off to let the paramedics assess their patient for transport to Bethesda.

“DiNozzo, go with him. He may be our suspect or there may be someone out to kill him and until we know for sure someone needs to stay with him. I’ll call in for a couple of guards to stay on the door. McGee and I will finish up here and I’ll meet you there later. We’ll need to get his statement as soon as he wakes up.”

“On it, Boss.” Tony handed over the evidence he’d collected and followed the paramedics to the ambulance.

******

Tony looked up as the door to the hospital room opened, grinning at the sight of Gibbs bearing pizza in one hand and coffees in the other. “Love you, Boss.” He said gratefully, opening the box and eagerly tucking into the first slice. “I had to do your trick and persuade the nurses to let me have coffee from the doctors lounge, the coffee in the vending machines wouldn’t keep a two-year-old awake, let alone a Marine!”

The corner of Gibbs’ mouth twitched up in a grin. “Any change?” He asked gruffly. He’d phoned Tony from the Navy Yard after lunch for an update, but that had been several hours ago. It was now 19:00 and their John Doe had been moved to a private room. The surgery to repair his abdominal wound hadn’t taken long as, although it was long, the knife wound was more superficial than deep. Following that, he’d had various scans on his head injury as he still hadn’t regained consciousness.

“No, they’re thinking he could be in a coma.” Tony let out a humorless chuckle. “You know all about that, Boss.”

Gibbs sighed. That had been a bad time for them all. He’d been unconscious for several days and when he’d woken up, he’d had amnesia and couldn’t remember the past fifteen years of his life. It had taken several months for everything to fall back into place. It wasn’t a time that either of them liked to remember.

“Let’s hope he hasn’t got anything in his past like I had.” Gibbs replied softly. “I wouldn’t wish that wakeup call on anyone.”

“So, what have you found so far.” Tony changed the subject quickly, not wanting to remember. “Any link between our two Marines, or a clue who our John Doe is?”

“Our two Marines are Corporal Brian Harris based at Quantico and Staff Sergeant Robert Steel, currently on detachment to the Pentagon.” Gibbs reeled off quietly, in deference to the unconscious man on the bed. “Harris and Steel have never been based at the same place at any time during their careers. Harris is from Maine and Steel is from Arizona, from McGee’s initial background checks they’ve never had any reason to be in the same place at the same time.”

“Steel was the one in uniform.” Tony frowned, remembering the insignia. “He was in DC officially as he worked at the Pentagon. Do we know why Harris was in town?”

“Nope, I’ve spoken to his CO briefly, he had a 48-hour pass and was expected back tomorrow morning. Balboa has Gates and Henry both off with flu, so he and Ortiz offered to go and find out more from his CO and interview anyone who knew him. Richardson and his team are doing the same at the Pentagon with Steel’s people. McGee’s emailed this guys’ photo to both CO’s but we’ve drawn a blank. He certainly doesn’t look like a Marine with that haircut but the boots and BDUs he was wearing are current military issue. That was good thinking getting his fingerprint before the paramedics arrived, he’s not appearing on any of the databases though and none of their prints are on the knife, although Abby’s got two partials which she’s running now.”

“So, what now.” Tony asked impatiently. “We just sit here and wait for him to wake up?”

“You sit there and wait for him to wake up. Although, I was hoping he would be awake by now.” Gibbs frowned in annoyance as he finished his coffee. “McGee suggested we post his photo on social media, Abby said if we could get clear photos of his face and eyes she could make a composite photo so that it looks like he’s awake.”

Tony raised his eyebrows with a grin. “She can do that, cool! I suppose if you lift his eyelids up, I’ll try and get some clear shots of his eyes and email them to Abby. Has she gone home yet?”

“No, she’s still processing evidence and helping McGee with some of the searches.” Gibbs replied. “They’re going to stay as long as they need to as they’re still going through the evidence and statements Balboa bought back. He and Ortiz were called out on another case. They haven’t even started going through the information Richardson sent over. This flu’s decimated the Navy Yard.” Gibbs finished with a glare at the man in the bed, as if the virus was his fault.

Tony grinned as he pulled out his phone and the two agents worked quickly to take several photos of their John Doe’s face and eyes. Tony then emailed the photos across before dialing Abby’s lab.

Gibbs studied the patient laying in the bed while Tony chatted softly to the Forensic Scientist. The shaggy dark hair did not look regulation military, but Gibbs gut told him that he was right, this man was military. While he hadn’t been wearing any insignia, Abby had confirmed that the pants, boots and plain black t-shirt he’d been wearing under the sweatshirt were official military issue. 

“Okay.” Tony said as he tossed his phone down on the table. “Abby and McGee are working on that now, they’ll text when it’s done. McGee’s followed the USMC twitter account and he’ll upload the photo there, hopefully, someone will recognize him.”

Tony snagged the last slice of pizza and sat down with his coffee. “This is frustrating, Boss, I feel like I should be doing something. You should’ve brought me a laptop so I could help go through Richardson’s stuff.”

“I want you to stay here.” Gibbs told him. “We don’t know whether he’s our killer or a victim. He might wake up with his memories or without remembering anything, but if he does remember I want you to question him straight away, before he has time to make up any excuses, or sign himself out.”

“And if he wakes up with amnesia, I guess we find out what he does remember and go from there.” Tony concluded. “We really need to be able to use the military database to ID live people, Gibbs, it would be so much easier.”

“Not gonna happen any time soon, we’ll just have to wait for him to wake. At best he’ll be able to tell us exactly what happened, worst case scenario will be if he doesn’t even remember who he is, then we’ll be back to square one unless someone comes forward and recognizes him.” Gibbs’ frustration was obvious, he hated the stalled period when they didn’t have any leads and were just waiting for searches or for evidence to be processed. “Ducky’s going to pop in soon to pick you up and take you back to the Navy Yard, you can take a shower and get your laptop and anything else you need, I’ll wait here until you get back. Then it’s just a waiting game.”

Tony’s phone dinged to signal receipt of a message and he picked it up quickly. 

“Here you go, Boss, McGee’s uploaded Abby’s composite of our John Doe to the USMC twitter account with a request to call NCIS if anyone recognizes him.” Tony held his cell out and Gibbs took it with a grunt. Abby had seamlessly manipulated the image to show their John Doe awake, albeit rather blank faced. The very brief tweet asked for help identifying a man with amnesia and gave the NCIS phone number to call.

The ringing of a cellphone broke the silence. “Gibbs.” He answered gruffly. “Yes, that’s good work Abs, hopefully, that’ll give us the result we want.”

He hung up and the two men settled in to wait for the arrival of the Medical Examiner.


	2. 22 February 2012

Atlantis - Somewhere in San Francisco Bay

Rodney McKay huffed in annoyance as he threw his cellphone down on the bed and paced across the room. It had been six days since John Sheppard had flown from San Francisco to Washington DC and his partner, and longtime lover, still hadn’t contacted him to confirm when he would be getting back.

Atlantis had been on earth for nearly three years, three long, frustrating years in Rodney’s estimation. Oh, it had been fun at first. Constant access to real shops, real food and real coffee had been a novelty. However, the novelty had soon worn off and soon Rodney’s love affair with Starbucks was about the only positive left, apart from the visits to Jeannie, he even surprised himself by admitting he missed the once strange food of the Pegasus Galaxy.

After the first year they had discovered that Atlantis had had enough of Earth as well. The City seemed to have more and more problems the longer they remained. Rodney and his team had worked exhaustively to find out why and the best brains in the world had finally boiled it down to the fact that she didn’t like the atmosphere on Earth. After the purity of her own Galaxy the effects of global warming and pollution were too much for the City who simply wasn’t designed for such an environment. Rodney had spluttered wordlessly when, having explained it all in long and technical terms to General Jack O’Neill, who had looked back at him blankly, John had turned around and told the General, quite simply, that Atlantis was allergic to Earth.

After several rounds of arguments, presentations and scientific papers the Expedition had finally been given the go ahead to return to the Pegasus Galaxy and John had been summoned to Washington for several days of meetings with Homeworld Security to finalize the details of the return.

Rodney kicked himself for not listening more closely to what John had told him. He vaguely remembered John telling him where the meetings were being held but, true to form, had been so busy running through a new idea to boost the water pressure in some of the outlying areas that he hadn’t taken it all in. Something he now regretted as it had been two days since he’d spoken to John and now, he wasn’t getting any answer from his cellphone.

Rodney sighed, grabbed his laptop and flask of coffee and made his way out to the South Pier, he had work to do.

******

Several hours later Rodney was beyond annoyed, as well as a little worried. John still hadn’t returned his calls, texts or emails and his cellphone was now simply giving out the message that it was switched off. Years of living in the Pegasus Galaxy without cellphones, and not requiring them whilst on Atlantis, meant that John was notoriously bad at remembering to charge his. Rodney was extra annoyed with himself for getting completely carried away on the South Pier, not realizing quite how late it was, which meant that he’d missed dinner by about four hours.

He stomped to the cafeteria, grabbed a sandwich from one of the chiller cabinets, some soup from the large urn that had been left out for anyone wanting something hot, filled his flask with coffee and, was somewhat mollified, to find that there were at least some fresh brownies left. Piling everything on a tray, he took it all back to the lab.


	3. 23 February 2012

“Rodney, Rodney, Rodney.” Rodney shook himself awake, staring sleepy eyed at the man calling his name and muttering Czech curses in his ear.

“I’m awake Radek, what time is it?” He rubbed his hands over his face and shook his head to try and clear it.

“Is eight o’clock and you look like you have been here all night.” Radek waved his arm, indicating the remains of Rodney’s midnight feast. “How did the South Pier work out?”

“South Pier, oh yes, it wasn’t quite as straightforward as I thought it would be but once I tweaked a few things, it seems to be working.” He frowned and pulled out his cellphone. It had been something of a novelty having a phone when they first arrived back on earth, but he’d been getting increasingly frustrated with his recently, although he did admit to himself that it could have something to do with Sheppard.

“Dammit, Sheppard still hasn’t returned any of my calls or messages.” He slammed the offending piece of technology down on the desk. “He said he was only going to be in DC for a maximum of six days and he didn’t call yesterday.” He glared at Radek as if it was his fault.

“Why don’t you contact O’Neill, he should know if John has to stay longer.”

“I might just do that, maybe breakfast first.” Rodney decided as his stomach rumbled. “Passing out due to low blood sugar won’t help.” He shoved the wrap from his sandwich into the bin and, grabbing his laptop and flask, made his way to his quarters for a shower.

It was almost 09:30 when Rodney finally made it to the cafeteria, loading his plate up with eggs, bacon, sausages and toast, along with a large mug of coffee. He was halfway through his breakfast when a group of Marines in the far corner suddenly got very excited and called Evan Lorne over just as he entered the cafeteria. Rodney didn’t pay much attention until Lorne came over to him and sat down, his cellphone in his hand.

‘McKay, I think you should see this.” Lorne thrust his phone in front of Rodney. Rodney’s eyes opened in horror, his mouth forming a perfect O of surprise.

“What the hell has Sheppard done now to get his ugly mug on Twitter?” Rodney sputtered. “No wonder the idiot hasn’t returned any of my calls or messages. Can’t he go anywhere without getting into trouble?”

Rodney picked up his phone and dialed the number shown on the screen. “NCIS, I need to speak to someone about the post on Twitter.” He demanded to the person who answered the phone. “Yes, yes, I will wait while you patch me through to Agent Gibbs.” “Lorne, I’m going to need a ride; do we have a ship in orbit at the moment? He hissed quietly to the man sitting next to him. I’m just going to grab some stuff.”

“Gibbs.” He interrupted the man trying to speak to him as he marched through the corridors back to his quarters, “The man you have is Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard, USAF, what the hell has he done?” He listened for a few minutes. “He what, how did he get injured? Well, yes, that’s Sheppard all over, he can’t seem to go anywhere without someone trying to kill him, he seems to attract people like that.” He stopped and listened again. “My name is Dr Rodney McKay, I work closely with Sheppard, he’s the head of the military contingent on our Expedition and I’m head of the scientists.” He let himself into his room and hit the button to put his phone on speaker while he grabbed some clothes and toiletries. 

“No look, why can’t you tell me anything else? Oh, very well, I’m on my way to DC now, I’ll call you back once I arrive.” He ended the call and grabbed his bag.

“Radek.” He called over the radio. “I’m going to DC. That idiot Sheppard has got himself into trouble again and ended up in hospital with another concussion and possible amnesia, they’re still investigating what’s happened as apparently, he was found with two dead Marines, so they’re keeping him under protection while they investigate. I’m leaving you in charge so try not to let the City break down before I get back.”

“Lorne.” He buzzed his radio again, “How’s my ride looking, apparently Sheppard’s at Bethesda.”

********

Rodney shook his head as he materialized in an empty cubicle in the restrooms at Union Station, trying to rid himself of the fuzzy feeling of being transported down from the George Hammond. Leaving the restrooms, he sidestepped carefully around a group of teenagers and strode towards the Starbucks concession, muttering about rude passengers and screaming children.

Armed with a large coffee and a couple of pastries, which he’d been assured had no citrus in them, Rodney made his way to the exit and pushed his way to the front of the taxi queue.

“Sorry emergency.” He dumped his bag on the floor and waved his arm in the air. “I need to get to Bethesda, medical emergency.” He slammed the door and turned his attention to the cab driver. “Well come on then, I was serious about the medical emergency, take me to Bethesda.”

The driver rolled his eyes at Rodney but pulled out as instructed. Rodney grabbed his cellphone, dialing the number for NCIS which he had fortunately, remembered to program into his phone before he left.

“Yes, I need to be patched through to Gibbs again.” He said impatiently. “It’s Dr McKay about John Sheppard. I spoke to him earlier.” Rodney closed his eyes as he sipped his coffee, enjoying the dark roast. He frowned as an unfamiliar voice came on the line. “You’re not Gibbs, who are you, I asked for Gibbs.” He listened to the explanation impatiently. “Look I don’t care who you are Agent Whatever, this is important. I’m on my way to Bethesda now and need to know where Sheppard is.” 

Rodney was somewhat mollified when he discovered that the agent was at the hospital with John and with a promise that one of the Marines guarding Sheppard would meet him at reception Rodney hung up satisfied.

******

Half an hour later the taxi pulled up to the main entrance of the hospital. Quickly paying the driver Rodney stumbled out, dumping his empty cup in the trash. He walked through the doors and looked around, seeing a young Marine standing to attention by the reception desk. Pulling his laptop bag further up his shoulder he walked over.

“Are you waiting for me? I’m Dr Rodney McKay, here for John Sheppard.” 

“Yes Sir. Corporal Johns Sir. Agent DiNozzo sent me down to escort you up to Mr Sheppard’s room.”

“He’s an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel, so that’s Colonel Sheppard to you.” Rodney snapped impatiently. “He’s the Commanding Officer of our Expedition, responsible for Air Force and Marine personnel, as well as being responsible for the protection of all the civilian scientists on the mission.”

“I’ll remember that, Sir.” Johns replied as he led the way into the elevator. Stepping off the elevator Rodney followed the Marine along the corridor until he stopped outside room being guarded by another Marine. “In here, Sir.” Johns opened the door and Rodney stepped in the room, getting his first look at his lover in a week.

Dropping his duffel and laptop bag on the floor by the door he made his way quickly over to the bed, barely noticing the tall figure standing in the far corner of the room.

“Sheppard? John?” He called out, patting John’s face gently. Getting no response, he looked up at the man who had just walked around to the opposite side of the bed. “You’re Agent…” Rodney shook his head, unable to remember the unfamiliar name. “Has he been drugged, how bad is he?” Rodney asked in concern.

“It’s DiNozzo. Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS, but you can call me Tony if it’s easier to remember.” He flipped out his ID and showed it to Rodney. “Colonel Sheppard hasn’t actually regained consciousness, yet.” Tony explained, “He has a knife wound but although it was long it wasn’t deep and didn’t slice through anything important. The main injury is the head wound, it looks like he hit his head when he either fell, or was pushed, there was a group of rocks close by with some of his blood on and the impact matches the shape of the rock. He’s had scans and been checked over thoroughly by the neurology team but, apart from a little swelling and bruising, nothing else is abnormal. It’s just a waiting game now. They did say it would help to talk to him, our Medical Examiner sat with him for a while last night and he can talk the hind legs of a donkey.” He finished with an easy grin.

Rodney frowned. “But the Twitter photo showed him conscious, his eyes were open.” He glared at the agent suspiciously.

“That was a little manipulation on the part of our Forensic Scientist.” Tony admitted. “We needed to show his full facial features to help identify him. Look, my Boss, Gibbs, is on his way over now, when he gets here, we can go over everything with you.”

“Right.” Rodney answered distractedly, staring at the pale face of the man in the bed. His stomach roiling with anxiety. “Is there anywhere to get a decent cup of coffee around here?”

Tony grinned. “Sure, I’ll ask one of the Marines to grab you one from the doctors’ lounge, it’s far better than the vending machine.” He stuck his head out of the door and had a quiet word with the men guarding the room.

While Tony spoke to the guards Rodney dropped into the chair by the bed, knowing that he had to keep it professional and not fuss over John the way he wanted to. “Honestly Sheppard, can’t you go anywhere without getting into trouble. Every time I let you out of my sight you end up kidnapped, drugged or unconscious. Seriously John you seem to find trouble wherever you go.” He balanced his laptop on the small table and pulled out some papers. “I suppose I might as well get some work done, if you realized how much Zelenka and I still have to do you wouldn’t have gone off getting yourself stuck in hospital.”

A few minutes later Rodney was deep in his work, muttering out loud to John as if he were awake and listening. Fortunately, the schematics he was working on were nothing highly confidential so even if anyone saw what he was doing there wouldn’t be any awkward questions. When his coffee arrived a few minutes later Rodney stopped to take a drink, his shoulders loosening as he realized that it was a pretty decent mug of coffee.

He glanced up at Tony. The NCIS agent had moved back to his corner by the window and was just watching him. “How long have you been here with him?” He asked, genuinely curious as to the answer.

“I came in with him yesterday and have pretty much been here ever since. Our ME spent some time with him yesterday and Gibbs sat with him for a few hours last night so I could head back to the Navy Yard, pick up my laptop and have a shower and change of clothes, but I’ve been here since around 23:00. We’ve been hoping he would wake up so he could give us a statement.”

Rodney nodded and turned back to his work. Tony didn’t seem to have anything further to say and Rodney didn’t think he’d get much more out of the man until Gibbs arrived. He knew he was being watched though, the agent was slouching deceptively in the corner, tapping away at his laptop, but Rodney was under no illusions that he wasn’t being closely observed.

******

Rodney had been working in almost silence for around half an hour when the door opened and an older, silver haired man, walked in. He looked up and frowned at the interruption before noticing the tray of drinks with the familiar Starbucks logo.

“Dr McKay, I’m Special Agent Gibbs.” He handed over one of the cups to Rodney and another to Tony, keeping one for himself and throwing the cardboard carrier in the bin. “I know you want to know what’s happened but before that I need to ask you a few questions.”

Gibbs sat in the chair Tony had pulled over while the younger agent perched himself sideways on the foot of the bed, his laptop open on the bed in front of him, ready to take notes.

“Look if you think I know anything about what happened here you’re mistaken.” Rodney began. “I haven’t even heard from Sheppard in over 48 hours. I’ve been trying to reach him but at first there was just no answer to my calls or texts and after that I just got the message that his phone was switched off.”

“Battery probably run down.” Tony commented quietly.

“Okay, let’s start from the beginning.” Gibbs replied. “When did Sheppard arrive in DC? After you identified him, we checked the airlines and he didn’t fly in on a civilian flight.”

“No, he didn’t.” Rodney rolled his eyes. “John Sheppard is a USAF pilot; he can fly just about anything with or without wings. If he can avoid civilian planes and use military transport instead, he will, especially if they let him fly it. He flew from Travis Air Force Base, San Francisco on 16 February, they had a plane they needed flown to Andrews, so he took the opportunity to get some flight time in.”

“Hang on.” Tony interrupted, looking up from where he was typing. “You only spoke to Gibbs the first time at around 10:00 this morning but were here just over three hours later. how did you travel from California to DC in less than four hours?”

“Did I say that I’d travelled from California.” Demanded Rodney in irritation. “We were in California at the time John left. I came by private transport from Colorado. General Jack O’Neill can confirm that if necessary, he’s in charge of the whole project.

The mission we’re on is top secret and classified at the highest level. John was due to attend meetings over several days here in DC. I spoke to him the evening he arrived and every evening until two days ago when he attended the last meeting. I expected to hear from him yesterday to confirm when he was returning, but when I tried calling it went straight to his mailbox and he didn’t answer my texts either. When I rang this morning, his phone was switched off. He must have turned up to all the meetings he was expected to, otherwise I would have heard from O’Neill by now. Really that’s all I can tell you.”

Gibbs nodded, his gut telling him the scientist was telling the truth. He glanced at Tony and saw from the imperceptible nod that the younger agent believed so to.

“Now can you tell me what happened?” Rodney pleaded, his anxiety increasing.

“Okay.” Gibbs agreed. “We were called out at 08:00 yesterday following a report of a dead Marine in Rock Creek Park. That’s north of DC, not too far from here.” He added for Rodney’s benefit. “We arrived at around 08:20 and started processing the scene. Around half an hour later, DiNozzo found the body of another Marine, along with Sheppard around thirty yards away in a small copse. One of the marines, Staff Sergeant Robert Steel, was in uniform and the other, Corporal Brian Harris wasn’t. They had both been attacked with a knife and had bled out. Sheppard was laying close to Harris. The murder weapon was on the scene and was found beside Sheppard’s body. Both Sheppard and Harris were wearing gloves and we weren’t able to pull any full prints from the knife, just some partials which haven’t turned up any results.” He paused to take a drink of his coffee.

“The first body was found by two joggers at around 07:20 and our Medical Examiner confirmed their times of death at around 07:00. Sheppard was lucky that his knife wound, unlike the two Marines, wasn’t as deep and didn’t nick any major arteries. He was bleeding slowly but because it was wasn’t deep, he didn’t lose enough blood to kill him.”

“Shit.” Rodney had gone very pale. “He has too many close calls.” He stared over at the man lying in the bed, grateful for small mercies.

“What we don’t know though, is whether Sheppard, Harris and Steel are all victims or whether one of them is the murderer. Or why they were all in Rock Creek Park at that hour of the morning in the first place.” Gibbs summed up.

“Yeah.” Tony butted in. “Strange time of day to be out, none of them were in running gear. Was Sheppard seeing anyone in DC? Having an affair? It’s a common cause of murder in the military, hubby or boyfriend comes home on leave and sees red after he finds wife or girlfriend with another man, argument turns nasty, maybe someone else steps in to try and calm it all down and boom!”

“John Sheppard would not have been interested in a woman and wouldn’t have been arguing with anyone over one. He wasn’t seeing anyone here, either.” Rodney retorted, standing up and sending the papers on his lap flying. “He certainly wouldn’t have killed anyone over one. If anything, he would have been the one trying to calm things down. He’s a good man, always putting his life on the line for others. On two occasions when he was stationed in Afghanistan, he undertook unsanctioned rescue missions to try and save members of his team.” Rodney broke off, seeing the feral grin spreading across DiNozzo’s face before paling as he realized what he’d said. He opened his mouth, frantically trying to think of a way to dig himself out of the situation.

“So, have you just outed your Colonel, Dr Mackay? Will he be happy knowing that you’ve shared this knowledge?” Tony wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Rodney and Rodney could feel his face flaming.

“Dr McKay.” Gibbs butted in quickly with a glare at his agent. “This could be pertinent to our investigation. Is Colonel Sheppard gay or bisexual and if so, is he currently in a relationship and how many people know? Despite the recent repeal of DADT there are still many people who are openly against gay and bisexual members of the armed forces.”

Rodney’s eyes flickered between the two agents. Gone was the teasing light from DiNozzo’s eyes and all he could see now was concern. He sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around himself as he stared down at the unconscious man in the bed.

“Okay, okay.” He let out a deep breath. “Yes, John is gay, although we’ve been stationed in war zones for almost the whole of the last eight years so our ‘options’” he made air quotes with his hands “have been somewhat limited. We’ve been in an exclusive relationship for most of the past seven years.” He stopped, staring at John again, his features softening. “A few of the people we work closely with know and my sister and her husband and John’s brother and his wife, but obviously even with the repeal of DADT it’s not common knowledge. John’s the Military Commander, in charge of several hundred Marine and Air Force personnel. Thanks to your ridiculous policy John’s spent so long hiding it that he still doesn’t feel comfortable sharing. Honestly do you know how long it took me to persuade him that it was okay to have a relationship with another man?” Rodney spat angrily. “John Sheppard is career military; he knew he was gay when he was a teenager but put it behind him when he joined up as he didn’t want to risk his dream of flying. Until we got together, he hadn’t been with another man since he was seventeen.” Rodney broke off and shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this, John will kill me when he finds out, he’s a very private person.” He deflated and looked around the room, as if suddenly remembering where he was. He sighed and bent down to pick up the papers he’d knocked on the floor.

“Dr McKay.’ DiNozzo started.

“Oh, please, call me Rodney. If we’re going to be discussing our sex life I think we should be on first name terms, don’t you?” Rodney muttered in exasperation, pleased when he saw a slight grin quirk on the face of the stern-faced agent. DiNozzo was opening laughing.

“Okay Rodney. Gibbs, is just Gibbs.” Tony grinned at him. “So.” Tony continued. “Do you know where Sheppard’s meetings were while he was in DC? We’ll need to find a way to track his movements and try and build up a picture of what happened in the Park.”

Rodney ran a hand over his head, thinking back to what John had told him.

“I probably didn’t pay as much attention as I could have done.” He admitted. “It’s not as if I was going to be anywhere near him to need to know. He always stays in contact by phone or text.” He stopped talking and started pacing the room again. “I think most of his meetings were either at the Pentagon or at Homeland Security, but I can find out from General O’Neill. He’ll have been in on all the meetings Sheppard was at.”

“Homeland Security isn’t far from Rock Creek Park.” Tony commented softly. “Do you know where Sheppard was staying?”

“He did mention that he might visit his brother, but he lives in Virginia and it’s quite a drive from DC, too far to commute for daily meetings. They didn’t speak to one another for years but have been mending their relationship over the past couple of years, so he tries to catch up with him whenever he’s in DC.”

“We’ll need speak to his brother and to General O’Neill.” Tony told him. “So, if you can give us their contact details that would be helpful.”

“What happened between Sheppard and his brother, does he know that Sheppard’s gay?” Gibbs looked at Rodney sharply.

“Yes, he does, we’ve both stayed with him a few times. The real issue was between John and his father.” Rodney sighed, staring at his empty coffee cup sadly. “John’s father was a successful businessman and a millionaire, he wanted John to follow him into the family business, but John always wanted to fly. They had a huge row, his father disinherited him, and as soon as he was old enough John left to join the Air Force. They never really spoke again and John’s only sibling, his brother Dave, took over the family business instead. John married a few years later but being out of the country on top secret missions for most of the time the marriage failed, although he’s still on speaking terms with his ex-wife Nancy, she remarried a few years back. John’s father died a few of years ago and John came home for the funeral, that’s when he told Dave that he was gay. Since then, John and Dave have been trying to reconnect and John always looks them up when he’s in DC. Dave’s married with a couple of rugrats and they live in the family home in Virginia.”

“What about John’s mother?” Tony asked quietly.

“She died when he was a kid, he doesn’t really talk about her much.” Rodney waved his hand dismissively. He stared down at his partner, wondering about the concerned look Gibbs gave Tony. “Why isn’t he waking up, he doesn’t usually stay unconscious this long unless they drug him. He hates being in hospital.”

“His neurologist was here this morning before he started his surgery. He said he would pop back again once he’d finished for the day so I’m pretty sure he’ll be back soon and can give an update.” Tony replied.

“Okay, that’ll do for now. If I have any further questions I’ll call. I just need those contact details for his brother and General O’Neill, and we’re done. DiNozzo will stay with you again tonight.” Gibbs thought for a moment. “Do you have contact details for his ex-wife as well, we’ll need to speak to her too.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Rodney replied, grabbing his phone and tearing a sheet from his notepad so he could write the details down for Gibbs. “I’ll call O’Neill and let him know what’s happened, otherwise you might have trouble getting through to him.”

“DiNozzo.” Gibbs called from the doorway. “Call me with an update when the neurologist has been round.” And without waiting for an answer, he was gone.

******

“I’m going to need to find somewhere private to ring O’Neill.” Rodney looked over to where Tony had moved the chair, laptop perched on the bed in front of him by John’s feet.

“Look, you stay here.” Tony replied, closing the laptop and standing. “I’ll wander along to the lounge for a coffee refill and then wait outside, give me a shout when you’re done. If the neurologist appears, I’m coming in though.”

“Oh.” Rodney looked surprised. “Thank you. From what Gibbs said I didn’t think you were allowed to leave the room.”

“I shouldn’t for long, but Gibbs would understand the need for coffee.” Tony explained with a grin. “While the Marines are here for John’s protection, in case someone is after him, he is technically an NCIS witness to the murders, although he could be our murderer, so he has to be accompanied by a member of the NCIS team. It would also be useful to be able to interview him as soon as he comes around. However, the doctors lounge is only two doors down, and I can still watch from outside.”

“But you don’t think he is your murderer.” Rodney asked with interest. “You don’t think so anyway, Gibbs doesn’t either does he?”

“No, from what you’ve told us about him, and what we’ve been able to find out through his military records, it would be completely out of character for him. But that’s one of the reasons we need to speak to O’Neill, and anyone else he interacted with while he was in DC, just to make sure something didn’t happen to trigger something violent in him. They did do a tox screen when he came in, but it came back clear, so he had no drugs in his system.” Tony replied. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

He turned and left the room, stopping to talk briefly to the guards outside, and disappeared from view.

Rodney picked up his cell and selected a speed dial. “O’Neill, it’s McKay. I’m currently sitting in a hospital room at Bethesda with an unconscious Sheppard who is, well I’m not too sure whether he’s in custody or under the protection of NCIS, or both. No, he was found in Rock Creek Park with a couple of dead Marines, they found the murder weapon lying beside John but, the two agents who were here don’t believe John did it, but until they can get a few more questions answered they’re not going to be able to make a decision one way or another.” He rolled his eyes at the expletives coming from the man on the other end of the line.

“Listen, Agent Gibbs of NCIS is going to be contacting you, he needs to track Sheppard’s movements and he needs to speak to everyone John interacted with. I have told him that our work is highly classified, but I don’t know whether that’s going to satisfy him, but I get the impression that the more open and helpful we are, the better this is going to be. No, I don’t need anything. I’m set up here at the hospital waiting to speak to Sheppard’s neurologist. They’re not going to let him leave until he regains consciousness or comes out of the coma, whichever it is but, after that, I think we’re going to have to do whatever NCIS want to clear this up. I don’t think that Gibbs is the sort of person you want to piss off. Oh, and by the way, just in case they ask, I got a lift from Atlantis to DC on the George Hammond, so I had to make an excuse that I was in Colorado and was flown by private transport as I got here in just over three hours. Okay, I’ll speak to you later.”

He ended the call and glanced over to the door. Tony was leaning half against the door joking with the Marines, so Rodney walked over and opened it, taking the cup that Tony held out to him.

“All sorted?” Tony asked with a grin.

“Huh, I could see O’Neill rolling his eyes down the phone.” Rodney replied. “Seriously, Sheppard has this reputation for finding trouble. On one short ride flying O’Neill from the McMurdo Base to one of the outposts he managed to get a test missile locked on him and he had to dodge it for several miles before landing the chopper in such a way that the missile, which had been launched accidentally, landed deep in a snowdrift instead of the chopper.”

“Cool.” Tony raised his eyebrows in astonishment’ “That must’ve taken some damn good flying.”

“O’Neill is going to contact everyone who’s been at the meetings over the past few days so Gibbs can interview them, and he’ll look into the two Marines in case they have had any involvement with John. As far as he’s concerned John was acting normally, nothing was out of sync with him and he had dinner with O’Neill and his partner after the last meeting. O’Neill knows John pretty well, mentored him for a while back when he was a Major and again when he was first promoted to Lt Colonel, I’m convinced that he would be able to pick up if John was worried or stressed about something, even if someone else couldn’t.”

“Does he know where John was staying?” Tony asked.

“Damn, I forgot to ask him that.” Rodney looked frustrated.

“No worries, Gibbs will ask him, he’ll want to search wherever he was staying too and run anything there through our forensics just to be on the safe side.”

“You said there was no ID, wallet, cellphone or anything found with John.” Rodney phrased it as a statement rather than a question. “So, either someone searched him and stole everything, or he knew something was suspicious, so he didn’t take anything with him. Damn him, why does he try and go it alone, seriously, O’Neill would have helped him or provided back up if there was something wrong.”

Tony chuckled. “Yeah, I know someone just like that.”

A soft tap on the door made them both look up.

“Good evening Agent DiNozzo.” The doctor smiled as he walked into the room. “I wasn’t expecting to find you still here.”

“Yeah, Gibbs has me on babysitting duty.” Tony chuckled. “Doc, this is Dr Rodney McKay, he’s a scientist and works with Sheppard, they’re friends too. Rodney this is Dr Robert Brownlow.”

The doctor held out his hand to Rodney. “I’m Colonel Sheppard’s neurologist. The nurses have been monitoring him throughout the day and it looks like there’s a bit more brain activity, so it looks like he’s getting closer to coming around.” He explained. 

“Hi.” Rodney shook his hand. “Sheppard’s had concussion before, but he’s never been out of it for this long, usually an hour or so is the most he’s been out unless they deliberately knock him out. I don’t understand why he hasn't come round.”

Dr Brownlow perched on the edge of the bed. “The human brain is a strange place, a blow to the head can just cause simple concussion if there’s no further trauma involved. However, if there is trauma additional to the concussion it can cause a coma. A coma is more complicated and can be exacerbated by a past incident or psychological trauma, whereby the person doesn’t want to return to consciousness or doesn’t think it’s safe to do so.” He explained. “We still have so much to learn about the human brain and the way it processes both physical and psychological trauma. What can help is talking to him. Familiar voices can often reach a person in a coma and reassure them that it’s a safe environment to return to consciousness.”

“Huh, that’s no problem, I’m used to talking. For a member of the USAF Sheppard has always been surprisingly interested in the scientific work I do, he’s actually almost as intelligent as I am.” Rodney said matter of factly. “Even when he’s bored or in bad mood, I can usually find something to pique his interest even when he’s been determined not to let himself be distracted.”

“Okay that’s good. Well, I’d like to repeat the scans I took this morning so I can compare the bruising and swelling, it won’t take very long. I take it you and the Marines need to accompany me again?” He looked over at Tony.

“We have to doc, I’m afraid. We still don’t know what happened to him, so we need to keep him in sight.”

Brownlow nodded. “Fair enough, I’ll just get some help with the bed and all the equipment and we’ll get it over and done with. Dr McKay, as soon as I’ve got the results of the scans, I’ll be back to give you a full update.”

He left the room and before long, was back with a couple of nurses. Rodney watched as the Marines guarding the door carefully checked their identification before allowing them to move John. Tony followed the entourage and Rodney was left on his own, wishing he had more coffee.

******

Rodney rummaged through his backpack looking for something to eat, wishing he’d thought to buy something for later before he left the station. It had been a long time since breakfast and the pastry he’d picked up at Starbucks hadn’t been much of a lunch and it was now well past dinner time.

It had been nearly an hour since they’d taken John for his scans and Rodney couldn’t help but worry. He suddenly realized that he knew nothing about these people who said they were protecting John and started wondering if John’s injuries were deliberate, a way to find out information about the Stargate Program. He thought of calling Jack O’Neill again to see if Gibbs had actually contacted him and, if so, what O’Neill thought of the situation.

He was roused from his mounting panic by voices outside heralding John’s return. They wheeled him into the room and quickly got his IVs and monitor relocated.

Dr Brownlow turned to Rodney with a smile. “On the surface it doesn’t look like there’s been much change but, as I said, there has certainly been an increase in his brain activity which may be due to the fact that the bruising and swelling has reduced significantly. Agent DiNozzo also told me that you’d been talking to him, so hearing a familiar voice may also have helped.”

“So, he’s coming round.” Rodney asked anxiously. “How much longer do you think it will be?”

“It’s still difficult to tell. He may wake up in the next hour or not until tomorrow. There really is no way of anticipating when someone will regain consciousness. Just keep talking to him, even touching him can help, it will give him a physical connection with you.” He smiled kindly at Rodney. “You can stay here with him tonight and I’ll be back in the morning. Good night gentleman.” He nodded to Tony and swept out of the room.

Rodney stepped closer to the bed, reaching out to stroke a hesitant hand over the bandage around John’s head.

“Dammit Sheppard, where are you. Please don’t tell me you’re back in Afghanistan.” He whispered softly. “Come back to me John, it’s time to come back. You’re safe here and we need to know what happened to you so we can get the bastards that did this.” He leaned over and kissed John softly on the lips, seemingly oblivious to the NCIS agent sitting in the corner of the room where he’d retreated after the doctor had left.

Rodney sighed as he hooked the chair closer to the bed with his foot. Taking John’s hand, he sat down, rubbing his fingers over the back of the hand he was holding between his own. He stared at the monitor, beeping steadily along with John’s heartbeat. He hated seeing John hooked up to any equipment. Fortunately, in this case it was just the monitor and the IV, at least he was breathing on his own. In Rodney’s opinion there was nothing worse than seeing John intubated and unable to breathe without mechanical intervention.

A sound in the corner made him jump and he looked up as Tony walked over to the bed and addressed him.

“I’m just going outside to ring Gibbs; I won’t be far away.” His eyes were full of sympathy as he looked at Rodney and Rodney frowned, not wanting it. Sympathy meant something was wrong and Rodney wasn’t quite at that point where he was ready to accept sympathy. “Look, I’ll grab coffee and order in some decent food, you must be starving.”

“That’s an understatement, breakfast was the last meal I ate, and I only grabbed a pastry before I arrived at the hospital. Since I’ve been here, I’ve only had a protein bar.” Rodney admitted. “I have low blood sugar as well so I should eat regularly. I’m also deathly allergic to citrus so whatever you get, please avoid anything with citrus. Oh, just in case I need it, there’s an epi-pen in the front pocket of my backpack.”

“That’s good to know. How does pizza sound?” Tony asked him. “There’s a nice little pizza place just around the corner from the hospital who are willing to deliver. They’re a little family run place who make everything to order so I can warn them about your allergies?”

“As long as it doesn’t have any fruit or fish, I’m good.” Rodney agreed. “To be honest I’m hungry enough to eat just about anything you put in front of me.”

Tony chuckled as he slipped out of the door and Rodney turned back to John. 

“You know he seems like a pretty good guy. He keeps plying me with the good coffee and he’s trying to help. He doesn’t think you’ve done anything wrong John, but they need you to wake up and tell them what happened. Why were you out in the Park? You weren’t dressed for jogging, or were you just jogging in your BDUs. Who were the Marines, were they ones you knew, did you just see them being attacked?” Rodney stood up and sat on the bed, trailing his fingers softly across John’s face. “Come back John, we need you, I need you. Seriously Sheppard, I can’t do this without you.” He bent over and pressed his cheek to John’s chest, closing his eyes and just letting the sound of John’s quiet, regular breathing calm his frazzled nerves.

******

Rodney signed at the soft tap at the door. Since arriving at the hospital he’d barely had five minutes alone with John. He was worried and exhausted and just wanted to be able to curl up with John and sleep, but that luxury wasn’t currently anywhere on the cards. He sat up as Tony entered the room, grateful that at least John’s babysitter was someone who appreciated the need for a regular caffeine fix. As Tony came over to him, he realized that one of the drinks was hot chocolate.

“No coffee?” He questioned in surprise, taking the coffee from Tony.

“Nah, there’s a limit to how much coffee I can drink in a day, even my ‘frou frou’ coffees as Gibbs calls them. But especially if I’m drinking it black.” At Rodney’s questioning look he expanded. “I prefer a hazelnut latte, preferably with cream. Gibbs, however, would mainline black coffee with an extra shot 24/7 if he could. I’m guessing you’re the same.”

“I can’t function without a regular supply of coffee.” Rodney admitted. “Even though John laughs and me and tells me to cut down he’s still my enabler as he brings me coffee to the lab whenever he can.”

“Can I ask a question, just to clarify something.” Tony turned his chair around and sat on it backwards, leaning his arms on the back. “We’ve looked at John’s service record, there’s a lot that’s blacked out because his various black ops missions and due to the classified nature of your work, but we’re used to that and will work around it where we can, unless it interferes with our investigation. But I am curious about something. You said before that you’re the head of a science contingent on this project and that John is head of the military contingent, but what kind of environment are you working in, do you have to work in dangerous environments, like war zones or is it that the work you’re doing is so top secret that you need protection.”

Rodney stopped and thought for a moment, considering what to say. “Some of what we are doing involves new technologies that have to be protected but the main reason for the military presence is that we do have to work in dangerous locations. For example, we’ve lost scientists to the enemy so even some civilians are trained to carry, and use effectively, various types of guns. Me included.”

“You’re trained to use firearms?” Tony asked him in surprise. 

“Yes, Beretta 92FS handgun and FN P90 submachine.” Rodney replied. “Not quite as good with the P90, but I’m adequate with the Beretta.”

“That’s useful information to know.” Tony remarked. “If you know how to handle a firearm and have an idea about defending yourself it all helps in assessing adequate protection.” He turned at the sudden tap on the door. “Ah, food’s arrived.” He stalked over to the door and took the pizza from the Marine at the door, stopping to check in with the new arrivals as the shift changed for the night.

Rodney’s stomach grumbled in anticipation of food. “That pizza smells like the best thing on earth.” He commented as Tony placed the boxes down on the table.

“I ordered you the meat feast, you did say you were hungry.” Tony grinned. 

The two men had polished off most of both pizza’s when Tony’s phone rang.

“DiNozzo.” Tony answered quickly, listening for a few minutes. “Thanks Boss, we’re okay, I ordered pizzas from Mario’s, you know that they say familiar smells can bring someone round and what’s more familiar than pizza.” He broke off again and Rodney could hear the tinny voice of Gibbs in the background. “Okay, speak to you later.” 

Tony threw his phone down on the bed and went back to his dinner. “Gibbs had a meeting with O’Neill, and they’ve interviewed all the meeting attendees. They’re re-interviewing Steel’s colleagues and cross-checking everyone in O’Neill’s office to see if there’s been any suspicious interaction between the two offices, just in case.”

“So, do you just have three in your team?” Rodney asked, suddenly finding himself curious. “It must take ages having to interview people, especially if you have to travel. Wasn’t the other marine from Quantico, that’s miles away.”

“Travel is all part of the job.” Tony explained. “We even have to go overseas if the leads take us there. Although there’s usually four of us on the team, but one’s off with flu. There’s a lot of it going around at the Navy Yard at the moment, several teams are working at half strength. We’re the Major Case Response Team, Gibbs is the Supervisory Senior Special Agent, I’m his Senior Field Agent, Tim McGee is our Junior Field Agent and Ziva is the Probationary Agent. She’s actually been on the team in a liaison position for a few years but recently joined us officially so she’s back to being a Probie.”

Tony stood and collected up the empty boxes, taking them out to put in the trash in the doctors’ lounge. “Do you want a refill.” He indicated to Rodney’s mug and he handed it over gratefully.

Rodney got up to use the facilities in the adjoining bathroom, washing his hands and splashing some cold water over his face. Tony was back with his coffee by the time he made his way back out into the room.

Rodney was surprised to see that it was almost 21:00. It had been dark outside for several hours and the lights in the room had been kept dimmed in case John opened his eyes. Tony had moved his chair back and was now sitting slouched down by the foot of the bed on the same side as Rodney, away from all the machinery on the opposite side. He had kicked his shoes off and was resting his feet on the corner of the bed. The laptop was resting on his thighs, but his eyes were on Sheppard.

Rodney looked over at John and then back at Tony. “What?” He asked, feeling a fluttering of panic. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Not at all. I thought I saw his eyes moving as if he was trying to open them.” He put the laptop down and swung his legs to the floor, pushing himself to his feet in one fluid motion. “Try talking to him again, it might help pull him back.”

“You sound like you have experience of this.” Rodney commented. Perching on the edge of the bed and staring down at John.

“Yeah, more than once, it’s something of a hazard in our field.” His face fell and, looked at Rodney, his face serious. “Gibbs was caught in a blast at close range a few years ago, he was unconscious and in a coma for several days. Much like Sheppard, they couldn’t find any reason as to why he wasn’t coming out of it. He wasn’t reacting to any of us.” He bit his lip and Rodney could see this wasn’t something he found easy to talk about. “In the end they asked his former partner, who retired about ten years previously, to come and see if he had any luck. Eventually, Gibbs came round but he couldn’t remember the past 15 years of his life.” Tony stood and walked over to the window, staring out into the dark night. “You see, Gibbs had a wife and eight year old daughter. They witnessed a crime committed by a drugs cartel and were in protective custody, but they only had one agent looking after them and while he was driving them, they were shot off the road and killed. Gibbs was out in the Gulf at the time and and was caught in a blast and ended up in a coma.” Tony fell quiet but Rodney could see where the story was going.

“So, when he woke up from the latest coma, he thought he was waking up from the previous one fifteen years ago and believed that his wife and daughter had just been killed.” Rodney finished softly. “Shit, that’s awful. Bad enough to have to go through something like that once without having to re-live it.” He was thoughtful for a moment. “I wonder if that’s where John is. One of his unsanctioned missions was to try and rescue one of his best friends in Afghanistan. His chopper had gone down in the middle of enemy territory and John flew back in to try and extract him. They both ended up caught in enemy fire and Holland died in John’s arms. He’s had flashbacks and nightmares about it every now and then.”

Rodney stroked John’s face again. “Come on Sheppard, it’s time to wake up and get your lazy ass out of bed. It’s freezing here in DC and I really want to get back to somewhere warmer.” Rodney picked up John’s hand again and laced it with his own. “It really is okay John, you’re safe here in hospital in DC…”

“Maryland actually, to be accurate.” Tony piped up.

“Semantics.” Rodney countered, with a wave of his arm. “Okay Sheppard, so you’re safe here in hospital in Maryland and we need you to wake up as we don’t have a clue what happened to you and we really, really, need to know.”

The heart monitor speed up slightly and John’s eyes fluttered just long enough for Rodney to see a flash of hazel and then shut again as John took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his body relaxing into the bed. Rodney looked up at Tony, who had crossed the room and was now beside him.

“That’s promising. I know it didn’t seem like much but it’s a start. That should keep happening regularly and he’ll be able to keep his eyes open longer each time. Just keep talking and touching him, make sure he doesn’t sink too deep again.” Tony had another thought. “We really should be careful what we talk about too, as he may be able to hear what we’re saying but not take it in context. I did that once when I had concussion, Gibbs and Ducky, our Medical Examiner, were both sitting at my bedside discussing the autopsy of a victim in one of our cases. It was just totally surreal; I was already pretty loopy on meds, some drugs have that effect on me, and as I was coming round I was convinced that they were cutting me open and discussing me while I was still alive.” He shuddered at the memory as he sat back down and swung his legs back up on the bed.

‘Oh, that would totally freak me out.” Rodney squeezed his eyes shut at the thought. “It’s bad enough being constantly treated like a pincushion with all the vaccinations and blood drawings but thinking you were being cut open? No, no, no.”

Rodney sat down again, his hand still laced with John’s and started talking quietly, reminiscing about their last visit to Jeannie, at Christmas, easily carrying on his monologue to his sleeping partner.


	4. 24 February 2012

Throughout the night John made several more attempts to wake up, although not enough to fully regain consciousness or converse with Rodney. Rodney and Tony both dozed on and off, coming awake immediately with any change in the heart monitor. Nurses came in and checked John every time there was a change in his readings, pleased with the results.

Finally, at around 06:00 Tony used the facilities and wandered out in search of coffee. Upon his return Rodney stretched and looked over at him. “What do you think will happen to us when John wakes up, will we be allowed to go home?”

Tony sat back down after handing over his coffee. “As long as there are no complications with John, they’ll probably release him fairly quickly. However, as our investigation isn’t over, we’ll need you to stay local, we may even need to keep you in protective custody if we still haven’t found the reason for the attack. We have various options for safe houses though. You’ll have a little more privacy than you’ve had here.” Tony grinned.

“He’s waking again.” Rodney noticed. “Hey, Sheppard. Are you going to join us this time? Come on I really would like to see your eyes for more than a few seconds at a time.” He wafted his mug under John’s nose. “Come on John, the coffee here isn’t that bad, not that they’ll probably let you have any for a while, but it would really be nice to be able to talk to you while I’m drinking mine.”

The hazel eyes fluttered open and he stared in Rodney’s general direction. Sheppard’s heart sped up a little and a frown appeared on his face. His eyes blinked quickly, trying to focus.

“That’s it John, focus on me, keep your eyes open.” Rodney took his hand again and patted it gently. “That’s it Sheppard, you’re in hospital in Maryland, you have a head injury and a knife wound but they’re both healing well. Are you in pain, do you need more pain meds?”

John looked away, his eyes wandering unfocussed around the room and landed on Tony. The frown was still on his face and he pulled his hand away from Rodney, mouth opening but no sound came out. “John, it’s Rodney. Don’t you recognize me?”

The door opened and a nurse hurried into the room. “I’ve paged his doctor, it looks like he might be really waking up now, how have his reactions been so far?” She turned to her patient. “Hi Colonel Sheppard, it’s good to see you awake can you hear me?” John stared at her for a moment, before closing his eyes again and ignoring them all.

Rodney looked at her in despair, hurt clear all over his face, but he didn’t respond so Tony stepped in.

“He hasn’t said anything but from the way he was looking at Rodney and around the room I’m guessing he doesn’t recognize him or know why he’s here.” He replied softly, glancing at Rodney with his eyes full of sympathy.

“Okay, that’s not unusual.” The nurse replied. “Dr Brownlow has just come on duty so he should be here shortly. Just give Colonel Sheppard some space for the time being, let him remember things in his own time for now.” She finished checking the IVs and left the room.

Rodney slumped back down in his chair, dropping his face into his hands, he hadn’t heard Tony move but he felt a strong hand squeeze his shoulder.

“Give him time, Rodney, it’s early days yet and he’s only just woken up, he needs time to get his bearings.”

“If he doesn’t remember who he is how is he going to believe me when I tell him, I don’t even have his ID to show him or anything.”

“Gibbs picked up all his stuff from his hotel, he was staying at the Days Inn on Connecticut Avenue near Rock Creek Park. Sorry I did mean to tell you. Knowing Gibbs, he’ll stop by this morning and bring John’s stuff if our forensics have finished with them.” Tony replied somberly.

They were still in the same position a few minutes later when Dr Brownlow entered the room. “Good morning, gentleman.” He began, walking over to his patient. ‘Now, I understand he’s been in and out of consciousness for most of the night, but this time he actually showed an interest in his surroundings, although he didn’t speak. Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Tony replied. “He stared vaguely at Rodney without any recognition, looked around the room frowning. Opened his mouth as if he was going to say anything but once the nurse spoke to him, he just closed his eyes and checked out again.”

“Okay, let’s see.” He looked over the notes before turning back to his patient. “Colonel Sheppard can you open your eyes for me?” He tapped John’s hand to get his attention. “Come on, Colonel, it’s time to wake up now. That’s it, if you open your eyes we can sit you up a little and give you some water, your mouth must be feeling pretty dry by now.” He kept on encouraging John and eventually saw a sliver of hazel showing between the eyelids.

Moving round the bed, he picked up the controls and raised the head a little more, before picking up the cup of water he’d brought in with him. He held the cup up to John’s face. “See, I’ve got some water here, blink once if you’d like some.” The eyes blinked once slowly. “Okay, here you go.” He tapped the straw to John’s lips and all three were relieved to see John open his mouth and take in the straw, sipping the water slowly.

“That’s good, now you’re in hospital at Bethesda but we don’t know what happened to you, can you talk to me, tell me about yourself and how you were injured.”

“Don’t…” He croaked, stopping and clearing his throat, indicating for more water. He took a drink and tried again. “John Sheppard, USAF, don’t remember what happened. Head and side hurt.”

Brownlow looked over at Rodney, hearing the muffled sounds of distress. Tony was still standing with him, a grim look on his face.

“You were in Washington DC and were found injured in Rock Creek Park, what can you remember from before that, what are your last clear memories?”

“What was I doing in DC?” Sheppard asked, puzzled. “I don’t know why I would have been in DC.”

“So, what’s the last thing you remember?” Brownlow prompted.

“I was in Afghanistan.” John said softly. “Mission was a FUBAR, some of my men were killed.” He stopped and frowned. “But that’s not recent is it. How do I know it’s not recent when I don’t remember what happened after that.”

“What’s your rank, Sheppard.” Rodney asked suddenly. Part of him was relieved, if Sheppard didn’t remember anything since Afghanistan, he didn’t remember Atlantis and that would avoid some awkward questions.

John frowned staring at him. “Do I know you?” He looked from Rodney to Tony, clearly puzzled. 

“You and I work together, I’m a scientist, part of a team which you and your team protect. Tony is an NCIS agent. Now answer the question Sheppard, what’s your rank?”

I want to say Major, that was my rank in Afghanistan, but for some reason I’m thinking Lieutenant Colonel, but I have no clue why.” He shook his head in annoyance and then regretted the movement. “What are my injuries anyway, doc?”

“You have an abdominal knife wound; you were lucky that it wasn’t deep and didn’t hit any major organs. You have a few bruises indicative of a struggle and you either fell, or were pushed, and hit your head. You’ve been unconscious for over 24 hours.” He looked over at Tony. “Agent DiNozzo, I’ll let you fill him in.”

“Okay. I’m Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS. I’m sure you’ll have come across us at some point in your career but, we’re the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. We were called out yesterday morning when a couple of joggers found the body of a Marine in Rock Creek Park. As we were searching the area for evidence, we discovered the body of a second Marine in a wooded area. You were laying near him, along with the knife. Both Marines were knifed and bled out. We were able to identify the Marines but had trouble IDing you as you had nothing on you. We later found that you’d left your ID and wallet at your hotel. Our ME confirmed the time of death for the two Marines was around 07:00.” Tony stopped and took a deep breath. “We haven’t found out a motive for the killings, or any reason as to why you were all in Rock Creek Park at 07:00 either and were hoping that you’d be able to tell us more when you woke up. One of the Marines was in uniform, you were wearing black BDUs and a sweatshirt and the other was in jeans and a sweatshirt, so none of you were dressed as if you were jogging.”

John was silent for a few minutes, taking it all in. “So, the murder weapon was found at the scene, two dead Marines and me. So, are you waiting to arrest me for murderer?” He asked matter of factly, clearly following where Tony’s trail of evidence was leading.

“Possibly.” Tony replied. “But we don’t think so, unless you were attacked first. There were no drugs in your system and looking through your service record you’ve gone out of your way to save lives, often at the detriment to your own safety, so it would be totally against what we know of you for you to kill in cold blood, unless of course you were hypnotized or coerced, so I’m afraid it does mean we have to keep you under guard. It serves two purposes though, as it also means you have our protection if there is someone out to kill you.”

John shook his head; his eyes were drooping, and it was clear he was exhausted already. “Damn.” He muttered. “It sounds like I’m missing a whole chunk of stuff.” His eyes closed and his breathing evening out into sleep.

Rodney dropped his face into his hands, scrubbing them over his head before looking up at the neurologist. “So, where do we go from here? Does he have to stay in hospital until he regains his memories, or can he leave hospital once you’re satisfied with his physical recovery?”

“We’ll be able to move him to a safe house and arrange medical attention for his injuries.” Tony assured the neurologist.

“Well, from a physical point of view I’d like to keep him in for a few more hours, but otherwise there’s no reason why he can’t leave hospital if he wants to. As for his memory, but it may just be a matter of time. He could recall all of his memories within the next few days, or it could take weeks or months.” He looked at Rodney with some sympathy. “He may never remember some things or will only remember if something happens in the future which triggers the memory.”

“So, what should I do now?” Rodney asked anxiously. “Do I tell him about himself or should I leave him to remember on his own.”

“Work with what he knows at first. Ask him questions from his past, his childhood if possible, and work forward, see if he can talk you through his life without any glaring gaps, question him as you go along to see what he can recall clearly. Write down any gaps that you think he has and see how recent he is able to recall.” The neurologist explained. “Hopefully, working through his life logically will trigger the next set of memories but if he does have large gaps, or comes to a point where he can’t remember up to date, it would help if you can find someone he was with at that point in his life and they may be able to either trigger his memories or help him work through them. You may just have to accept that there are some things he may never remember on his own.”

“I have some experience of this doc.” Tony offered. “Gibbs, my Boss, was in an explosion with similar results, he didn’t remember the last 15 years of his life and even several months later, there were still gaps in his memory we had to work with or around.”

“That experience will be helpful, both your knowledge to support Dr McKay and if Agent Gibbs is willing to work with Colonel Sheppard, it would help him to have someone who has been where he is. Additionally, working with a psychologist would also be useful.”

“Huh, Sheppard will usually do anything to avoid seeing a psychologist.” Rodney rolled his eyes. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to offer though.”

“We’ll be able to arrange that if Sheppard wants it.” Tony confirmed.

“Okay then gentlemen. I have clinic this morning and am in surgery this afternoon. I’ll pop in when I can and see how the Colonel is doing. If you think of any questions, write them down so I can answer them next time.”

With that he left the room. Rodney’s shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them, Tony had moved away to the window and was pulling out his cellphone. Before he could hit speed dial the door opened and Gibbs walked in, tray of Starbucks cups and several paper bags in his hand.

“Thought you might be ready for some breakfast.” Gibbs put everything down on the table, pushing Rodney’s papers to one side. “Any improvement?”

“I was just about to call you.” Tony replied. “Sheppard’s been slipping in and out all night but finally woke briefly about an hour ago. The neurologist came by and woke him up again and asked him some questions. He doesn’t remember anything about the attack or why he was in DC.” Tony sighed, walking over and taking the drink Gibbs handed him and reaching in one of the bags for a breakfast burrito. “Thanks, Boss.”

“He remembers being in Afghanistan, but although he thought his rank was Major, he somehow knew he was a Lt Colonel, although he doesn’t remember why.” Rodney continued the update while Tony munched on his burrito. “He doesn’t recognize me and doesn’t seem to remember anything about our work.” Rodney helped himself to one of the pastries and stopped looking suspiciously at Gibbs. “There’s nothing with citrus in here is there?”

“Nope, Tony warned us. He sent a text to McGee yesterday just in case either of us brought in food.”

“Doc wants to keep Sheppard here a few more hours until he’s come around completely, after that he’ll be free to go. I’ve told him we can provide medical attention for the injuries and a psychologist in case he wants one.” Tony finished the update. “So, what else have you found out?”

Gibbs sat down in Tony’s vacated chair while Tony perched on the edge of the bed again and all three men tucked into the breakfast spread of breakfast burritos, cream cheese and salmon bagels and a selection of pastries.

“McGee and Abby have been pulling surveillance cameras. Sheppard had meetings from 10:00 to 18:00 on 22 February, then a one to one meeting with O’Neill, followed by a meal with O’Neill and his partner Daniel Jackson in a private dining area at Homeland Security. He left the complex at around 21:00, we have him on camera leaving. O’Neill said that the one to one meeting was quite informal, and that during the meeting and dinner John seemed relaxed in himself and positive and excited about the next steps for the Expedition. Watching him on the security feed as he left the building backs that up, Sheppard looked happy and relaxed as he spoke to the security guards on exiting the building. O’Neill confirmed that Sheppard said he was planning on returning to base on 23 February and had joked that he better not be late as McKay was itching to show him some modifications he’d been working on.

We picked him up on the security feed at the hotel around half an hour later when he returned to his room, it’s around one and a half miles so the timing is right for him to have gone straight back there. The only person who accessed Sheppard’s room during the day was the housekeeper, a little Mexican lady who’s worked there for years. She confirmed that no-one had approached her or asked any questions about Sheppard. We searched the room thoroughly and found nothing that shouldn’t have been there and nothing glaring that seemed to be missing. O’Neill confirmed that John had no papers or confidential information on him, he used a computer whilst at the complex so all information he needed was saved directly to the mainframe.” He broke off to take a long drink of his coffee.

“He didn’t leave his room again until 06:30 the next morning. We picked him up on the security feed again leaving the hotel, he turned left onto Connecticut Avenue and started jogging. McGee picked him up turning right at the intersection with Albemarle St NW from where he could access Rock Creek Park at the Soapstone Valley Trail which, if he followed it along would come to Picnic Area 27, close to where he was found. It’s only 1.2 miles so if he was jogging, he would have had to have been on his way back when he was injured.” Gibbs broke off and turned to Rodney.

“Would he have gone jogging in BDUs and work boots, rather than sneakers and workout clothes?”

“Actually, yes.” Rodney replied. “When we’re on base he’s frequently roaming around the place at night and will often start jogging if he can’t sleep. In fact, he rarely wears workout clothes and sneakers unless he’s training in the gym. Did you find his wallet, ID and cellphone at the hotel? I can’t believe he didn’t take at least his cellphone with him.”

“We found his wallet and ID but not his cellphone, so can only assume he took it with him, along with the hotel keycard. Neither of which we found on him at the scene or anywhere in the vicinity. So, they were either stolen, or he ditched them, which he could have done if he realized there was going to be trouble. Just in case it was the latter, Balboa and Ortiz are going to plan out the most likely route he took and have a search of any areas just off the trail that he might have secured them.”

“But what it does mean is that whoever did this could identify him.” Tony surmised.

“Yeah, so we need to make sure he is kept in protective custody until we can either solve the case or he gets his memory back and can give us some more information. We’re still working on the link between Steel and Harris. McGee thinks he’s turned up something but is still working on it, along with Richardson at the Pentagon, they’ve been working through the night.”

“Don’t you people ever sleep?” Rodney demanded in amazement.

“Not when we’re on a hot case.” Tony replied. “Time is of the essence and evidence can deteriorate so quickly that once we’re on the trail of something, unless there really is nothing we can do overnight, like if we’re waiting for searches or the results of forensic evidence, then we’ll work through. By the way Boss, Rodney here has firearms training, with the Beretta 92FS, so if we can get him one, he’ll be able to help defend himself and Sheppard if necessary.”

“Good idea, that will reduce the number of agents needed for the protection detail. Gibbs nodded to the corner by the door. “By the way, his ID, clothes and some personal items are all in the bag, Abby ran them through for prints but Sheppards’ are the only ones on anything that she could pick up.”

“Thank you.” Rodney said gratefully. 

Gibbs looked over at Tony. “I was thinking that the cabin may be the best place to take them. It’s secluded enough to be private and anyone around is used to different people turning up ad hoc for weekends and getaways. If you go with them, you’re familiar enough with the area and if you and McKay are both carrying you should be able to protect yourselves if you set the security properly.

Sheppard has done a lot of black ops and classified missions so being away from anyone else will help as you won’t need to worry about him saying something in front of the wrong people. If his memory is patchy and comes back in bits and pieces, he’s not going to know what’s classified or not. O’Neill is getting his people to draft something that we can sign in case we hear anything that we shouldn’t, so you don’t have to worry about Sheppard saying something in front of me or DiNozzo.”

“Boss, the doc suggested that it may help Sheppard if you were willing to talk to him about your amnesia experience, just so he has someone who can relate to what he’s going through. Having gone through it with you, I can support Rodney, but doc thinks it would help Sheppard to have some support.”

Gibbs glared at Tony, and Rodney was interested to see that the younger agent looked a little worried, he thought Tony was about to backtrack when Gibbs spoke up.

“It’s a good idea. I’ll take a closer look at Sheppard’s service record, it’ll help to know what he’s been through, especially if we’re dealing with PTSD.” He rose and threw his empty cup into the bin.

“Well I’m meeting Sheppard’s brother this morning, he’s coming into the Navy Yard, so I’m pretty sure he’ll be in for a visit at some point today.” And with that he was gone.

******

“So, Gibbs’ cabin?” Rodney enquired after a few minutes silence.

“Definitely a secluded location. It’s in the Shenandoah Valley, on the bank of the Shenandoah River, right on the edge of the National Park. The closest neighbors are several hundred yards away. It was quite rustic back in the day, but Gibbs sympathetically extended the property and brought it up to date without detracting from the original design. After the second incident when an unwelcome visitor dropped in, he got McGee, who is our tech expert, to install top of the range security so that no-one can creep up on the place or break in unannounced. It has full surveillance outside as well which can be monitored remotely if required. It makes a good safe house.” Tony explained. “As well as being safe it’s also very beautiful, tranquil and peaceful. Just the sort of place you need if you’re recovering from a trauma, especially this sort of trauma where there’s likely to be a lot of frustration and potentially volatile emotion involved. Seriously Rodney, it’s not going to be easy, for you or for John.” He finished gently.

“You really do understand don’t you.” Rodney wrapped his arms around himself. “What did happen to Gibbs after his amnesia. Please, I don’t mean to pry but it might help me help John.”

Tony bit his lip and walked over to the window, staring out with unseeing eyes. “At first Gibbs memories of the past fifteen years were non-existent. Several of us tried to push him to remember things but in the end, I think Mike Franks, Gibbs’ former Team Leader, just straightforward told him some things. Gibbs threw up when Frank told him about 9/11, it was like everything was fresh to him, like it had just happened, unlike the rest of us who’d had time to process everything.

We were in the middle of a case when the explosion happened and somehow Gibbs remembered that he knew about something bad, that he had to remember what it was to stop it happening, he was so frustrated and pushed himself to remember. Eventually he did, there was a bomb on a Navy ship. But they didn’t believe him, to cut a long story short, the bomb went off sinking the ship and killing most of those aboard. Gibbs was sick to the stomach and he couldn’t deal with it all. The bomb, the waste of lives, that feeling of losing Shannon and Kelly all over again. He walked out on us, on NCIS, handed me his badge and gun, told me I’d do and went to live with Mike Franks in Mexico.”

“Shit, just like that.” Rodney exclaimed. “But he came back though.”

“Not for several months.” Tony sighed. “We were all in shock. Abby, our Forensic Scientist was constantly in tears, Ducky was just plain mad, Ziva and McGee didn’t believe he could just hand over to me and leave. I was a wreck, sure I’d led the Team more times than I could remember when Gibbs was injured, off at conferences or covering the Director, but never for more than a week at a time and I always knew he was coming back or that he was in the office or at the end of a phone if I needed him. But he’s not just my Boss, he’s my friend as well. I had to hold myself together for the sake the Team, try and hold them together all without the person I’d always turned to for support.” Tony took a deep breath and rested his forehead against the window.

“I’m sorry.” Rodney said awkwardly. “I didn’t realize how painful it was going to be for you. Did he have all of his memories by the time he returned.”

“Not all.’ Tony confessed. “I think I described his memory as being like Swiss Cheese to the Director at the time. Even now when something reminds me of a case we’ve solved in the past I can mention it to him and sometimes he just looks at me blankly. I have to explain to him what case it was and why, sometimes that will trigger his memories and other times he has no recollection at all. He’ll pull the case file and read through it to try and trigger his memories, but it doesn’t always work.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the entrance of a nurse with a tray, closely followed by Dr Brownlow.

“Okay, so I’m going to remove Colonel Sheppard’s feeding tube and we’ll try him on some real food. There’s some oatmeal and juice and some toast too if he wants it.” He turned to his patient who was beginning to wake.

“Okay Colonel Sheppard, how about we remove this tube and you can have some breakfast. How does that sound?” He reached for the remote to raise the head of the bed up to a more comfortable position. 

Rodney was glad to see that John came round a lot quicker this time. The doctor deftly removed the tube and disconnected the heart monitor at the same time. “There you go, that must feel more comfortable. How are you feeling now?”

Sheppard blinked and cleared his throat. Rodney handed him the juice, relieved to see that it was apple. “Here you go, it’s apple juice and it’s chilled, it will feel good on your throat.”

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude but who are you? John asked Rodney. “You’ve been hovering over me every time I’ve woken up, but I have no idea who you are.”

“My name is Dr Rodney McKay; I’m a scientist and we work together on a top secret classified government project. I’m the head of the science team and you are the head of the military contingent who protect us. We’re good friends both in and out of work.” Rodney avoided saying anything about being lovers and partners, it seemed too soon to throw that on John as well. 

John took another drink and turned to the Doctor. “So, when can I get out of here doc?”

“As soon as you can stay awake longer for an hour, can eat a proper meal and get out of bed and walk around without too much difficulty, bearing in mind you have an abdominal wound. So, within the next few hours, hopefully.”

“Well if you want me to be walking around perhaps you better remove this damn catheter too!” John demanded. “I really need to clean my teeth too; it feels like I have something small and furry in my mouth.”

“How about you eat your breakfast, stay awake for a further ten minutes and then we’ll try removing the catheter and getting you out of bed.” Dr Brownlow negotiated with a smile.

“Deal.” John agreed, holding his hand out for the bowl of oatmeal.

He ate slowly and carefully, minded that his stomach hadn’t had any real food for a couple of days. By the time he’d finished most of the oatmeal and juice he’d had enough.

After the nurse had returned and cleared away his breakfast John looked around the room and screwed his face up in a frown. “Is that my pack in the corner?” He asked. “It looks familiar somehow.”

“Yes, yes, it is!” Rodney exclaimed hopefully, picking up the pack and bringing it over to rest on his chair. “Gibbs picked it up from your hotel room and brought it over for you. Here, this is your ID, your dog tags are here too.” Rodney handed both over to John who slipped the dog tags over his head before staring at his ID.

“I look older in this picture, how old am I?” He asked cautiously.

“How old do you think you are?” Rodney challenged.

John looked up, surprised. “I would have said 35 but I guess I know that’s not right as I’m now a Lieutenant Colonel not Major and I’ve obviously been back from Afghanistan for some time. So how old am I?”

“You’re 45 and I’m 44, we’ve been working together for the past eight years.” Rodney told him.

“What else is in there?” John asked, pointing at the backpack.

“Not much, just your wallet, clothes and toiletries. Your cellphone is missing, you must have had it on you when you went out but NCIS didn’t find it anywhere near where you were found.”

Dr Brownlow picked that moment to return. ‘So, are you ready to get up and about.”

“Yeah, I feel okay after eating and I can’t wait to clean my teeth. I take it I do have a toothbrush in there?” He asked Rodney.

Rodney pulled the bag of toiletries out. “You have toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shaving foam, bodywash, deodorant and a face cloth.” He confirmed. “I’ll put it in the bathroom for you.”

“Right, let’s get this catheter removed. Gentlemen, if you don’t mind giving us some privacy for a couple of minutes.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Not that’s it’s anything I haven’t seen before but as you don’t remember who I am, I’ll wait outside the door.” He and Tony left the room and went in search of coffee while they waited.

******

When Rodney and Tony returned to the room John was laying back on his bed exhausted and Rodney looked worriedly at the doctor. 

Dr Brownlow smiled. “Don’t worry, he did fine.” He reassured Rodney. “Just remember he hasn’t been out of bed for over 24 hours and, with his injuries, this little trip did take a lot out of him. If he takes short walks with plenty of rest in between he’ll soon build up his strength again. He’s going to have a little pain with that abdominal injury too, but it’s healing well and shouldn’t give him any problems.”

“So, do you think he’ll be able to leave later today.” Rodney asked.

“Yes, barring any complications, he should be free to go.” He turned to address Tony. “You said you would be able to arrange medical attention, so I would suggest you check him over once you get him to wherever you’re taking him. Then it will just be a case of checking the wound and changing the dressing as necessary. The stitches should be able to come out in around seven to ten days, depending on how well the skin knits together.”

“Hmm, he usually heals fairly quickly, as long as he doesn’t do something stupid and burst the stitches.” Rodney commented. “Hopefully, where we’re going, he’ll have a better chance to heal than going back to base.”

“That’s good. He might find stairs a bit of a challenge for a few days so if he’s able to remain on one level that would probably be best, if it can be accommodated.”

“That’s no problem, the cabin has two bedrooms downstairs as well as an en-suite upstairs.” Tony explained. “We can sort out the details once we get there. There’s a large walk in shower in the ground floor bathroom, the rest of the cabin is open plan.”

“That sounds ideal, the fresh air and peaceful surroundings will do him good. Just make sure he doesn’t overdo it, he needs plenty of rest and don’t push too hard with his memories, just take it one step at a time so he’s not too overwhelmed with too much information in one go.” The doctor advised. “I have to go now; I’ve ordered something light for John’s lunch and I’ll pop in at around 16:00 and see how he is. Unless there have been any problems, I should be able to release him then.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Rodney looked over at John, who had dozed off again while they were talking. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t overdo it; he can be challenging but it sounds like he won’t have too many distractions at the cabin. He will appreciate getting out of here.”

Dr Brownlow chuckled. “I’m sure you’re all going to appreciate being able to sleep in a proper bed tonight. I’ll see you later, gentleman.”

After he’d gone Rodney turned to Tony, his mind working overdrive. “I take it with this protective custody you or one of your colleagues are going to have to stay with us at all times, and what do we do about food? Depending on how long we’re going to have to stay John and I may need more clothes, I guess the clothes he was wearing are ruined too. Hmm, actually, with that wound sweats may be better for him than his uniform and it doesn’t sound as if he brought any if he was jogging in his BDUs.” 

“The cabin’s used on a regular basis so there’s always dried and tinned supplies. I’ll give McGee a call and see if he’ll be able to pick up some fresh stuff so at least we’ll have the basics. I’ll remind him about the no citrus rule too.” Tony flashed a grin. “There is a washer/dryer there but, you’re right, John’s clothes were ruined, his boots were the only things that are still wearable. Sweats are a good idea; I’ll ask Tim to grab a pair of NCIS sweats for him to wear out of here. We can work out what else you need once we get to the cabin.”

The rest of the morning went quickly. Tony made a couple of phone calls to his colleagues and Rodney called O’Neill to update him. John slept for about an hour before waking up and insisting on getting out of bed for short walks at regular intervals. Rodney and Tony supported him at first but by lunchtime John was able to walk from his room to the doctors’ lounge and back without any assistance.

John’s lunch, which turned out to be some kind of mince and mashed potato, followed by a chocolate mousse, turned up at 12:30, closely followed by NCIS Agent Timothy McGee with a selection of sandwiches, chips, soda and coffee from a local deli, along with a pair of NCIS sweats for John. He noted Rodney and John’s requests for food and was quickly on his way, with a promise of returning as soon as the doctor cleared John to leave.

After lunch both John and Tony dozed off and Rodney spent a couple of hours in blissful silence losing himself in a simulation on his laptop, a welcome distraction to the worry of the past 24 hours. Rodney was roused from his calculations when John woke again at 15:00 and he looked up to find John watching him closely.

‘What?” Rodney asked cautiously. The look John was giving him was one he didn’t ever remember seeing on his partners’ face.

John shook his head. “I’m trying to remember you. Some of the things you do seem familiar, but I just can’t place you anywhere I’ve been stationed. I heard you mention the allergy to citrus and, although I don’t remember you, I know that I carry an epi-pen because of your citrus allergy.” He laid back and closed his eyes. “Hell, this is so frustrating.”

“Look, I’m not going to be offended if you don’t remember me straight away, trust me. I might just be a little upset if you still don’t remember me in six months’ time but, for now, just do what the doctor said and take it steady. If you’re remembering things about me, like carrying the epi-pen, then the memories are there, we just need to work on unlocking them.”

“What do you know about these people?” John nodded quietly to the still sleeping Tony. “I mean, I’ve come across NCIS before but what about them.”

“Honestly, I don’t know much. Tony came in with you and has been here just about ever since. All I can say is that he’s kept me in coffee and hasn’t complained about me. Which, when you do regain your memories, you’ll find surprising. I’ve not seen much of Gibbs and McGee but they seem efficient and dedicated. They had to interview O’Neill, sorry General Jack O’Neill, he’s the head of our project, and everyone you’ve been having meetings with over the past few days and he said that Gibbs and his team are the best.” Rodney stopped and ran his hand over his head. “This doesn’t mean anything to you though, does it, as you don’t know any of us.”

Rodney broke off at a tap on the door. Tony woke immediately and sprang to his feet, hand already pulling out his gun.

“It’s okay.” John called out. “That’s my brother, I guess it’s safe to let him in.”

Tony re-holstered his gun and pulled out his cell. “Damn, missed a message from Gibbs warning me your bother was on his way over.” He grinned self-consciously, indicating to the man outside to come in.

“Dammit John.” Dave crossed over to his brother. “Agent Gibbs told me what happened, I wish I’d persuaded you to stay now. I told Gibbs you could stay with us, but he said it would be easier to protect you at one of their safe houses but is there anything I can do?”

John looked at his brother with some reticence. “It seems I can’t remember the last ten or so years of my life and from what I do remember I haven’t seen or spoken to you for even longer than that. Rodney tells me that I’ve worked with him for the past eight years, but I don’t remember him. He also told me that you and I have been trying to mend fences, but I don’t recall any of that.”

Dave looked over at Rodney, he could see the questions in Dave’s eyes and shook his head in the negative.

“Okay, look John, I know we’ve been estranged for a long time but, Rodney’s right, we have been trying to reconnect. You and Rodney have visited us over the past couple of years and I’ve met a couple of your other colleagues too. I can see this is difficult for you so I’ll keep my distance for now but, if there is anything I can do, or if there’s anything you want to know, or talk about, then Rodney has my numbers and you’re welcome to ring me any time, day or night.”

John sighed with relief. “Sorry Dave don’t take this the wrong way but thank you for that. I do appreciate it. Hopefully, this won’t take too long to resolve, both my memory and the case and maybe Rodney and I can stop off and see you before we go back to wherever we’re supposed to be.”

“Yeah.” Dave smiled warmly. “That would be good.” He held out his hand. After a second, John took it and the brothers shook hands.

Dave turned and caught Rodney’s attention and both men left the room. Once outside and out of sight of the men in the room, Dave reached out and gave Rodney a quick hug. “Damn Rodney, how are you holding up? John doesn’t even remember you, let alone remember you’ve been in a relationship for years.”

“I know.” Rodney replied sadly. “I can’t say anything to him, I have to wait for him to remember. Anyway, I want to be here to help him, if I push him to remember too fast, he might turn away from me. He freaked out enough when he first admitted he was gay when we started our relationship, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize his recovery by stressing his out with this. He’ll never believe that for the past three years you’ve invited us, along with Jeannie, Caleb and Madison for either Christmas or New Year and that the kids get on like a house on fire. I mean, I’ll tell him eventually but not before he remembered that there’s an us. I’ll have to tell him about your father too.”

Dave sighed. “I hope this doesn’t last long, I hate seeing him so closed off again, I thought we were long over that. Look Rodney, feel free to call me for any reason, even if you just want to talk. Okay?”

“Thanks Dave, I appreciate your support. I’ll have to tell Jeannie too. It all couldn’t have happened at a worst time; the meetings John was attending in DC were all about planning our next mission.” Rodney turned to go back in the room. “Look, the doctor is looking to release John later today, I’ll keep in touch and let you know how he’s doing.”

“That would be good, thanks. Don’t worry about Jeannie for now, I’ll give her a call as soon as I get home and let her know what’s going on, it’ll be easier for me, you concentrate on John.” Dave replied. “Take care Rodney, I’ll speak to you soon.”

He turned and walked away. Rodney stood and stared after him until long after he disappeared from view.

******

By the time Dr Brownlow made it back to the room John was perched on the edge of the bed, impatient to be sprung. Between them, Rodney and Tony had told him about the cabin and what to expect and Rodney could see he was looking forward to it. It was more John’s sort of getaway than Rodney’s, but Rodney had been somewhat placated by the promise of good coffee and wifi.

Within half an hour of being released, John had washed, shaved and was dressed in the NCIS sweats ready to go as soon as Tim McGee arrived.

The marines escorted the party down to the car, even though there hadn’t been any trouble at the hospital no-one was taking any chances. Rodney had been issued with a Beretta, Evan Lorne having faxed through a copy of his qualification certificate to General O’Neill, who had been able to issue the required permit and gun. John would be required to re-certify before he was allowed to carry a gun, which had frustrated him.

They were soon under way. Their Marine guards followed them through DC and over the Potomac River into Virginia. When they reached Arlington the marines branched off through Alexandria to return to base at Quantico while they headed towards Fairfax and the Shenandoah National Park.

Rodney watched his partner as the car wound its way through the Shenandoah Valley. The February evening was bright and crisp, with a light fluttering of snow swirling around them as NCIS Agent Timothy McGee steered the car carefully along the country roads.

They’d turned off I-66 at Linden and were driving along River Road, adjacent to the South Fork Shenandoah River. John had been sitting in a tense silence since they’d left the hospital and after a few attempts at conversation Rodney had let him be, lost in his own thoughts and allowing the quiet conversation between the two NCIS agents in the front seats to wash over him. Eventually, John had fallen into a light doze about three quarters of an hour into the journey.

They’d been on the road around two and a half hours when Rodney noticed a change in the demeanor of the two Agents in the front of the car.

“Trouble?” He asked in concern.

“No, we’re almost there, just a few more minutes.” Tony replied, as the car pulled off the main road, following a rough gravel track through the trees. “Wake John up, but don’t either of you get out of the car until we have, just to be on the safe side, then we want both of you to get out on your side of the car as that will be closest to the house.”

“Okay.” Rodney replied turning to John and shaking his arm lightly. “John. Sheppard. Time to wake up, we’ve arrived.”

John blinked slowly a few times, looking around him and getting his bearings. “Where are we?”

“The cabin, remember? Shenandoah Valley. The NCIS safe house.” Rodney reminded him.

“Hmm.” He shook his head, as if that would help shake the memories loose. “This is just so weird. I feel like I drunk too much at a party about ten years ago and have just woken up with a hangover and no recollection of the past ten years.”

There was a snort of laughter from the front of the car and Tony turned to look at him. “I hope you haven’t got the headache to go with that hangover. How is your head anyway?”

“Not too bad.” John replied honestly. “I think the drugs the doc gave me before we left are beginning to wear off though.”

“That’s okay, we can dose you up again as soon as we get inside, get something to eat too. Gibbs arrived about an hour ago to check the place over and get the heat on, hopefully, he thought of something to eat too. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

John chuckled. “Yeah, I could eat. And sleep, even though I’ve only just woken up.”

“You’ve been through a lot in the past couple of days, your body knows what it needs to do to recover, that’s going to be the easy part.” Tony commented as the car finally pulled up to a pretty and well-lit cabin.

Rodney saw the front door open as Tony and Tim got out of the car, Gibbs appearing on the doorstep to greet them. Tony quickly checked the immediate area while Tim came and opened Rodney’s door. Rodney grabbed their packs while Tim helped steady John as he climbed out and up the three steps to the porch, with Tony and Gibbs grabbing a couple of boxes from the trunk. A moment later they were all inside in the warmth, the door shut, locked and bolted behind them with the alarm set. Better still, Rodney could smell the heavenly aroma of what he thought was lasagna wafting from the kitchen area.

“That smells amazing, please tell me it’s ready to eat.” Rodney could feel his mouth watering at the enticing smell.

“Just needs about five more minutes to brown the cheese off properly.” Tony replied from the kitchen. “You raided my freezer, Boss, this is one of mine.”

“Thought everyone needed a decent meal after the past few days.” Gibbs replied. “There’s a salad in the fridge and garlic bread warming in the top oven.” He started unpacking the boxes of food Tim had brought. “Tony why don’t you show our McKay round, let him choose where he wants to sleep.”

“Come this way.” Tony waved them over. “It depends whether you’re happy to share a room, or whether you’d prefer to have your own rooms. The two rooms downstairs are either side of the bathroom.” He pushed open the bathroom door, showing a spacious room with a large, walk in shower, before moving on to the room on the right, another spacious room with two double beds, a nightstand beside each bed and built in closets along the opposite wall. The large picture window was covered by heavy curtains in a soft cream, which matched the bedding. The walls and floor were the same beautiful honey colored polished wood as the rest of the cabin. “This would be the better room for John as it’s on the ground floor. I’m going to take the other ground floor room, as I’d prefer to be downstairs just in case there’s trouble. John do you want to get settled here while I show Rodney upstairs, then you can decide whether you want to be roomies or not.” He finished with a grin, turning and beckoning Rodney to follow him.

The stairs wound their way up from beside the door, turning the corner halfway up to join a gallery hallway above which looked down into the living area. The upstairs room was built into the eves of the house, with sloping ceilings and dormer windows. The king-sized bed and curtains were furnished in the same cream color as the bedroom downstairs. The en-suite bathroom had a similar walk in shower to the room downstairs. “There’s also a hot tub out on the side porch.” Tony confessed with a cheeky grin. ‘Although I don’t suppose John should use it until his stitches are out.”

“It’s a gorgeous cabin.” Rodney had to admit he was impressed. “Did you say that Gibbs built some of this himself?”

“Yeah. The original cabin was just the ground floor with one bedroom and bathroom. Gibbs redesigned the ground floor completely, the bedrooms and bathroom are now both in the extended part of the cabin, hence the layout of the upstairs with the gallery.” Tony explained. “We come out here as a team occasionally, but most of the time we just use it individually or with our partners. It makes a great weekend getaway just to have some downtime and it’s just far enough away to make it worthwhile, without being too close that they can call us out easily if we’re supposed to be off rotation for the weekend.”

“I’d love to sleep up here if John was well, but under the circumstances I don’t expect he’d want to share a bed, even if he could get up and down the stairs easily.” Rodney decided. “I’d prefer to stay with John downstairs, but if he’d rather be alone, I’ll sleep up here.”

‘Okay. Well dinner should be about ready so why don’t we eat, then you can see what John wants to do.”

They made their way back downstairs. Rodney had to admit, it really was a beautiful cabin. The polished honey gold wood gave the place warmth and comfort. Gibbs was just pulling the lasagna out of the oven as they descended, with Tim placing salad and garlic bread on the table. John was already seated, toying with a glass of water.

They sat down at the table and everyone started helping themselves to the food. Rodney closed his eyes as he almost inhaled his first forkful of lasagna. “This smelled amazing and it tastes even better.” He enthused. “Where did you get it from.”

“It’s DiNozzo’s family recipe.” Gibbs replied with a grin. “He cooks up big batches of it and freezes them, all I had to do was add some cheese to the top. It’s the best lasagna I’ve ever eaten.”

“It’s my Nan’s recipe.” Tony explained. “She gave our cook a recipe book of all her recipes that had been handed down to her so she could make them for my Dad. The cook taught me to cook when I was a kid and she left me the original cookbook handwritten by my Nan when she died. The lasagna is a universal favorite so I’m not surprised Gibbs raided my freezer.” Tony chuckled.

‘You just walked into his home and raided his freezer?” Rodney asked in shock.

“Well, I actually went to get him some clothes and stuff, but I was pretty sure that after a couple of days sitting at the hospital he’d enjoy one of his favorite meals.” Gibbs responded with a grin.

“Hmm, good point, I guess.” Rodney conceded.

“I was just telling John that I’ve picked up some clothes for you both.” Tim told Rodney. I didn’t think you’d need too much out here but there’s t-shirts, sweats, sweaters, boxers and socks. But if you need anything else let Tony know and I can pick up anything else you need.”

“You’re welcome to use this place as long as you want.” Gibbs chipped in. “Obviously, we’re still working the case and we do need you to stay here until we’ve closed it but if you want to stay longer you can.”

“Thank you.” Rodney replied in surprise. “That’s kind of you. I take it we’re going to have to have a baby-sitter until you can find out who did this.”

Gibbs smirked. “DiNozzo’s going to stay with you for now. McGee and I will carry on working from the Navy Yard with help from the other teams. We’re slowly making progress.” He turned to John. “Obviously, if there is anything you do remember let Tony know and he can pass the information on to us, but don’t beat yourself up over it if you can’t remember, we’ll work it out.”

John nodded and returned to his meal. Rodney was pleased to see that he was eating, although he hadn’t taken part in any of the conversation. He hadn’t filled his plate too full but what he had taken he was working his way through appreciatively.

“Are you travelling back tonight?” Rodney asked Gibbs, looking out at the falling snow.

“No, McGee and I are going to stay the night and leave early in the morning. Shouldn’t be so much on the roads. We choose the 4x4s because of the weather and we’ll leave one here for you, just in case you need transport, and take the other back. Ideally, I’d like you to stay here though, you’ll be safer in the cabin than on the road.”

“I’m sure we can find something to do so we won’t get bored.” Tony’s eyes gleamed with mischief and Rodney caught Gibbs rolling his eyes.

“Just don’t set fire to the place, DiNozzo.” Gibbs cautioned.

“Oh, come on, Boss. It was once and there were extenuating circumstances.” Tony implored.

To Rodney’s amusement, Gibbs just raised his eyebrows and the younger agent blushed, dropping his head as he stood and started clearing away the empty plates. Tim grinned and stood to help him and Rodney joined them. The three men worked efficiently on the clear up, with Tim washing up, Rodney drying and Tony putting everything away. The next time Rodney turned around, Gibbs and John had both disappeared.

“Don’t worry.” Tony told him quietly. “Gibbs is just going to tell him about his experience with amnesia, he’s not going to push him to open up just yet, at least not unless he wants to. He just wants John to know that he can empathize and is around if John does want to talk.”

“What if his memories never come back?” Rodney slumped back into a chair miserably. “What happens then? The Air Force won’t want him, and he won’t be allowed to fly. John lives to fly, it’s all he ever wanted to do. They’ll just get rid of him or tie him to a desk and that would kill him.”

“Hey, don’t start talking like that.” Tony butted in sharply, slamming his hand down on the table. “It’s only been a couple of days, give him time to remember before you start writing him off.”

Rodney glared back at him, raising his voice. “How do you know whether or not he’ll remember. The Air Force is his life and if he has gaps in his memory, they’re never going to let him fly again.”

“Come on, that’s enough.” Tim interrupted, before either of them could say anything further. “Arguing isn’t going to help John. He needs you to stay positive, Rodney.” He sat down next to Rodney, while Tony stalked off into the bathroom. “Look, you’re tired and so is Tony, this is difficult for him too. He had a hard time of it when Gibbs walked out on us and it isn’t something he likes to remember. He wants to help you though, that’s why he offered to be the one to stay with you.”

Rodney frowned. “I thought Gibbs ordered him to!”

Tim shook his head. “No, Tony volunteered. He’s worked with Gibbs the longest and they’ve always been close friends, which is why he thought he was best person to understand what you are going through.” 

“And he asked Gibbs to speak to John too.” Rodney replied miserably. “Damn, I do put my foot in it sometimes. I’m…I’m not very good with people and I don’t always read them very well.”

Rodney was relieved when Tim smiled at him. “Tony’s very easy to get along with, he doesn’t hold grudges. He’s the kind of person who’ll do anything for anyone. You’ll both be fine after a good nights’ sleep. Come on, let’s get the coffee going. If no-one else wants it I know you, I and Gibbs will drink it.”

Five minutes later and the coffee was brewing. While he waited, Rodney heated milk up in the microwave and made hot chocolate for Tony by way of apology. Tim threw him a packet of mini marshmallows and, checking in the fridge, Rodney found a can of aerosol cream as well, feeling absurdly pleased with himself at Tim’s nod of approval.

Tim poured coffee for them both and they moved into the living area, the open fire making the whole area warm and cozy. Tony was already curled up in the corner of the sofa, looking subdued and exhausted. He looked up as they walked over.

“Thanks, this is just what I needed.” He smiled tiredly in appreciation as he wrapped both hands around the mug Rodney handed him.

At that moment Gibbs walked into the room. “Do I smell coffee?” He remarked, walking through to the kitchen and pouring himself a drink in one of the mugs left out for him.

“McKay, Sheppard’s just getting ready for bed. I think he’s pretty much done in after everything today, he wants to talk to you before he goes to sleep though.”

Rodney stood and made his way into the bedroom, realizing that it was the first time he and John had been really alone for over a week.

“Hey, how are you doing?” He asked awkwardly.

John shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly? I really haven’t a clue.” He admitted. “Talking to Gibbs has helped, given me an idea what I can expect. I mean, it’s disturbing, I’m surrounded by people I don’t know, although, clearly my brother knows you and he obviously knows you better than I do at the moment.” He scrubbed a hand across his face. “Hell, this is so frustrating. I have a job that’s classified, and I haven’t the faintest idea what it is, who I work with and where I work.”

“Look, don’t worry about this tonight. Try and get a decent nights’ sleep and we’ll talk about it more in the morning. Your doctor suggested we go through your memory, starting with your childhood and working forward, that way we’ll know where the blanks are, and we can try to start filling them in. It’s better if you can actually recall things yourself rather than having me just tell you about them.” Rodney explained. “Just one final thing, we, um, we’ve often shared quarters so are you happy with me bunking here with you, or would you rather be alone. I mean, I can sleep upstairs if necessary.” Rodney finished unhappily.

John sighed. “Rodney it’s fine. You sleep in here if you want to. I get the impression you’ll sleep better if you can keep your eye on me and anyway, you’re going to wake me up every few hours for concussion checks, so it will be easier in the long run.”

“Good, ah, thank you. Yes, yes that will help.” Rodney stuttered, mentally kicking himself for sounding so awkward. “I’ll let you get some sleep now. You know we are here if you need anything.” He slipped out of the room and pulled the door shut, leaning back on it in relief and taking a deep breath. He hadn’t realized how much it meant to him until that moment, he’d been so afraid that John wouldn’t want to share with him, even though they would be sleeping in different beds, at least they would be in the same room.

He returned to the living area, detouring to the kitchen to refill his coffee mug. Tired as he was, he wasn’t ready to go to bed. In any case, he wanted to make sure John was asleep before he went back into their room to give him at least the semblance of some privacy. “John’s happy with me bunking in with him.” He said to Gibbs. “So, the upstairs room is free for whoever wants it.” 

Gibbs nodded. “Hey, DiNozzo.” He reached over and removed the tilting mug from Tony’s lax fingers. “Why don’t you hit the rack before you fall asleep where you are.”

Tony yawned. “Good idea, Boss.” He muttered, half asleep. “I’ll see you all in the morning.” 

“McKay, do you and DiNozzo have a problem?” Gibbs asked pointedly once Tony had disappeared from view.

“No, no, not at all. Look, I’m a genius in my field but I’m really not good with people.” Rodney explained. “I can count my actual friends on the fingers of one hand and some of those are because of John. You know, there are only about two people who could actually stand to be stuck with me for any length of time without wanting to kill me and they’re John and my second in command, Radek. But I like Tony, he’s been good to me.” He sighed and shook his head. “He told me that it was a difficult time when you had amnesia, but I still didn’t think before I spoke.”

“Good, it won’t benefit anyone if there’s tension between you. Sheppard needs your focus to be on him, he doesn’t need the distraction of you being at odds with DiNozzo.”

“Knowing Sheppard, I’m surprised he doesn’t already think this is some kind of conspiracy.” Rodney signed. “After all, his current memories don’t include me, General O’Neill, or any one of his current teammates or colleagues and as far as he is aware, he’s not on speaking terms with his brother.”

“He does.” Gibbs confirmed. “Or he did, I think I’ve managed to dissuade him of the conspiracy theory. Luckily although he doesn’t remember you, there are things about you which are familiar to him. Things like your habits and characteristics. He knows you’ll work through the night if you need to, that you mainline coffee and that you wave your arms around when you talk, especially when you’re agitated.” He explained. “It’s a good sign. Just be patient with him.”

“Yes, I will.” Rodney replied gratefully. He leaned back further into the comfortable chair. With his stomach full of excellent food, a mug of very decent coffee in his hand and the comfort of the warm fire, he finally relaxed for the first time in several days.


	5. 25 February 2012

When Rodney woke the following morning, John was still asleep. He got out of bed quietly, so as not to disturb him, and made his way to the bathroom before following the scent of coffee to the kitchen.

“What time is it?” He asked sleepily as he took the mug of coffee Tony handed him and sat down at the table.

“It’s 07:50.” Tony leaned back against the counter with his own mug. “Did you and John sleep well?”

“Yes thanks. John’s still asleep, he woke briefly for each of the concussion checks and then went straight back to sleep, so did I.” Rodney replied. “Where are Gibbs and Tim, have they left already?”

“Yes, they left at 05:30, they’ll be back at the Navy Yard soon. They stopped off at Gibbs favorite diner to grab breakfast about ten minutes ago.”

Rodney frowned at Tony. The other man was dressed in jeans and a cream sweater and still looked tired. “Are you okay, you look as if you’ve been up half the night.”

“Gibbs woke me up at 05:00 when he got up, he wanted to talk to me. He did tell me to go back to sleep, but I was wide awake by then.” Tony shrugged.

“Look, I’m sorry about yesterday.” Rodney apologized. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you, I know you’re trying to help, and you were right, I should be more positive, especially if I want John to trust me.”

“Don’t sweat it, look, I shouldn’t have snapped at you either.” Tony walked over and sat at the table opposite him. “Gibbs warned me this morning that offering to support you isn’t going to work if I lose my patience when you start having doubts. So, let’s just forget about it and move on. Now, what do you want for breakfast. There’s fruit, cereal, toast, or I could make pancakes or an omelet.”

“Cereal and toast will be fine, you don’t need to go to any bother.”

“It’s no bother. I enjoy cooking, I find it relaxing.” Tony confessed. “I haven’t eaten yet and I was going to do an omelet, so it’s no trouble, I’ve already got mushrooms, bacon and peppers chopped up ready.”

“It sounds good, in that case I’ll have the omelet. Do you have cheese as well?”

“Great and yes I have cheese, I forgot to mention it. There’s juice in the fridge if you want some. Tim picked up apple, cranberry and grape to avoid the citrus.”

“Thanks. What else do you do when you’re up here, beside cooking.” Rodney asked as Tony threw a handful of ingredients into the pan.

“Generally, just relax and sleep. Quite often, I come up here after a long or difficult case and I just want to sleep and switch off for a while. I tend to watch DVDs, read, do crosswords or sudoku. Chill out in the hot tub, go for walks, it really is a beautiful area whatever the time of year, although you and John really haven’t the gear to go far.”

“Anyway, Gibbs wanted us to stay in the cabin. Does he really think we’re at risk here?”

“We still don’t know what happened to John.” Tony shrugged, as he poured beaten egg into another pan. “If he was the actual target or if he witnessed the murders and someone and realizes he’s still alive they could be looking for him. We have no reason to believe we were followed, or even if they are after John, but we do need to be cautious until we know for sure.”

“Is that bacon I smell cooking?” John shuffled slowly into the kitchen.

“Welcome to DiNozzo’s Diner.” Tony replied with a cheeky grin. “If I can interest you in this morning’s special, it’s a bacon, mushroom, pepper and cheese omelet.”

“That sounds great.” John replied, sitting down next to Rodney. “Dinner last night was good, but I’ve really got my appetite back this morning.”

“How are you feeling, do you need any pain medication.” Rodney jumped to his feet to get John a drink. “Coffee, water, juice?”

“No meds, the head’s a little sore and the side is bearable at the moment. Coffee and juice would be good, what flavor juice.”

“We’ve got apple, grape and cranberry. You usually prefer apple but if you’d rather…”

“No, apple is fine.” John tipped his head to one side in thought. “I seem to be able to remember what I like and don’t like. I do like orange juice, but I know that I don’t drink it very often. I guess I avoid it because of your citrus allergy.” He looked questioningly at Rodney, who nodded.

“Yes, you said that you’d rather be safe than sorry. The rest of our team tend to avoid it as well. You made a comment once that someone could easily kill me trying to save my life, just by having orange juice for breakfast and it put people off.” Rodney gave John his coffee and juice before topping up his and Tony’s mugs.

“Is there any chance of taking a shower this morning?” John asked. “I feel absolutely filthy, but I can’t remember what the doc said about it.”

“Yes, I’ve got fresh dressings for your side and your head, if it needs it.” Tony told him. “Our ME will be here this evening to check your wounds and see how they are. It may be worth taking a couple of the pain meds before you shower though.”

“Actually, that’s not such a bad idea.” John agreed “Just over the counter ones though. I want to start working through my memories this morning so don’t want to knock myself out completely.”

“Your ME?” Rodney looked horrified. “The doctor you promised is your ME?”

Tony laughed as he served up two perfect, fluffy omelets to the men at the table. “He’s a qualified doctor too, used to work for the British Royal Army Medical Corps. He’s NCIS’ Medical Examiner now. He regularly patches up me and Gibbs, including putting in and taking out stitches.” He assured them.

Rodney looked at John, who didn’t look at all perturbed and was already tucking into his breakfast. “Well, if you’re happy with that Sheppard that’s the main thing.” Rodney took a bite of his own omelet and had to admit it was one of the best he’d tasted.

Tony quickly dished up his own breakfast and sat down at the table across from them and they chatted amicably while they polished off their food.

After breakfast Tony shooed them out of the kitchen while he cleared up and Rodney followed John back to their room.

“Do you mind helping me out of these dressings?” John asked hesitantly.

“No, of course not.” Rodney assured him. “Sit down on the bed, it’ll be easier to take the bandage off your head.” Rodney worked carefully and soon had the bandage and both dressings off. “Both wounds look good, just go gently with them.”

John disappeared into the bathroom and Rodney sighed, wishing he could join him in the large shower. The showers on Atlantis were really too small for two grown men, but Rodney anticipated that they could have had some fun in the cabin’s generous shower. Instead he hunted through the bags that had been left in their room the evening before and laid everything out on the beds. From the sizes it was clear which was for him and which was meant for John.

True to his military training it wasn’t long before John was showered, shaved and back out, wrapped in a towel. Rodney quickly slipped into the bathroom, allowing John the privacy of dressing in peace.

When Rodney came out of the shower John wasn’t in the room, so Rodney dressed and made his way back out into the main room, where John and Tony were sitting in the living area with mugs in their hand.

“There’s fresh coffee in the kitchen.” Tony called out to him, standing up. “Look, I’m going to sit in the bedroom and read, give you two some privacy.”

“You don’t have to.” John looked up. “If all we’re doing to start off with is go back through my childhood it doesn’t matter if you overhear anything, there’s nothing classified until much later on.”

“Okay, thanks. Gibbs did say that O’Neill was working on some kind of disclosure for us to sign just in case we overheard something classified.” Tony looked grateful. “It is warmer in here. Although I’ll probably fall asleep before too long.”

******

“Where do we start.” John walked into the kitchen and sat at the table, watching Rodney while he poured himself a coffee.

“Well, I think you’re supposed to start from your childhood.” Rodney frowned in concentration, trying to remember what he’d been told back at the hospital. “I mean, I don’t think you need to go into too much detail as I guess I only know the important things and highlights of what happened while you were growing up so stick with the main points for now. If what you say ties up with what I already know then I think you’re safe, but if anything doesn’t seem to tie up then I guess we need to dig deeper.”

John took a moment to collect his thoughts. “I was born in Virginia. My paternal Grandfather was quite wealthy and owned stables and a large house near Fredericksburg, close to the Rappahannock River. He bred racehorses, those that weren’t good enough for racing he hired out to holiday makers and experienced riders who weren’t able to own their own horses. When my parents married, they passed the house on to my father and they moved into a small guest house on the grounds. I know my grandparents are both dead now. 

My Dad wasn’t interested in the stables as he was more interested in the utilities company he was building up. My Mother loved horses and she worked with my Grandfather, gradually taking over the day to day running of the stables, although my Grandfather carried on working with her right up until he died.

My brother Dave was born two years after I was. We were like chalk and cheese growing up. I had my mothers' hair and eyes and her slim figure, I loved the outdoors, the horses, skiing, snowboarding.” He chuckled, smiling fondly. “Any sport that went fast and felt like flying. Dave was the opposite. He had Dad’s stocky build, his fair hair and pale eyes. He hated the outdoors and spent most of his time indoors, with books and games. From an early age he was interested in Dad’s business, he read newspapers and really was Dad’s mini-me.”

Three hours of memories later and John’d had enough. They’d sat at the kitchen table all morning, surrounded by an ever-increasing number of pages of Rodney’s spidery handwriting. As John recalled things from his childhood, they hadn’t necessarily come in order, so Rodney had ended up jotting things down as John mentioned them.

So far, things had been going well, better than Rodney had actually expected. Whilst recalling his mother, the horses, his brother and his father prior to attending Stanford John’s memory had tripped into the future, remembering returning to the house for his fathers’ funeral. That recollection had been difficult for John, stirring up emotions he wasn’t quite ready for, along with the reminder that he would never be able to make peace with the man.

John had walked off, asking Rodney to give him some time alone and he’d retreated to the bedroom. Rodney closed his eyes and sighed, wishing John would share some of his pain but giving the man the time he’d requested.

Rodney booted up his laptop and made a fresh pot of coffee, before padding quietly to the living area and, after throwing another couple of logs on the fire, sitting in one of the comfortable chairs. As he’d expected, Tony had fallen asleep quickly once he’d relaxed with his book in front of the fire, and was curled up on the sofa fast asleep, so Rodney was careful not to wake him.

Rodney was almost asleep himself when sudden muttering brought him quickly wide awake and he realized that Tony was becoming restless and agitated. He put his laptop down and was about to reach over to the agent when Tony came awake with a start.

“Are you okay?” Rodney asked anxiously. “You looked like you were having a nightmare.”

“Sorry. I really don’t have a clue what I was dreaming about.” Tony admitted honestly. “Mostly I do but occasionally I have these dreams which I know have disturbed be but without any recollection of what they are. All part of the joys of our line of work.”

He stretched and looked at his watch. “I’m going to see what I can rustle up for lunch. We’ll have a main meal tonight if that’s okay with you. The others are going to want something when they get here anyway.”

“No that’s fine.” Rodney agreed. “We’re pretty easy as to what time we eat.”

“How did it go with John?” Tony asked when he reached the kitchen, glancing at the pages scattered over the table.

Rodney got up to retrieve the papers. “Pretty well. We talked through his childhood and up until he left home to join the Air Force. That actually reminded him of his fathers’ funeral which in one way was good as it’s something which happened within the past few years. However, it threw him a bit, so he asked for a break.”

“Yeah, the memory can play tricks like that.” Tony pulled out the loaf of bread and picked some deli bags out of the fridge, peering in them. “Beef okay?”

“Sounds good.” John replied as he walked in. Helping himself to a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting down beside Rodney. “Sorry about earlier, thanks for giving me time.”

“That’s okay, this will bring up some difficult things and you don’t want to overwhelm yourself with too much too quickly.” Rodney watched him anxiously, but John seemed calm now, so he pushed his concerns down.

John picked up the papers which Rodney had collected into a random pile and started reading through them again, putting them into order as he went. “This was a good idea.” He indicated the sheets full of Rodney’s writing. “I thought I‘d be able to go through everything in chronological order but that doesn’t appear to be how my mind works.” He picked up Rodney’s pen and started making a few notes of his own.

“Is it going to make it difficult with your black ops missions, do you remember how many of them there were. Rodney frowned. “Do we need to contact someone on the same mission for you to talk to?”

“That may not be a good idea.” Tony spoke up as he walked over, placing plates of thick roast beef and salad sandwiches, each with a handful of chips, on the table. “We don’t yet know why John was attacked and, for all we know, it could have something to do with one of these missions. Maybe a relative of someone who died who wants to get revenge on a survivor. We’ve seen it before.’ He grabbed bottles of water from the fridge and handed them over, before sitting down himself.

“Gibbs is trying to get himself read into Johns’ full record. He’s a Marine and has done black ops of his own and his clearance is already pretty high. He’s working directly with O’Neill to reduce the number of people who know what’s going on.”

“That would be helpful.” John agreed. “I’ll make a list after lunch of the places I can remember being stationed. Rodney, I can go over with you the places I did my training as I know that there’ll be nothing classified there. Then I can run through with Gibbs the ones which are classified and see how many of them there are and how many I’ve remembered. There will be some that I can talk to you about, not everything was classified. There’ll be personal stuff too so we’re not exactly going to run out of things to talk about.”

“Good, good.” Rodney nodded. “Are you happy to carry on after lunch or would you rather give it a break for the rest of the day?”

“No, I want to do this!” John raised his voice, clearly frustrated. “I hate this not knowing. I want to know what happened to me so we can catch whoever murdered those Marines and I want to remember my life. I want to know who you are, Rodney. It frustrates the hell out of me that I don’t!” He rose, picking up his empty plate and walking over to the sink, staring out at the white landscape outside.

“So, do you ever get snowed in here?” Rodney asked Tony, changing the subject to give John a few minutes. 

“It can happen in the worse snowstorms but they’re not forecasting more than a few inches and they keep the roads pretty well cleared.” Tony replied. “The 4x4s can cope easily too so it would have to be a lot worse than this for us to be snowed in.” He stood and started clearing the rest of the lunch things from the table.

Rodney got up and filled the coffee machine and switched it on before turning to John. “Hey, you okay?”

John sighed and returned to the table. “I’m sorry, Rodney, I didn’t mean to shout at you. This isn’t your fault; I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

Rodney paced between the counter and the table. “Look John, I know you. We will get through this. We’ve been though worse things than this and come out the other side, believe me.” Rodney’s mind flashed back to so many other times he’d almost lost John, it never got any easier and Rodney couldn’t help but be grateful that it was John who had survived the attack.”

He poured three coffees, adding Tony’s hazelnut creamer and John’s milk, before carrying his and John’s to the table and collecting his laptop, the notes they had made earlier and the pad of paper and pen, the latter two items he handed to John. He sat down and opened his laptop, while Tony silently grabbed his coffee and, after throwing a few more logs on the fire, curled up on the sofa with his iPod, plugging in his earphones and selecting his music choice before opening his book. Rodney grinned slightly, guessing that it wouldn’t be long before the agent was fast asleep again.

It had surprised Rodney. He’d thought it would be intrusive having a stranger around constantly, but it wasn’t. Tony was easy to get along with, he had managed to find just the right balance between being around and being almost invisible, it made Rodney feel safe, especially as John wasn’t allowed to carry a firearm at the moment. John didn’t seem bothered by the agents’ presence at all, but then Rodney reminded himself that, being military, John would be used to having other people around.

Rodney watched as John took a deep breath and glanced through the sheets of paper he had written up that morning. “Okay, we got as far as me leaving home for Stanford, so I’ll carry on from there and flight school until I get to where I was actually posted overseas. Then I’ll make a list of the places and missions I remember, and I can go over them with Gibbs when he gets here to work out which ones are classified.”

******

Two hours later and John had exhausted memories of Stanford and flight school and they were both working silently, with John recalling and listing his missions and Rodney working on one of his own projects.

Rodney looked up as Tony wandered into the kitchen. “Hey, how’s it going?” He asked. “I just wondered if you two wanted to do a swap so I can take over the kitchen.”

“Yes sure.” Rodney grinned. “I don’t want to get in the way of someone with intentions of feeding me.” He was pleased to see John grinning as he picked up the notepad and pen and relocated to one of the chairs by the fire. 

Rodney set the coffee maker going again and moved the laptop and the rest of the papers through onto the coffee table before going back for his coffee. John and Tony had both decided on sodas.

They’d been sitting working in companionable silence for around half an hour when John looked up suddenly.

“Did you say I was at Homeland Security for some of these meetings?”

“The Nebraska Avenue Complex, yes.” Rodney replied. “O’Neill works out of The Pentagon, but it was more convenient for everyone to have the meetings there. Why?”

“My ex-wife, Nancy, she worked at Homeland Security. Does she still work there and, if so, has anyone spoken to her? Did I see her at all while I was there?”

“No, Agent McGee contacted her. She hasn’t seen you since your fathers’ funeral. She’s been overseas for the past month and didn’t even know you were in DC.”

“That’s good. I’m glad that she wasn’t involved at all. Did you ever meet her?”

“No, I haven’t. I wasn’t able to accompany you to your fathers’ funeral so one of our friends and teammates came with you instead.”

“We’re on a team, you and I.” John asked, puzzled. “You’re a scientist, what kind of team are we on?”

“John, you’re jumping ahead of yourself here. But, okay I supposed it won’t hurt to say this. Members of the science team often have to go out into the field, me especially. You made up regular teams of four, one scientist to three military, for protection.” Rodney explained. “As head scientist, you decided that I should be on your team. You taught me to shoot, it’s because of you that I have a firearms license. You expect all scientists in the field to be able to defend themselves and do their bit to watch their teammates sixes.”

That caught John’s interest, Rodney noted. John had cocked his head to one side and seemed to be mulling over what Rodney had just told him, he looked pleased. Although Rodney didn’t know whether he was pleased with himself for making the science staff do their bit or pleased with the science staff for actually being capable with a firearm.

Rodney tuned back to his laptop and the simulations he was running. At first, he watched John as he was writing but eventually, carried away by the data running on the screen in front of him he forgot about his surroundings and was soon lost in his own world.

******

The arrival of Gibbs and an older gentleman in a bow tie disturbed Rodney from his simulations some time later. He saved the data, locking his laptop and placing it back on the coffee table. 

He realized that neither John nor Tony were anywhere in sight and stared worriedly at Gibbs.

“They’re just outside bringing in some supplies.” Gibbs grinned at Rodney’s obviously relief. “Hey, if they’re missing I’ll be blaming DiNozzo not you, he’s the one supposed to be protecting you both.”

“Oh, oh, thank you.” Rodney replied, relieved.

“Dr McKay.” The British accent surprised Rodney. “I’m Dr Donald Mallard, the NCIS Medical Examiner and Doctor.” He walked over and held his hand out to Rodney. “Don’t stand on ceremony though, you can call me Ducky.”

Rodney grinned as he stepped forward to shake the Doctors’ hand, his mind immediately picturing Ducky’s small green and blue namesake. “Thank you for coming out to us, Ducky. 

The Doctor smiled. “I don’t suppose the kettle is on dear boy, I rather fancy a nice cup of tea after such a long journey.”

Rodney froze in panic, trying to remember the last time he’d actually made a cup of tea, or whether there was even a kettle in the kitchen. “I’ll go and look.” He stuttered as he moved quickly towards the kitchen.

There was a kettle, to Rodney’s surprise. It was sitting next to the coffee maker and Rodney swore it wasn’t their earlier. It had been filled with water and plugged in ready and Rodney realized that Tony must have prepared it while he was working on dinner. There was also a delicate china cup and saucer and a matching teapot, a caddy of loose tea and a tea strainer sat by it. Silently thanking Tony, Rodney switched the kettle on and moved on to preparing a pot of coffee as John, Tim and Tony walked into the kitchen.

‘What on earth have you got in all those bags?” He stared as they piled bag after bag onto the table. “Are you feeding the five thousand, or something.”

“We’d only need five loaves of bread and two fish if that were the case.” Tony quipped with a grin. “No, I realized we were getting short of laundry and cleaning supplies, that’s why it looks like there’s so much stuff. Also, while I don’t mind freezing leftovers I prefer to cook with fresh meat and vegetables. I enjoy making my own bread too and all those ingredients you really need to use fresh.” He turned as the kettle switched off.

“Now, if you’re making tea for Ducky it has to be done properly, the English way. When the kettle boils you need to pour some into the empty teapot and swill it around to heat the pot. Switch the kettle back on to ensure the water is boiling and empty out the water from the pot just before it switches off. Then put the tea into the pot, in this case we’re making tea for one person, so we need one scoop for Ducky and one for the pot, that makes sure that the tea is the correct strength. Then we leave it to draw for at least three minutes before we pour. Oh, and the milk needs to be poured into the cup first.” 

Rodney knew he was staring in horror. He’d thought Teyla’s tea ceremony was complicated but that was akin to making instant coffee compared to what Tony had just described. “I’ll make the coffee. I think I’ll leave you to make the tea.” He admitted in defeat.

Tony just laughed.

******

They all sat with their respective drinks and chatted, bringing each other up to date on the case. Tony returned to the kitchen and started laying the table and checking on dinner, which to Rodney, smelled heavenly, it was certainly making his stomach rumble in anticipation and he wandered over to help. To his surprise, Tony had cooked a rack of lamb, roast potatoes, carrots, cauliflower and broccoli along with a jug of gravy.

“Ah Anthony, thank you!” Ducky exclaimed as he took his seat at the table. “Your lamb is one of my favorites.”

“That’s why I chose it Ducky. Had to make it worth your while coming all the way out here.” Tony replied with a grin.

“Oh, it certainly was, dear boy.” Ducky smiled fondly at him. “You know it’s such a shame that Welsh lamb is still banned over here. You would love the quality of it, the flavor just can’t be beaten. You know, I remember before the BSE epidemic in the late 1980s, Welsh lamb and British beef, especially from the Aberdeen Angus and English Longhorn cattle was highly sought after in America.” 

Dinner passed congenially with Ducky relating stories of his childhood in Scotland. It wasn’t the sort of thing that Rodney would usually be interested in, but he had to admit, the man wove such an interesting tale that Rodney found himself caught up in the stories. Tony had found some frozen fruit in the freezer, the remains of his autumn pickings, and had made a blackberry and apple pie for dessert, served with a choice of custard or ice cream, or in some cases both.

After dinner was finished Ducky spirited John away for his examination and a change of dressing on his wound. As he had the day before, Rodney found himself helping with the clean-up in the kitchen, surprised to find that he really didn’t mind helping with the domestic chores.

Rodney returned to the living area, while Gibbs and Tim had a quiet conference call with one of their colleagues back at the Navy Yard. Tony settled down with his book while Rodney returned to his simulations.

******

Rodney didn’t know how long he had been deep in the scrolling data when he heard soft whimpering coming from the man lying on the sofa. Tony had obviously fallen asleep some time ago, his book had landed on the floor and he was turning restlessly, a look of despair on his face. Rodney slid forward and put his laptop down and, without thinking, leant over and shook him to try to rouse him. Immediately Tony came awake, springing to his feet and pulling his service weapon, aiming it straight at Rodney. 

“Stand down!” The shout came simultaneously from Gibbs and John, both men making their way quickly over, while Ducky and Tim watched in concern.

Rodney rolled his eyes and groaned at his own stupidity. Tony had lowered his weapon at the order but was tense and wild eyed. Gibbs squeezed the back of his neck and he visibly deflated, Rodney could see the tension draining from his body.

“Dammit McKay! He’s a Federal Agent, someone who carries a gun. You know better than to try and wake him up by shaking him.” John shouted.

Rodney turned and stared at John, realization setting in, he noticed that Gibbs was too.

“What?” John asked in confusion.

Gibbs gave a small smile. “What makes you think that McKay should know better.”

John opened his mouth to respond and then stopped, a look of surprise on his face as the realization of what he’d said registered. He sat suddenly, scrubbing a hand through his already messed up hair.

“I don’t know.” He stopped and thought. “The knowledge is there but the memory isn’t. Dammit.”

“Don’t punish yourself. The memory is there you just can’t connect to it at the moment.” Ducky assured him. “Try not to focus on it, it’s more likely to come back to you if you’re not trying” He patted John’s arm gently.

Gibbs just shook his head. “DiNozzo, with me.” He walked towards Tony’s room. Rodney was interested to see that he didn’t look back to see if the younger agent was following him, he just knew that he would be obeyed.

Rodney watched them go, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” John cocked his head as he watched him. “I think Gibbs is more concerned than annoyed.”

Rodney sighed and looked at him. “I hope so. I didn’t mean to get him into trouble.”

‘Rodney, DiNozzo’s been in law enforcement a long time. Nightmares are a hazard of the job for anyone in law enforcement or the military. His reaction wasn’t unusual.”

“I know!” Rodney said in annoyance. “It’s exactly how you’d react, that’s why I’m annoyed with myself. You’re right, I should have known better.” He slumped back down in his chair. “How are you doing with Gibbs anyway?”

“Good, actually.” John smiled hesitantly. “It’s kind of like a test and so far, I’m ten out of ten. You know I’ve spent time on every continent? Join the Air Force, see the world.” He turned and looked at Rodney, frowning.

“What?” Rodney looked puzzled at the scrutinization.

“I don’t know. It just seems weird knowing things about you without being able to remember you.” 

“Ah, I remember the very same thing happening to Jethro.” Ducky assured him. “The brain is beginning to make the connections, don’t force it though as you could end up with a terrible headache. Your memory will come back in time.”

“But will I remember everything, or will I have so many gaps that they’ll have to pension me off? They’re not ever going to let me fly again unless I can prove I’ve got all my memory back.”

Ducky looked at him thoughtfully. “You’re a highly trained pilot, John Sheppard. I’ve seen the list of aircraft you’re trained to fly, and I would be willing to wager that if you were put into one of those planes right now you would be able to fly any one of them instinctively. I know you’ve had a couple of black marks against you in the past but it’s very clear from what General O’Neill says that the USAF thinks very highly of you and they are not going to give you up without a fight.”

Rodney was as surprised as John. “You’ve spoken to O’Neill, he said all that?”

Ducky laughed. “General O’Neill has been more than helpful. He’s visited daily to see how the investigation is going and to offer every assistance that he can, including getting Gibbs clearance to read into all of your missions. You are obviously both very important to this operation of yours and General O’Neill is willing to go through a lot of hoops in order to ensure that you are both fit and well to carry on.”

“That’s good to know.” John replied quietly as Gibbs returned to join them.

“Tony okay?” Tim asked softly.

“Yeah, already asleep again.” Gibbs replied. “If he can actually get a good nights’ sleep, he’ll be a lot better.” He turned to Rodney. “In future, just call his surname sharply. That’s the best way to wake him.”

“Right, I’ll remember that.” Rodney hoped the hell he would. He knew he wasn’t good with words and to him, touch was comfort, and his instinct when he saw someone in distress was to reach out.

Tim yawned and it wasn’t long before they were all following suit. Knowing that there would be another early start in the morning they all headed off to bed, with Ducky taking the room upstairs and Tim taking the sofa. Rodney frowned as he followed John to their room, wondering where Gibbs was sleeping.


	6. 26 February 2012

When Rodney woke up at 06:00 the following morning he could hear quiet talking in the kitchen and made his way out for the cup of the coffee which he knew would be waiting. This time it was Gibbs, Tim and Ducky quietly talking around the table with toast and coffee, or in Ducky’s case, tea. Rodney poured himself a mug of coffee and joined them at the table.

“Morning. Not making such an early start this morning!”

“No, we don’t make Ducky get up and leave at 05:30 without any breakfast.” Tim chuckled.

“Certainly not Timothy. You should not start a long journey without any food in your stomach.” Ducky admonished. “Man cannot live on coffee alone, however much Jethro may believe he can.”

Gibbs chuckled. “I can run on coffee all day if I have to.”

“You may think you can, Jethro, but your body doesn’t function as well.” Ducky tutted. “Your brain requires nourishment to work properly.” Ducky rose and carried his plate and teacup and saucer to the sink, washing them up efficiently. “Right, I will get my things together and be ready to leave in ten minutes.” He climbed the stairs and out of view.

John came wandering out to join them, showered and dressed. “Morning, everyone up early today.”

“Apart from DiNozzo, he’s still asleep.” Gibbs grunted as he finished his coffee and rose, finishing off his piece of toast as he walked over to the sink. He poured John a cup of coffee and set the coffee machine going again, digging out travel cups for himself and Tim.

“How reliable is the coffee machine.” Rodney queried. “It’s just I noticed these past couple of days that this one gets rather a lot of use.”

“Bearing in mind you’re the one who drinks the most coffee I should think you ought to be the one replacing it if it packs up.” John smirked.

“There are a couple of cafetière in the cupboard just in case it breaks down, it’s pretty reliable though. Tony spent a small fortune on it.” Gibbs grinned.

“Oh good, good.” Rodney replied, inhaling his coffee and helping himself to the toast that Tim placed before him.

‘McKay have you got photos of members of your team or locations you were based from when you first met Sheppard?” Gibbs questioned.

Rodney frowned. “Yes, I think I should be able to find some on my laptop, why?”

“Sheppard’s memory was triggered by your actions yesterday. Ducky suggested that you could try showing him photos, without explaining anything, and see if that triggers any memories.” Gibbs explained. “Try and keep things in order though, so just photos from around the time you first met.”

“Okay, we’ll try that.” Rodney suddenly thought of something. “There are some videos we watched, games we played too.”

Gibbs filled the travel mugs and put the kettle on to make tea for Ducky while Tim finished clearing up their breakfast things.

“Are you coming back again tonight.” John asked.

“I will be. Ducky said he doesn’t need to return for a couple of days, unless anyone needs him and I’m letting McGee have an evening off.” Gibbs said with a grin. He’ll also be able to put in a full day as it does take a chunk out of the day driving back and forth.”

“Are you going to wake Tony before we leave?” Tim asked.

Gibbs frowned. “I don’t want to; he didn’t have a good night.”

That answered that question, thought Rodney.

“He’s not going to like it if you don’t.” Tim cautioned.

Gibbs glared at him and then sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll wait until we’ve packed everything up ready to go, let him sleep as long as possible.”

Ducky came back downstairs and they started gathering their bags. Gibbs and Tim took everything out and Tim drove the car around from the carport to the front door, so Ducky could get in safely. Tim climbed in as well and Gibbs was about to turn back into the cabin when Rodney saw Tony came barreling through the living area.

“Gibbs!” He called out angrily.

Gibbs turned and came back into the cabin, closing the door behind him against the chill of the dark morning.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He assured gently, catching Tony by the shoulders and, to Rodney’s surprise, pulling the younger man into his arms, running a hand down his back. “I was just about to come back in.” He pulled Tony back towards the bedroom and out of Rodney’s sight.

Rodney stood and refilled his mug, thinking carefully. Tim had told him that Tony and Gibbs had been friends for a long time, so sharing a room with a king bed didn’t mean anything. But Tony’s behavior just now had made him wonder. That hadn’t been the reaction of someone who thought their boss was leaving without saying goodbye, that was more.

Rodney realized that John was watching him carefully, assessing him.

“D’you think they’re together?” He asked John quietly.

“Would that a problem for you?” John countered with another question.

“No, no. Not to me.” Rodney replied casually. “I’ve been bisexual for years.” He watched John out of the corner of his eyes. “How about you?”

John didn’t answer and Rodney turned, leaning back against the counter to face him.

“You know the answer to that question, don’t you!” John said dangerously, more statement than question.

Rodney just cocked his head to one side, watching him. John suddenly relaxed, quirking a smile. “Yes, I think you do know the answer. Damn, you’re not going to help me here are you.”

“No. You’re going to have to remember on your own.” Rodney gave him a smug grin.

John just shook his head and laughed and for a moment, things almost seemed normal to Rodney. Then a door slammed, and Gibbs appeared, breaking the spell.

“I’m off now.” He inclined his head towards the bathroom where Tony had gone. “If he seems off try and get him to play the piano, it calms him down.”

“The piano’s tuned?” Rodney had noticed the old piano, but due to its worn state, hadn’t thought it to be in working order.

“Yeah. As DiNozzo’s often said, it isn’t quite his baby grand, but it can hold a tune.” He grinned. “Go ahead it you want to play it. I’ll see you this evening.” He slipped out of the cabin and a moment later the engine started, and the car pull away.

Rodney barely noticed. Until he’d played Madison’s piano the last time they’d stayed at Jeannie’s, he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. He walked over and lifted the lid, running a hand reverently over the worn ivory keys. He seated himself on the wooden bench and sifted through his memory for any pieces he thought he might remember. The tune that won out was a familiar one, it had been one of Jeannie’s favorite pieces and for her sixteenth birthday Rodney had bought her a little music box, in the shape of a swiss chalet, which played the tune.

Taking in a deep breath he raised his hand and launched into Beethoven’s Fur Elise. The gentle, familiar, tune washing over him as his eyes closed and his fingers skipped over the keys, remembering perfectly the tune and melody of the musical piece. He was so carried away by the music that he didn’t notice Tony’s appearance until the agent was suddenly sitting next to him on the bench.

“Fur Elise was my mother’s favorite piece of music. I always loved sitting in the music room listening to her play. She started teaching me when I was really small, but she died when I was eight and my father wouldn’t let me have lessons. It wasn’t until I was older when he sent me away to boarding school that I was able to sign up for proper lessons. My mothers’ baby grand is one of the few things I have of hers.” He said softly. “This piano belonged to Gibbs’ daughter. It was given to him when she was small as she wanted to learn to play, it’s deceptive though, it looks scruffy and unloved but actually plays really well, a much better sound than you’d expect just from looking at it. You know, you’re really good, Rodney.” 

Tony’s voice was quiet and subdued and Rodney looked up sharply. Tony looked tired and his eyes were slightly red, Rodney frowned in concern but decided to let it lie.

“I haven’t played properly in years.” He confessed. “I originally wanted to be a concert pianist, but my piano teacher told me when I was twelve that I was a fine clinical player but that I had no sense of the art, so I gave up and turned to science. I’d noticed the piano; Gibbs mentioned this morning that it was tuned and said I could play. It’s therapeutic but not really practical with what I do now.”

“You are good Rodney. I can’t believe you don’t play regularly.” John looked puzzled for a moment. “Have I heard you play? There’s something nagging me. I feel like I have.”

Rodney saw Tony looking between him and John with interest and nodded imperceptibly to Tony so John wouldn’t see. John had heard him play at Jeannie’s but admitting that would bring on a whole new round of question. Despite their earlier confessions, Rodney didn’t think John was quite ready to learn that they’d been in a relationship. He needed to remember a bit more about his own life before they started going down that road. 

He slid off the bench and walked back into the kitchen. “I think it’s about time for second breakfast, two slices of toast eaten at 06:00 will not see me through until lunch.”

“Why don’t you go and get showered and dressed and I’ll whip up some pancakes.” Tony suggested.

“Now that sounds like a plan.” Rodney beamed, turning and heading for the bathroom.

******

Tony’s pancakes were, Rodney decided, perfect. They were light and fluffy, served with fresh raspberries and blueberries, maple syrup and a swirl of the aerosol cream added at the last minute. “Do you think Gibbs would mind if I kidnap you and take you back with me as our cook.”

“I think he’d have something to say about it.” Tony countered with a grin. “There are a few other people who you might have to fight off too, I cook for everyone in our team plus a few friends on a regular basis. You’re welcome to come to dinner any time you’re in the neighborhood though, just give me enough warning so I can shop first!”

Rodney smiled and felt a fuzzy warmth settle over him. There were so few people who ever genuinely welcomed his company but, despite only knowing him for a few days, Tony had willingly invited him to dinner, at short notice, whenever Rodney was in town. Not that it was likely to happen very often, trips from the Pegasus Galaxy to DC were few and far between and not something they could do just for dinner, although Tony wasn’t to know that, so the invitation meant a lot to Rodney.

They cleared up the breakfast things between them, John washed up, Tony dried and put away and Rodney made coffee for himself, chocolate for Tony and grabbed a soda for John before setting up his laptop in the living area and scrolling through the photos. This was the serious part. John had worked his way through his childhood and his missions with the Air Force without any problems. He remembered being stationed at McMurdo and flying people back and forth to the Outpost but that was where things started getting fuzzy. It was like his brain had rejected all memories of the Stargate Program.

Rodney started in shock as a sudden thought crossed his mind. What if the reason John had forgotten all about them was due to the Ancient gene? Had the concussion switched off the gene? Could he still operate Ancient technology? He stared at John horrified and started hyperventilating.

“Rodney?” John rushed over to him and, hearing John’s anxious shout, Tony came running from the kitchen as well. “Shit, Rodney.” John grabbed the laptop away from him and pushed him upright, rubbing his shoulders. “Breathe slowly, come on.”

Rodney heard soft voices but couldn’t make out the words. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to clear his mind, a moment later a paper bag was thrust into his hands. He nodded, a paper bag, he knew what to do with a paper bag. He held it up to his face, breathing in and out as slowly as he could. Eventually he felt the panic recede and he dropped the bag and slumped boneless in the chair.

“Rodney? Rodney?” John’s voice was calling him anxiously, but he didn’t have the energy to respond. Finally, he opened his eyes and saw two pairs of eyes watching him cautiously.

“Are you okay now.” Tony asked softly. “What happened?”

“My brain went into overload. I suddenly thought of a problem and how it could turn out to be a really, really, big problem.” He thought through all the things he’d brought with him. Yes, he had the perfect test. “Wait here.”

He went into the bedroom and rummaged through his backpack for the stones he was looking for. They weren’t natural stones although they looked like any normal pretty colored gemstone. They didn’t seem to have a purpose, apart from to change color when someone with the Ancient gene touched them. The brighter the color, the stronger the gene. The stones also seemed to have a favorite color for each person. For Rodney they turned a pale greeny-brown, for John they shone a brilliant sapphire blue.

He returned to the living area. “Okay, now humor me, just humor me.” He told John. “Hold out your hand.”

John held out his right hand and Rodney placed the three stones, one by one, into the palm of his hand. To his relief, each stone turned from the greeny-brown they’d been in his hand to a brilliant sapphire blue as soon as it touched John’s skin.

“Cool, mood stones.” Tony looked fascinated. “I’ve never seen ones turn such a vivid color. And before Rodney could stop him, he’d picked up one of the stones and sat it on his own palm.

Rodney held his breath as the stone turned ice blue.

Rodney slowly picked the remaining two stones out of John’s palm and placed them in Tony’s.

They both turned the same ice blue.

“It’s such a pretty color.” Tony stared at the stones mesmerized.

“So.” John drawled. “Did your test work? Are you happy with the results? Have we passed?”

Rodney continued staring at Tony’s palm. “Yes, yes and yes.” He replied slowly, in relief. At least the gene was still strong in John and, in the process, they’d found another gene carrier.

“These are the color of Gibbs’ eyes.” Tony observed, and all of a sudden, Rodney saw it. In Tony’s hands, the stones were the color of Gibbs’ eyes. In John’s hands the stones were the color of Rodney’s. And of course, the greeny-brown color they turned in his own hands was the hazel of John’s eyes.

He took the stones back and slipped them in his pocket. “Okay, John.” He quickly changed the subject. “So are you ready to continue. You’ve got as far as being based at McMurdo, so we need to see if we can get you to remember what happened next.”

Suddenly remembering Tony, he turned to the agent. “Hmm, this is where we’re getting into confidential territory.”

“No worries.” Tony slid gracefully to his feet, grabbing his iPod. “I’m going to do some baking. Although Gibbs had me sign O’Neill’s disclosure document last night so we’re covered in case I do overhear anything.”

Rodney assessed him carefully, hoping that he wasn’t offended. But Tony seemed happy enough. Tired but calm and nowhere near as stressed as he had been earlier. He remembered Tony telling him that cooking relaxed him so maybe this was just what the man needed.

Rodney flicked to the album of photos he’d assembled earlier before placing the laptop on the table in front of them.

‘Okay, let’s get started.”

******

Rodney had made a new folder on his laptop and had saved copies of the photos taken of all the personnel who had left for Atlantis on the original mission in one sub folder. In another he’d saved photos of General O’Neill and Daniel Jackson, who had been at McMurdo on the day they had discovered that John had the Ancient gene. He’d also found a photo of the chair John had sat in on that fateful day, and an image of the chopper in which John had flown O’Neill to the base.

Rodney had hesitated over the photos of Colonel Sumner, Elizabeth Weir, Aiden Ford and Carson Beckett, along with other personnel they had lost. However, remembering that the strongest emotions were the ones most likely to trigger memories he added them to the file.

“I’ve collected together the photos of the members of our first Expedition.” Rodney explained. “There are no names, I thought we could start just with the photos. You can scroll through them in your own time and see if anyone seems familiar, or whether any of them remind you of anything.”

“Okay.” John replied cautiously. He picked up the laptop and selected the first photo. “Where’s the notepad. I don’t know if I’m going to remember anything from the photos, but I want to be able to make notes as I go along, in case I want to cross reference anything or go back to any of the photos.”

Rodney stood and fetched the notepad and a pen and sat back down with his coffee, watching.

John worked his way through the photos. Every so often he would frown, look down at his notes and then click open another photo and compare them.

Eventually, he turned to Rodney. “Can you just confirm something to me. The different colors of the uniforms mean something don’t they. Gray and black are military, I can see that from the men wearing the uniforms, they’re clearly military. Khaki and blue are obviously science as that’s what you’re wearing. There’s also khaki and yellow, now, for some reason I’m thinking that’s medical personnel?” He looked at Rodney enquiringly and Rodney nodded.

“Military and science personnel make up the majority of the mission staff, but there’s also this gray and red and grey and green, but they don’t crop up very often. In fact, I think I’ve only seen the red once so far.”

“Are you just bouncing things out loud, or are you asking me to tell you?”

“Just bouncing at the moment. Let me see if I can remember first.” He continued clicking through the remaining photos and Rodney leaned back with his coffee.

John continued clicking through the photos, one by one. After a while he frowned and looked down at his list. When Rodney had copied the photos, he’d labelled them simply, following the sequence A1, A2, etc. John had written the labels down on his pad and had noted things by each photo.

Eventually, John got to the end of the photos in the first sub-folder. He then started opening up selected items. 

Rodney looked over, his interest piqued as the number of photos increased and he realized what the connection was between them. The first photo was that of Colonel Marshall Sumner, the first person killed on the mission. The second and third were two of the military contingent, killed by Kolya, whose names Rodney couldn’t remember. The next two were scientists, Rodney remembered Abrams and Gall clearly. Similarly, the five scientists who died from the nanite virus. The last two photos were Markham and Smith, killed by a Wraith dart. Rodney shook his head in dismay.

“John, do you know the significance of these photos, these people?” He asked cautiously.

John stared solemnly at him. “They’re all dead aren’t they.” It was more a statement than a question. 

Rodney nodded sadly. “Yes. Do you remember anything about them or how they died?”

John sighed, looking back at the laptop and the pictures of the men and women staring back at him. “Honestly? I haven’t a clue. It’s like … it’s teasing me, at the edge of my consciousness. You know what it’s like when you can almost remember something, but it just won’t come to mind.” He stared back at the list, then pulled up the photos of Elizabeth Weir, Carson Beckett and Aiden Ford. “These three are puzzling me. It’s like my mind is at odds with itself, it can’t work out whether these are dead or alive.” 

“Actually, there’s a good reason for that. It’s nothing your mind is doing wrong. There were, incidents I suppose you could call them, that would make your mind get confused. “Why don’t you close this folder down and go to the other one.” He suggested.

John clicked back noting that there were only four photos in the second folder. He clicked the first open and sat staring at the man in the picture. “I know this man. I’ve seen him recently; he was older than this.” He put the laptop down and stood up, pacing around the living area, finally coming to a stop by the window, staring out over the river.

“John?” Rodney was quickly by his side. “Are you okay?”

“I just want time to think. I’m recognizing that I know people and, apparently, I remember that some of them are dead. But I can’t name them or tell you how they died. I still don’t remember anything about the mission either.” John’s voice was rising in frustrating.

“John, it’s alright.”

“Damn it, Rodney, it’s not alright?” John shouted, slamming his fist against the wall. “How can it be alright? This is my life; my career; everything I ever wanted to do; and it could all be over. Just like that.” He turned suddenly and stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

The alarm went off as soon as the door opened, making Rodney jump and sending Tony running over to the alarm panel, leaving a trail of flour across the room. Rodney stared at him, not knowing what to do or say. With quick look of apology, Tony also disappeared out of the door.

Rodney slumped to the floor and pulled his legs up to his chest. Hot tears burned his eyes and he buried his head in his arms, ready to give in to his despair. Images flashed through his mind. John sitting in the chair at McMurdo, with the galaxy swirling around his head, staring up in amazement. Atlantis rising from the deep and the look of awe in John’s eyes seeing the tall, majestic spires from the balcony for the first time. Returning through the stargate from a hundred different missions, sometimes ecstatic when a mission had gone well, sometimes, terrified when one of their lives was on the line.

“No!” He raged out loud to the empty cabin, scrambling to his feet. “You’re not giving up John Sheppard, this is not just your decision to make. We’ve been in this together for eight years and I’m not giving up on you, on us, now!” He wrapped his arms around himself in a self-hug, closing his eyes and breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down, trusting Tony to corral John and bring him back to the cabin. Eventually, he took one, long, deep breath and let it out slowly. Opening his eyes, he walked over to the windows overlooking the deck, his anxiety fading a little when he saw the two men sitting out on the steps.

He forced himself to stand still. His body wanting to nothing more than to walk out there and take John into his arms. But John wasn’t his, not at the moment, he had to give John time and wait for him to come back on his own, it had to be John’s choice. 

He stood for long moments, just staring outside at the two men on the steps. An alarm sounding in the kitchen caught his attention and he realized it was the oven timer. He made his way over to the kitchen and hesitantly opened the oven, inhaling with pleasure the smell of freshly cooked bread. He quickly located the potholders and removed the bread from the oven, setting it on the stand he’d seen Tony use the day before. 

Not knowing what to do next, he poured himself a cup of coffee and returned to the living area, picking up John’s notes and starting to read.

******

Raised voices caught Rodney’s attention as the door opened.

“For goodness sake, why the hell didn’t you say something sooner.” John fumed. “Now go and take a long, hot shower and put on your warmest clothes and come back out here. I’ll put more logs on the fire so it’s nice and warm. Go. Now!”

John pushed Tony back towards the bedrooms. To Rodney’s amusement, Tony obeyed the order without complaint.

“Dammit, he’s had the plague, has damaged lungs and is susceptible to pneumonia and bronchitis. And he doesn’t tell me until we’ve been sitting outside, without coats, for half an hour!” John fumed, throwing fresh logs on the fire and stoking the gentle flames until the fire was blazing again. “Gibbs is going to kill me if he gets sick.”

He flung himself down into one of the chairs and turned to Rodney. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you by running out like that. I’m just not used to sitting around and this is really beginning to bug me. However, I do remember that the person in the last photo is General Jack O’Neill. It came to me just after I stormed out, probably what stopped me from running off, well, that and the alarm. I didn’t realize it was even set.”

Rodney smiled back. “Hey, that’s progress.” He leaned forward eagerly. “Your memory will come back John, you have to believe it. We’ve gone through too much together to give up this easily. I will do whatever I can to help.”

John nodded, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I just wish I could do something. I guess you know that I’m the sort of person who goes out and makes something happen. I can’t just sit around waiting for it to happen, that’s just not who I am!” 

They heard the shower shut off and Rodney stood. “I’ll make him a hot drink; do you want something?”

“Coffee would be good. I reckon we’ll have to think about making our own lunch and dinner today though.” He followed Rodney into the kitchen.

“Well, there’s already some kind of meat sauce heating and I took some bread out of the oven while you were outside. I think this is homemade tagliatelle here too, so at least Gibbs won’t kill us because there’s no dinner.” Rodney replied ruefully, stirring cocoa into some milk and putting it in the microwave to heat up.

John stood at the hob and gave the sauce a stir. “How long do you think this needs to cook for?”

“It should simmer on low for the rest of the afternoon. Just give it an occasional stir. Ragu needs time to develop the best flavor.” Tony commented, wandering into the kitchen bundled up in a thick, red, USMC hoodie, navy NCIS sweats and thick socks. “Thanks for taking the bread out, Rodney, I’d completely forgotten that was still in the oven.” He picked up the tin and removed the loaf, tapping the bottom a few times and nodding to himself.

“Go and sit down by the fire, you’re still shivering.” Rodney noted with concern. “Go on, I’ll bring your chocolate over in a minute.”

Rodney shook his head, grinning at John, as Tony rolled his eyes, although he obediently went and curled up on the sofa, pulling one of the soft, fleece, throws around him. Rodney added the cream and marshmallows to the chocolate and carried it over to him, while John followed with the coffee.

“Is there anything else you need, Tony. Any meds or anything you should be taking?” John really was concerned now, Rodney could see that, at least it was taking John’s mind off his own troubles.

“Damn, I should’ve brought my inhaler out. It’s in the bedroom.”

“Whereabouts?” John asked, already halfway across the room.

To Rodney’s amusement, Tony blushed. “Top drawer of the nightstand on the far side of the bed.” He admitted, dropping his head in embarrassment. “Oh, and you can stop grinning.” He looked at Rodney sheepishly. “I gave myself away with that performance this morning, didn’t I?”

Rodney nodded. “Just slightly, although I already had my suspicions. How long have you two been together?”

“Since 2001, when I started working with him.” Tony sighed. “We worked together on a case in Baltimore, I was with Baltimore PD at the time, found out on the case that my partner was a dirty cop. Gibbs offered me a job at NCIS, and I took it.” He grinned. “To be honest I fell for him the first time I looked into his eyes but, hell, he’s a Marine, I didn’t think he’d be interested. Anyway, I had trouble finding a place I could afford in DC and Gibbs let me stay with him until I could find somewhere.” He broke off, looking a little embarrassed. “Typically, I had nightmares from the first night I was there, change always unsettles me a little. Gibbs was great. He was so matter of fact about it, didn’t make me feel awkward, or push me to talk until I was ready. Made me feel safe, I hadn’t felt safe since I was a small kid when my mother was alive.” He finished softly, staring down into his mug.

Rodney looked up at John, who had come back into the living room just in time to hear Tony’s story. He was filled with sympathy but didn’t know what to say, he hated being so bad with people. 

John squeezed the back of Tony’s neck as he handed over the inhaler. “I’m sorry this is bringing up bad memories.”

Rodney suddenly realized the full implications of what Tony had said. “So, the two of you were together before Gibbs had amnesia and left NCIS?” He asked horrified.

“Yes.” Tony said simply. “They were the worst months of my life. Even when he returned, he didn’t come back for me. Firstly, he came back to help Ziva and then stayed to help his friend whose daughter had been kidnapped. It was several months before he remembered our relationship.” He stopped and shook his head. “It wasn’t a good time.”

Rodney noticed that John was glaring at him and realized that he’s just made things worse for Tony. He swore under his breath, kicking himself mentally for being such an idiot and wondering how the hell he could make it up to him. He watched as John gave Tony’s neck one last squeeze, taking the empty mug from him.

“Unless you need anything else, why don’t you lie down and rest.” At Tony’s nod, John stood, grabbing the other throw from the chair and laying it over him.

Rodney stood up, an idea coming to mind. He walked over to the piano and, starting with Brahms’ Lullaby, proceeded to play some of the pieces he used to play to put Jeannie to sleep when she was a little girl.

******

It didn’t take Tony long to fall asleep, but Rodney continued to play for a while, just enjoying the sheer freedom of being able to play without having to worry about anything else he should be doing. He could hear John clearing up in the kitchen from where Tony had dropped everything to chase after him.

He finally stopped playing when his stomach started rumbling and he wandered into the kitchen, hearing John talking quietly on the phone.

With a reluctant look at the freshly baked bread, he took the remains of the previous days’ loaf and cut several slices, hunting in the fridge for the fixings for sandwiches and finding several slices of roast ham and salad. He put the sandwiches together and shared a packet of chips between them.

John ended his call and grabbed a couple of bottles of water. As he sat down, Rodney looked at him enquiringly. 

“I thought I better call Gibbs and let him know about Tony, in case he wanted to bring Ducky back, I also thought it would give him time to yell at me now so he had time to calm down by the time he got here.”

“Was it bad?” Rodney asked sympathetically.

“Not too bad. From what Gibbs said it sounds like a typical DiNozzo thing to do. Apparently, Gibbs and Ducky are on first name terms with the consultant at Bethesda who treated Tony’s plague and sees him whenever he has an issue with his lungs. He’s happy to issue Ducky with a prescription for Tony as a precaution. We did the right thing though. Hot shower, hot drink and bundle him up in front of the fire, then plenty of fluids. Gibbs did chuckle at you playing lullabies on the piano to get him to sleep.” John grinned as he picked up his sandwich.

“You never did look at the rest of the photos in the second folder.” Rodney licked his fingers clean as he finished his chips. “Do you want to carry on once we’ve finished lunch, or would you rather call it a day for today?”

“No, I want to carry on. It’s there, I know it is. Teasing me around the edges of my mind. Like with O’Neill, for example, I put a name to the face and there are little things just buzzing around inside my head, but I just can’t grasp them, flashes of scenes that don’t make sense.” He looked thoughtful, staring at Rodney.

“What?” Rodney demanded.

“It’s the same with you, thoughts on the edge of my memory that I can’t get a lock on. Something I’m missing. I don’t want to ask though; I want to remember myself. I think it’s important that I remember myself.”

“Okay. Well, there’s more I can show you, not just photos either. I have a few things in mind. We’ll finish going through the photos first though.”

‘I want to go through all the other photos again too. There are names floating through my mind and I want to see if any of them go with the faces.”

They finished their lunch and cleared up quickly. Rodney collected the laptop and John’s notes while John added some logs to the fire and checked on the sleeping agent.

“Did you happen to notice if he still had his gun after he showered?” John asked thoughtfully. “Technically, he’s officially on protection duty so he should be carrying it, but if he isn’t it should be locked away.”

“I have no idea. The Beretta they issued me with is the lockbox on the side there.” Rodney pointed to the box on the shelf between the kitchen and living room. “We’re not likely to need it though are we, I mean, we’re pretty safe here.”

“The alarm wasn’t set again though, was it. DiNozzo had to disable it when I ran out and he came back in before me.”

“Damn, is the door even locked?”

“M‘wake.” The hoarse, sleepy voice muttered as Tony raised his head. “Yes, I have my gun and no I didn’t re-set the alarm. I’ll do it now; I need to get up.” He made an effort to untangle himself from the blankets without success and John quickly moved over to assist. Grabbing his arm when he wobbled.

“Damn.” Tony exclaimed. “Everything went fuzzy for a moment there. Okay, let’s get the alarm first, Gibbs will shoot me himself if he gets here and finds I’ve left the place vulnerable.” He shuffled slowly to the door and re-set the alarm, with John following closely in case he lost his balance.

“How are you feeling?” John asked, reaching out to feel his forehead. Tony tolerated it patiently.

“I’m warm enough now! I could use a drink though. As Ducky is often taken to pointing out, cranberry juice has almost as high vitamin C content as orange juice, so I’d better have some of that. I wouldn’t mind something to eat too. I’m not that hungry but my stomach is asking for something.”

“Why don’t you go and sit down, and I’ll bring you something over.”

“Thanks, but I need to hit the head.” Tony replied with a grimace, making his way across the room a quickly as he could.

John returned to where Rodney was putting together a sandwich for Tony, trimming the crusts off and carefully cutting the sandwich into small, bite-size triangles. John laughed and went in search of the cranberry juice.

“Lullabies, Rodney?” Tony questioned as he shuffled into the kitchen, peered at his ragu and gave it a stir before dropping into the nearest chair.

“It used to work on my sister.” Rodney shrugged nonchalantly.

“And the sandwiches?” He pulled a face as he stared at the small triangles.

“Again, how my sister liked them when she was poorly.”

“How old was your sister at the time?”

“About six.” Rodney blinked innocently at him. While John burst into laughter at the exchange.

Rodney looked over smiling happily. It was the first time he’d heard John really laugh out loud since he’d woken. He caught John’s eye and found John staring at him thoughtfully. Suddenly self-conscious, Rodney looked away and found Tony watching them both knowingly.

“So, what happened to my brownie mixture?” Tony asked, coughing slightly at the cold juice.

Rodney let out a sigh of relief at the change of subject.

“Is that what it was? I covered it over and put it on the window ledge as it’s a bit cooler over there.” John admitted.

“That might work. Can you set the oven to 360°, when it’s hot, put the tin in the oven and bake for 40 minutes. It’s my usual recipe and should be perfectly cooked in that time. When it comes out, leave it in the tin and cut it into squares when it’s cooled down a bit.” Tony instructed, finishing off his juice and holding the glass out. “Can I have some grape juice this time.” He smiled sweetly at John, making Rodney shake his head and chuckle.

“I’ll bring it over. You go back to the sofa.” Tony rolled his eyes but did as he was told. Rodney was intrigued. This kind of behavior was typical of John when Rodney wasn’t well, and he was interested to see John extending the same type of care to Tony. Rodney just wasn’t sure whether Tony was doing what he was told simply because he was feeling too rough to argue or whether he was used to the same type of behavior from Gibbs.

Once John had ensured Tony was wrapped up warmly on the sofa he returned to the kitchen, popping the baking tin in the heated oven as he passed and setting the timer on his watch. “Right, let’s have a look at those photos again.”

Rodney unlocked the laptop to the photo of Jack O’Neill and John grinned. I’m beginning to get vague flashes of memory. I know I’ve spent time with him, and not just at the meetings. He’s, maybe mentored me in the past? I get that kind of feeling looking at his picture.”

“You’re right. He was the one who brought you into the mission, asked you to join the project. He’s mentored you on a few occasions. Specifically, when you first joined the project and again, when you were promoted from Major to Lieutenant Colonel. You’ve gone to him for advice at other times too.”

John nodded. “That feels right. What’s next?” He clicked on the next photo of Daniel Jackson. “I know him too.” He frowned, clicking back open the photo of O’Neill. “They’re connected, and not just by the project. He’s not military though, scientist?” He turned to Rodney.

“Yes, and yes. They are connected and he is a scientist.”

“That’s all you’re going to tell me, isn’t it?”

“Yup. I’m not going to give too much away yet. I want to see what you can remember on your own.”

“Fair enough.” He opened the next photo. “Woah, what happened there?” The picture was fuzzy, having been taken by a long-range security camera, but clear enough to see John and O’Neill, crouched down beside a landed chopper with an obvious explosion in the background.

“That’s Antarctica. McMurdo Base. I flew O’Neill to the Outpost, and something tried to blow us out of the air.” He grinned at Rodney and Rodney knew he was beaming back at him. “Dammit, what the hell was that thing!”

He opened the final photo in the second file and breathed in sharply, staring at the screen. “I sat in this.” He said hesitantly. “You were there, you told me to picture the galaxy and it made the planets swirl in the air above me.” He turned to Rodney in amazement.

“You made the planets swirl around in the air.” Rodney corrected dreamily, full of admiration. “Your recall of the galaxy was perfect. Every planet, sun, moon, star, everything was in the right place and perfectly to scale. It was incredible. Even after all this time, I can still remember exactly how I felt when I saw it.” 

John grinned at him as the timer on his watch went off and he stood to remove the brownies from the oven. “You really are something else, Rodney.”

Rodney laughed happily, finally feeling like some of the weight pressing on his chest had been lifted. He rose to his feet, deciding that fresh coffee was required. After all, they really needed to check that the brownies were cooked perfectly.

******

With their coffee and still slightly warm brownies John and Rodney sat back down at the table in front of the laptop. Rodney watched with interest as John looked through his list of comments and selected several photos, which he opened and arranged on the screen so that he could see them all.

“This was a mission.” He started slowly. “We were going somewhere, and we didn’t know what to expect. I tossed a coin to decide whether to go or not.” He looked over at Rodney looking for confirmation, so Rodney nodded.

He tapped the photo of Elizabeth. “She was a leader. In charge. She wasn’t military though; she was a civilian leader.” He frowned and looked over at Rodney. “You were head of the science team.” He stopped and still frowning, looked back at the photos. “The military team are all Marines. He was their leader. There aren’t any other Air Force personnel amongst any of the photos in this file.” He looked questioningly at Rodney.

“No, you were the only one.” Rodney confirmed.

“Because of what happened with that chair.”

“Yes.”

“I’d been flying people and supplies back and forth from the McMurdo Base to the Outpost for months, but I’d never been inside. But when I flew O’Neill, he actually took me inside, told me not to touch anything, but I went and sat in the chair and all hell broke loose.” He was completely lost in thought and Rodney almost held his breath. They were getting somewhere, and he didn’t want John to lose his train of thought.

John flicked through to the other folder and opened one of the photos. “This is Daniel Jackson, you two were the ones who got really excited when I sat in the chair, that’s when you told O’Neill you wanted me on the mission. He and O’Neill are a couple, I had dinner with them while I was in DC.”

He closed the photo of Daniel and tapped back on the photo of Elizabeth. “She was the leader of the mission, a diplomat, negotiator. Elizabeth?” He queried.

Rodney nodded. “That’s right.”

“This guy here, he was the military leader. He didn’t like me very much did he. Why do I think that I killed him, what did he do?” He looked over at Rodney, puzzled and dismayed.

Rodney knew he had to answer that one. “He was dying, slowly and painfully, there was no hope for him, he pleaded with you to end it quickly. You shot him to end his suffering. There was a witness, one of his Marines, who confirmed it.” Rodney was grateful to see that John accepted his reply. John had already been on the guilt trip for that particular incident, Rodney didn’t want a repeat.

“Why can’t I remember his name.” John muttered, staring at the photo.

Rodney stood and refilled their mugs, remembering to give the sauce a stir at the same time. “I’m not going to tell you anything unless you specifically ask me to.”

“No, no, that’s fine. I want to try and remember myself.” He moved on to another photo.

“He’s a doctor. Scottish? Or am I thinking of Ducky, he’s Scottish. It seems right though.”

“He is, you’re right.”

“He got blown up. But this is where I’m confused. He was dead, but he’s alive, I’m sure of it!”

“It’s a confusing one. I’m not going into details, you’re not ready for that yet. But you are right. He was in an explosion but, he is alive. Just let that one lie for the moment.”

“Lieutenant Aiden Ford. He was on our team, but we lost him. I had to tell his family that he was MIA. He was a good kid, keen, full of enthusiasm.”

“Yes.” Rodney agreed sadly. “I liked him.”

“This guy.” John indicated another photo. “He was another who wasn’t keen on me. He was a Sergeant.” He stopped and thought. “Bates? I can’t remember his first name though.

“This is Radek, he’s your second in command, he’s what? Czech?”

Rodney beamed. “Radek Zelenka. Crazy, but a genius.”

“But not quite as much of a genius as you.” John chuckled.

“It’s coming back to you now.”

“Yeah, the people are but I still can’t recall anything about the mission, or what the hell we’ve been doing for the past eight years.”

“Give it time. Too much, too soon, would just be overload.” Gibbs’ sudden comment made both of them jump. They’d been so caught up in what they were doing that they hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Shit, Gibbs. You just about gave me a heart attack.” Rodney clutched his chest dramatically.

Gibbs grinned, pouring himself a coffee and holding the pot out to refill Rodney’s mug. John shook his head. He grabbed a brownie and sat down at the table. “It sounds like things are going well.”

“Yes, I think we’re getting there slowly.” John replied. Every time I go back and look at the photos, I’m remembering things about the people, just not the mission itself.”

“It’s a start.” Gibbs shrugged. “You can re-learn things, but it’s difficult to re-learn people. You’re starting from scratch, but they have years of shared memories with you that you don’t remember and that can hurt.” He said sadly.

“Yeah, Tony told us.” Rodney replied awkwardly.

“He gave himself away with that performance this morning, didn’t he?” Gibbs shook his head with a grin, then sighed. “It was a bad time for him. I did try and persuade him to let McGee take on your protection detail, but he wanted to do this. I don’t think he realized how unsettled it would make him.”

“He always put other people before himself?” John asked.

Gibbs nodded. “Gets himself into trouble way too often because of it.”

“Hmm, I know someone like that too.” Rodney grumbled, standing to give the sauce a stir. “How long do you think before this is ready? It’s been torture sitting here smelling it all afternoon.”

“If it’s been on that long it’ll be ready whenever we are. The pasta’s fresh so will only take a couple of minutes to cook. How long’s he been asleep?”

“He had a sandwich and some juice about 14:00 and has been asleep ever since.” John replied.

“I’ll wake him up. He needs to take his meds anyway and for that he needs to eat something. I’ll cook the pasta when I’ve sorted him out.”

Rodney watched as Gibbs walked through and sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa. He leaned close and called Tony and the younger man woke up immediately, Gibbs then reached out and stroked Tony’s head and Rodney saw Tony lean into the touch. It was such an intimate, tender, interaction that Rodney turned away, feeling like he was intruding. As he turned, he realized that John was watching them too, although he looked far away, as if it wasn’t actually the men in the living room he was seeing.

******

As Rodney discovered, Gibbs knew exactly how to cook Tony’s pasta to perfection. With the exception of Tony, they had all had seconds, followed by coffee and brownies. Tony had managed a small portion of the pasta and sauce, along with some juice but by the time they had finished he was clearly flagging. Gibbs helped him back to the sofa, while John put more logs on the fire.

Rodney couldn’t help laughing to himself as the way the two military men were fussing around their patient. He’d been on the receiving end of such treatment from John on so many occasions and it was bad enough with one person making him sit still and not letting him do anything, he could only imagine the frustration of having two of them fussing over him.

They left Tony on the sofa and returned to the kitchen to clear up. It had surprised Rodney that with all the mod cons the cabin had, the one thing it didn’t have was a dishwasher, he mentioned it to Gibbs.

“When I fitted the kitchen out, I never thought that anyone staying here would want to do much in the way of cooking, so I didn’t bother.” He laughed. “I did ask Tony a while ago if he wanted me to find space for one somewhere, but he wasn’t worried. He uses cooking as a way to de-stress and relax and I think the clearing up afterwards is all part of it.”

“Hmm, I suppose that makes sense.” Rodney considered. “I’m not a great fan of any kind of housework but when I’m being fed this well, I really don’t mind helping clear up!”

John laughed at him and Rodney smiled. The tension between them had diminished considerably over the course of the day, much to Rodney’s relief. He’d noticed John watching the interaction between Gibbs and Tony as well, noting the ease and comfortable companionship between the two men. John had also been giving Rodney quizzical looks and Rodney wondered what look had been showing on his face.

“So, what’s the plan for this evening?” Rodney asked. “Do you want to carry on or take a break?”

“Have a break, I think. A little space away from it all might help. I’ve got a few things I want to ask Gibbs about too.”

“Okay, are you two going to stay in here?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Gibbs opened the fridge and pulled out three beers, anyone want one? Ducky said that you’re cleared to drink now.”

“Thanks Ducky!” John replied with a grin.

Gibbs cracked the caps and Rodney took his beer into the living area and powered up the laptop. Realizing the charge was low he headed to the bedroom to get his charger, detouring to the bathroom on the way. He returned to the living area, smiling in amusement at the tail end of the conversation he could hear.

“Oh, c’mon guys!” Tony cried. “I only wanted to get a drink; I do not need two military alphas mother-henning me.” Rodney laughed at the two identical feral glares pointed Tony’s way and at the way he gave in, sighing dramatically and sitting down again. “Okay, okay. I’m sitting. By the fire. Wrapped in a blanket, or even two blankets. Anything else? Am I even allowed to get up to use the head or do I have to wet myself, because I’m pretty sure you forgot to bring diapers.”

Rodney bit his lip and tried to stifle his laughter as he sat down. Gibbs and John were both glaring at a pouting Tony, who was looking more like a four-year-old than a forty-odd year-old Federal Agent.

“Do you need the head?” Gibbs asked menacingly.

“No.” Came the petulant response.

Rodney rolled his eyes. He had a feeling that the answer would have been no even if Tony did need to go, which was probably why Gibbs was assessing him so carefully.

Eventually Gibbs looked away, apparently satisfied with Tony’s answer. Walking into the kitchen, he returned with a large glass of cranberry juice.

“Drink.” Came the order.

“You’re just going to try and make me pee my pants now aren’t you.” Tony retorted grumpily, although Rodney observed that he drained the glass obediently and held it back out to Gibbs.

“You need to go potty you say so. Got it?” Gibbs told him firmly but gently.

“Got it, Boss.”

Rodney noticed that Tony got a raised eyebrow at his response.

“Jethro.” Tony amended, blushing softly.

Gibbs gave him a quick nod of approval, before returning to the kitchen and sitting at the table with John.

Tony looked over at Rodney, who tried to wipe the grin off his face, without success.

“Don’t you start.” Tony grumbled. Wrapping himself back up in his blankets and lying down.

“How about a bedtime story?” Rodney asked innocently, reacting quickly to intercept the sofa cushion which came flying in his direction.

******

Rodney immersed himself in the selection of the next group of photographs. He’d found several of Teyla in her traditional Athosian dress but wanted to find one with her in the Atlantis uniform. Until John remembered Atlantis or the Stargate System, he didn’t want to show him any pictures where were clearly alien, such as the Wraith, or the City herself.

The command center and locations within the City were different, although some of the areas looked futuristic, there was nothing to indicate they hadn’t been conceived on Earth.

On a whim, he included photos of Jeannie, Kaleb and Madison. Right from the start John had got on well with Jeannie and, later on, with Kaleb and Madison too. In turn, Madison adored her Uncle John. He also added photos of John’s brother Dave and his wife and family, just to balance things out. He wasn’t sure if John even remembered that his brother was married with a family.

He was tempted to add a picture of John’s favorite Puddlejumper, just to see what John’s reaction was. He sat for a while with the photo open, debating whether or not to include it. The ‘jumper was just sitting on a sandy beach in the photo, with nothing to indicate what it actually was so in the end, he added it to the folder.

The next photo which caught his attention was one which made him smile. Someone, he thought it was Radek, had caught him and John in action with their remote-controlled cars in the corridor outside one of the labs. They were both relaxed and laughing, clearly having fun and enjoying each other’s company. It was one of his favorite photos of the two of them and he had a copy framed on the wall in his quarters.

He looked up, suddenly aware of a pair of sleepy green eyes watching him. “Are you okay?”

“Is Gibbs around, I need to get up.” Tony groaned, pushing himself up to a sitting position.

Looking round, Rodney realized that neither Gibbs nor John were in view.

“Uh, no. I have no idea where they are.” He answered, honestly.

“Damn, I really need to hit the head.” Tony winced, sliding his legs to the floor.

“Come on then.” Rodney stood and held out his hand. “I think the point they were making was about you trying to move around on your own. You’re a little feverish and pretty wobbly at the moment. As long as you let me help you, they can’t really complain.”

Tony chuckled, grasping on to Rodney’s hand. “It’s either accept that or they’ll have a whole load of washing to do, ‘cause there’s no way I can wait.”

******

“You know I think John’s beginning to wonder about his relationship with you.” Tony said quietly, as he washed his hands. “I’ve noticed him watching Gibbs with me and then looking at you, as if he can see a similarity in the relationship.”

“Well, he certainly has the same mother-hen deal going.” Rodney laughed. “When we were talking earlier, he remembered that Jack O’Neill and his scientist, Daniel Jackson were in a relationship. Hmm, he hasn’t mentioned anything about the repeal of DADT, maybe I need to bring that up somehow as he probably doesn’t remember that either.”

“Of course, that’ll make a big difference to the way he views your relationship.” Tony looked around as they walked back to the sofa. “Where the hell have they got to?”

Rodney shrugged. “We’ll give them a few minutes before we send out the search party.”

“What you?” Tony commented with a weak grin.

“Yes, very funny. You can’t even stand on your own at the moment so it can hardly be you.” Rodney rolled his eyes. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Yeah, some grape juice, please, and a brownie if there are any left.” He added hopefully.

It was another ten minutes before Gibbs and John appeared from outside. They were both wrapped up and carried beers in their hands. Rodney looked up and smiled, observing that both men looked relaxed and happy. He and Tony were both seated on the sofa and had been watching one of Tony’s old movies. Tony had curled up again and had his head resting on Rodney’s shoulder, half asleep again already.

Gibbs laughed. “Perhaps we better get sleepy-head to bed.” He plucked the empty glass out of Tony’s hand and helped him up, supporting him as he led him away.

Rodney looked up at John. “What were you two up to?”

“Gibbs was just showing me around outside. Have you seen the hot tub out on the side deck?”

“To be honest, I haven’t really seen anything outside. I know the car port is adjacent to the kitchen and our bedroom, and the river is out the front, but I haven’t seen anything else.”

“The deck out the front and down the side is covered, down the end, level with their bedroom is the hot tub, the side door under the stairs leads out to it. Gibbs built it and walls around it so it’s only open looking towards the river.

Gibbs thinks they’re close to finding who killed those marines and attacked me. He’s offered to let us to stay here for a few days after they’ve tied up all the loose ends, just so we can enjoy a few days away from everything and relax before we have to leave.”

“Do you know what, I hadn’t even thought about the case today. What will happen if you still haven’t regained your memory.” Rodney bit his lip in concern.

“O’Neill has it in hand, apparently. I don’t know whether Gibbs has made my memory seem better than it currently is, but O’Neill is willing to work with me to ensure I’m fully briefed to carry on in my current position. I will have to requalify for my firearms certificate, and I’ll have to do some test flights to ensure I’m still fit to fly but, I don’t know, O’Neill seems to have complete confidence in me, which is more than I have in myself at the moment.”

“He’s a good man. We owe a lot to him and to Daniel. I’m glad DADT was repealed last year so that they can be together without having to hide it anymore.”

“Gibbs did tell me about that. One of the things he’s been working on with me is bringing me up to date with military regs.” He stared off into the distance. “We’ve made some good friends here. Gibbs and his team have gone over and above for us, they’re that kind of people. We are lucky to have them on our case.”

“We’ll have to do something to thank them.” Rodney agreed as he picked up his laptop and they made their way to the bedroom.


	7. 27 February 2012

When Rodney woke up the next morning, he realized that he had no idea what day it was, let alone what date. The isolated and laid-back way of life over the past few days had completely thrown him, he felt almost distanced from reality.

He climbed out of bed, realizing that for the first time since they had arrived that John was up before him, meaning things were getting back to what Rodney considered to be normal. Although, at 06:30 it was still early from his point of view. Usually if he was up at this time of the morning it was because he hadn’t actually made it to bed at all.

Knowing that he didn’t need to rush, he showered and dressed, before wandering out to the kitchen, finding Gibbs and John chatting while they worked on breakfast.

“How’s Tony?” Rodney asked, pouring himself a mug of coffee and sitting at the table, trying to work out what his companions were preparing.

“Feverish during the night, very restless, bad dreams. I hope he didn’t wake you. He calmed down around 04:00. He had his meds at 02:00 and he’s been sleeping since around 03:00.” Gibbs replied as he pulled out a couple of pans. “He’ll be pretty weak and tired today but thanks to you getting him in and warmed up so quickly, he should shake it off within a couple of days. He’s resilient, thank goodness, he goes down hard but soon gets over it once he starts these meds, they do make him a little loopy and out of it though, so watch out.” 

“Are you going into work today?” It was late for Gibbs, Rodney realized, and he’d wondered if Gibbs were staying home with Tony.

“Yes, I will be. I don’t want to leave until he’s awake, but I want him to sleep a bit longer before I wake him. He’s due his next dose of meds at 08:00 so I’ll leave after that. McGee’s got a lead so he and one of the agents we’ve been been working with are going out to Quantico this morning to bring him in for interrogation.”

“I just wish I could remember what happened, it’s still a complete blank.” John shook his head in frustration.

“If this lead pans out I’ll get you a recording of the interrogation, see if his face or voice seem familiar to you.”

Gibbs flipped slices of egg-soaked bread from a dish into the pans he had on the heat and Rodney sighed in contentment when he realized they were having French toast for breakfast. He finished his coffee and got up to get the juice out of the fridge. John set plates out and added halved strawberries, along with raspberries and blueberries and Gibbs added slices of golden-brown French toast to the plates.

They all dug in, enjoying the food, eventually Gibbs went to wake Tony while John cooked up a couple more slices. Rodney made a fresh pot of coffee, filling Gibbs’ travel mugs before pouring coffee for himself and John and juice for Tony. It wasn’t long before Gibbs returned to the kitchen with a very sleepy Tony, depositing him at the table. “These are his antibiotics, he needs to take them every six hours, so the next dose at 14:00 then 20:00, if I’m not back. He should take them with or before food or two hours after. Right I need to go, have a good day.” He ruffled Tony’s hair, dropping a light kiss on his temple, grabbed his coffee and left.

John dished up Tony’s breakfast, cutting the toast into bite-sized pieces, much to Rodney’s amusement, and adding a few pieces of fruit. Tony clearly wasn’t fully awake and frowned, almost drunkenly, at John when he sat the plate in front of him, without making any move to eat it.

“You’ve just had your meds; you need to eat something.” John sat beside Tony, talking to him patiently. Tony just stared back. “You’re really not with it are you.” John chuckled, picking up the fork and spearing a raspberry and piece of French toast and waving it in Tony’s face. Tony obediently opened his mouth and ate what was on the fork.

Rodney stood, suppressing a grin, and wandered off to clean his teeth before he started laughing out loud.

******

Once the breakfast things had been cleared up and Tony settled on the sofa in front of the fire, Rodney and John sat down again at the kitchen table. John started looking through his notes while Rodney logged into his laptop.

“I want to go back over those original photos again to start off with, the ones I was looking at yesterday.”

The photos John had been looking at the previous day were still open on the screen, so Rodney passed it over.

“I know these people.” He pointed in turn to the photos. “Elizabeth Weir, Expedition Leader. Colonel Marshall Sumner, Military Commander. Dr Carson Beckett, Head of the Medical Department. Sergeant Dean Bates, Head of Security. Lieutenant Aiden Ford, was on our team, went MIA. Dr Radek Zelenka, Czech scientist, your second in command, also a genius. You tease, argue and frustrate the hell out of each other, but are great friends. There’s no photo here but I had a second in command too, Major Evan Lorne, I don’t think he was there at the beginning though.” John sat back thinking.

“No, he wasn’t. Air Force personnel only joined us the second year”

“I was Sumner’s second in command, as the second highest ranking officer on the Expedition. When Sumner died, I had to take over.” John looked puzzled again. “I remember these people, but I just don’t remember anything about the Expedition. I am right about it being an Expedition, rather than just a series of missions?”

Rodney nodded.

“Okay, so that indicates that we were going off exploring somewhere. We didn’t have immediate backup. That’s why I ended up as Military Commander, even though I was only a Major at the time. Evan Lone then came later as my second in command after I was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. Am I close?”

“Spot on, actually.”

“I just don’t understand how I’m remembering the people but not anything about the Expedition, where were we going, what were we doing. There’s just nothing, it’s a complete blank!”

“I wonder.” Rodney murmured. “You know, someone who was looking back through our mission records a few years ago commented that our first few months were traumatic for everyone, but that it must have caused you significantly more trauma than the rest of us because of the position you were put in. Due to our situation there wasn’t any option for you except to bury everything so you could deal with what was going on and keep everyone safe. To be honest no one really had time for a breakdown or anything. I wonder if that trauma is what’s causing your mind to block it off, protecting you, so you don’t have to experience it again.”

“I know I was diagnosed with PTSD after Afghanistan.” John admitted. “It was one of the reasons I was posted to Antarctica, it was supposed be a punishment but I was lucky that they were sympathetic to the trauma I’d gone through, so they chose Antarctica as it was a calm environment to help my recovery.”

“Maybe you are going to need professional help.” Rodney scrubbed a hand over his face despondently. “Perhaps this is more than you and I can deal with on our own. Even with Gibbs’ support.”

“No, we can do this Rodney.” John said with certainty. “If I could deal with it back then, I can deal with it now. What other photos have you got?”

Rodney opened the next folder and pushed the laptop back towards John.

John opened the first photo. “Okay, this is my brother Dave. Geez, I’d forgotten he was married with kids. His wife’s Sarah, and the girls are Charlotte and Emily.”

Rodney nodded with a grin.

“This is your sister Jeannie, her husband Kaleb and Madison. They live in Canada.” He looked puzzled for a moment, before shaking his head and moving on.

The next picture was the one of Teyla. “She’s the other member of our Team. Teyla Emmagan. She was a local who joined us, not one of our original Expedition members.” He looked over at Rodney for confirmation.

“That’s right, she was highly trained in self-defense. She became good friends with Elizabeth.”

“Oh cool, our cars. How did I forget about them!” John exclaimed as he opened the next picture. “We race these along the corridors. We live in some kind of complex, there’s more than one building. Wherever we are, we are surrounded by sea. An Island?” He looked at Rodney. “We’ve been exploring the complex. You and Radek and your team work on the technology, it’s different from ours, some of it more advanced. You and Radek are always figuring out how things work.”

He clicked open the few remaining pictures. “These are all different areas within the complex. This is the Control Room, that’s Chuck, one of the technicians, he’s Canadian, like you.” John sat back; face screwed up in concentration. “The Expedition is international. The Marines were all US personnel but right from the start the science team was a selection of the best from around the world. This was important. What we did was groundbreaking.” He shook his head. “But, dammit, I still don’t remember what it was!” He stood up and refilled their coffee mugs, passing Rodney’s over and leaning back against the counter.

“I think I’m going to need more, Rodney. Whatever those things were that caused the trauma, I need to know. If I’m going to remember this, I need to face them again. Remember those old television quiz shows where they showed you a sporting event or something and froze the picture and you then had to guess what happened next? I think that’s what we need to do.”

Rodney rose to his feet and started pacing, wrapping his arms around his body. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea? It could make it worse and then what are we going to do.”

‘Rodney, I’ve got to do something!” John raised his voice in frustration and stood suddenly, his chair toppling over backwards with crash. “I’m sorry.” He raised both hands placatingly. “Look, I didn’t mean to get angry; I’m getting frustrated again. Let’s take a break and give ourselves a chance to calm down.”

Rodney dropped his head miserably as John walked into the living area, standing quickly at John’s muttered “Shit”.

“What?” Rodney replied. “Oh, Tony.” He answered his own question as he heard distressed muttering coming from the direction of the sofa.

“Hey, DiNozzo.” John eased himself carefully down on the coffee table. As Rodney joined him in the living room, he noticed John was favoring his injured side and wondered if he’d pulled the stitches. 

Tony blinked sleepily. “Jethro?” He stared sleepily at them, frowning.

“He went to work after he gave you your meds this morning.” John replied softly.

Tony pouted looking hurt, a shimmer of tears in his eyes. John chuckled, reaching out hand to stroke over Tony’s head, surreptitiously feeling his forehead. “I guess he usually stays with you when you’re sick, huh. You stay with him too?”

Tony nodded, blinking quickly and shaking his head slightly to try and clear the fuzziness from the medication.

“Yeah, Rodney and I do the same thing. Get each other out of the infirmary early whenever we can too. I …” John broke off, shaking his head and running a hand through his already messy hair. “Damn … I need a minute.” He stood, moving quickly towards the door, then remembering what happened the last time he went outside he veered off and ran up the stairs, closing the bedroom door behind him.

“I guess he’s remembered.” Tony raised his eyebrows as he looked up at Rodney.

“Yes, I guess so.” Rodney replied distractedly, staring back up to where John had disappeared. “You know, I think you’ve done just as much to help his memory than anything I’ve shown him.”

“And all without even trying.” Tony grinned weakly. He held his hand out to Rodney. “Pull me up would you.”

Rodney obliged, pulling Tony to his feet and making sure he wasn’t too wobbly before releasing him. “I don’t know what damage he’s done to his stitches though. He was favoring his side when he sat down so I don’t know what running up the stairs will have done.”

“I don’t suppose he’s too worried about that at the moment, his side will heal. This is a big breakthrough though. Your relationship is something he’s been confused about over the past few days; I’ve noticed him watching me and Gibbs curiously and then watching you.”

“Yes, yes. I did too. I just hope he’s still speaking to me after this.” Rodney added morosely as he wandered into the kitchen for coffee.

******

“He’s been up there an hour; do you think I ought to go up and check on him?” Rodney said anxiously. 

He and Tony were sitting at the dining room table. Against Rodney’s objections, Tony was busy chopping vegetables, adding them to a large saucepan on the table beside him.

“It’s nearly lunch time, why don’t you wait and see if he appears and then, if he doesn’t, you could pop up and see if he wants lunch. I think he’s got my meds as well so, if nothing, else, duty will bring him down.” Tony chuckled. “Gibbs left me in his care, remember!”

“Damn duty.” Rodney sighed. “It’s like everyone is his responsibility, regardless that they’re all grown adults. Daniel Jackson once told me that the best military leaders are like male alpha lions, their total focus is on the pride and keeping them safe.”

“That sums Gibbs up perfectly. As a Marine he was only a Gunny, but he’s got such a protective streak. I’ve known him out-alpha Marine Generals and Navy Admirals. He always has the greatest respect for them but if they’re in the wrong or are impeding an investigation he sure lets them know, gets right up in their face. You’ve mostly seen the side of him that he shows at home, at work he’s different, so focused, demands the best from everyone, won’t stop until he gets the bad guy.”

“John does too. Even from the scientists. All of us have to be firearms certified and be able to defend ourselves and our team members.” Rodney rose to his feet and took hold of the saucepan. “Now, what do I need to do with this?”

Tony talked him through sautéing the vegetables, browning the chicken thighs and then cooking off the wine, before adding his home-made stock to the mix and setting it to simmer for five minutes before transferring it to a casserole dish, covering, and placing it in the oven, set on a low heat. After that, he directed Rodney to bring him the ingredients for the dumplings, which would be added later.

By the time the dumplings were made, Rodney had put together sandwiches for lunch. He was just thinking of going upstairs to retrieve John, or at least get Tony’s meds, when John appeared of his own accord.

“Dammit, you’re supposed to be resting not cooking.” He glared at Tony, who raised both hands placatingly.

“I just sat here and chopped a few vegetables; Rodney did all the running around.” He assured John. “Anyway, I’m feeling a bit better. I’m not sick enough to be sleepy all the time and I would have got bored just lying there. I don’t do bored very well, too many thoughts, especially when I’m on meds.” He admitted, twirling a finger at his head.

“Okay, but you will go and lay down again after lunch.” John handed Tony his tablets and poured him a glass of juice. Tony swallowed the meds obediently, taking his sandwich and drink into the living area to allow Rodney and John to talk.

“You remembered us.” Rodney started hesitantly, unsure of the angry vibes John was giving off.

John sat at the table; his face blank. “Why didn’t you say anything? I’ve been watching you and wracking my brain, knowing I was missing something. I just couldn’t work out what, it was driving me crazy.”

“I didn’t want to push you!” Rodney admitted. “As far as you were aware DADT was still in operation and you were still way back in the closet. I remember how hard it was to get you to accept who you were and to be comfortable with us. I didn’t want to push you too hard and have you freak out and back away. I wanted to be here to help you.” He finished softly. “Hell, John. It’s so hard to keep my distance.”

“I still don’t remember anything about the Expedition.” He sighed. “I need my life back, Rodney. I need you to show me what else I’m still missing.”

Rodney stared into John’s pleading eyes and gave in. Now that John had remembered their relationship, he couldn’t deny him the memories he was so desperate to recapture.

“Okay. But there are conditions!” He cautioned.

John nodded. “Fair enough, as long as they’re reasonable.”

“Right, right. One, we finish lunch and clear up first; two, you let me check your stiches, you were favoring that side before you went and ran up the stairs; and three, we sit upstairs so we don’t disturb Tony and if you walk out, you don’t walk away from me, you don’t go any further than the balcony and in return I promise I will give you time. I’ll let you come back to me when you’re ready.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough.”

They finished their lunch and cleared up the few plates and cutlery they’d used, along with what Tony had used that morning. John then sat patiently while Rodney checked his wound, which turned out to be fine, just itching as it was healing. Then Rodney grabbed his laptop and charger and retreated to the upstairs bedroom, while John left Tony a bottle of water, poured them both coffee; and joined him upstairs.

They sat together on the window seat and Rodney sat the laptop on a small nightstand he pulled up in front of the window.

“Okay, so, I’m going to be deliberately vague at first. Some of what we’ve been involved with has been pretty unbelievable and if I go into some of that now, you’re going to be too skeptical for this to work. So, I will get there, but in a roundabout way which will, hopefully, make you remember the more unusual parts, rather than have me telling you about them.

I became involved in a highly classified program which Jack O’Neill and Daniel Jackson were part of. Daniel was putting together a team as he believed he had the information to find the lost City of Atlantis. Daniel was working on the language and I was working on the technology behind the chair you saw in the photo, the one you sat in.”

“The control chair.” John recalled. “It was Carson who launched the drone that almost brought down the chopper I was flying. He couldn’t control the chair.”

“That’s right!” Rodney grinned. “You, however, had perfect control over the chair, everyone just gathered round and stared at you. From that moment we wanted you on the mission, O’Neill just had to persuade you.”

“Yeah, he gave me the option while we were flying back. But I didn’t know enough to make a decision, I needed to know more. He spent hours with me when we got back to base answering my questions and telling me as much a he could. He wouldn’t force me though, he said it could be a one-way mission and I had to make up my own mind. I ended up tossing a coin to decide.” John laughed at himself.

“A couple of days later Daniel transcribed the last of the information he needed to work out where Atlantis was. Once that happened, it was all systems go.” Rodney carried on. “Do you remember us leaving?”

“You see, this is what’s all still fuzzy.” John replied, puzzled. It’s like I remember the things connected to people but not the mission itself.”

“You don’t remember anything about leaving?” Rodney asked again.

“I remember us all standing in a room. Sumner was giving me dirty looks. Ford was all excited. There was rippling water, but it wasn’t actually water.” He frowned. “It’s very patchy and vague. There was an alarm, lots of people; marines, scientists, medical team. Lots of gear loaded on electronic buggies. We couldn’t take much with us.”

Rodney leant over and clicked open a photo. John stared at it for several minutes. ‘Stargate!” He whispered. “It’s a Stargate. The surface is like blue, rippling, water. We travelled through it to get to the City of Atlantis.” He turned to Rodney and eyes wide with recognition.

“How the hell did I forget?” He stared straight into Rodney’s eyes. “Rodney, we travelled to the Lost City of Atlantis, through the Ancients’ Stargate System. I am one of the strongest natural carriers of the Ancient gene, along with O’Neill. Carson developed a synthetic gene and you were the first person to get it.

When we travelled through the Stargate, Atlantis was dark and on the bottom of the ocean, but we used too much power and it rose to the surface. Some of us went looking for more power and that’s when we met Teyla and the Athosians.” His face took on a somber look. “That’s when I awakened the Wraith and killed Sumner.”

He dropped his head in his hands. “It’s all coming back to me now; the information is like an avalanche.”

Rodney placed his hand cautiously on Johns’ back, rubbing gently when his touch wasn’t shaken off. “Okay, how about we take a break. Just step away for a moment.”

John nodded, standing and walking towards the door to go out onto the balcony. 

“Rodney.” He asked suddenly hearing a quiet timer going off in the kitchen. “Does the dinner need any attention?”

“Shit!” Rodney jumped up and ran down the stairs trying to remember what Tony had told him. He took the casserole out and give it a quick stir, adding the dumplings and turning the heat up before placing it back in the oven. Tony was still asleep, and John had sat himself down on one of the rockers on the gallery landing, his eyes closed and his feet up on the railing.

Seeing that everyone was otherwise occupied, Rodney smiled to himself and sat on the piano bench and started playing, quickly losing himself in familiar melodies.

******

It was dark when Rodney finally came back to reality. He looked around to see what had disturbed him and saw Gibbs standing by the front door.

“More lullabies, McKay? I think you’ve sent everyone to sleep.” Gibbs said with a grin as he walked through the room.

Rodney looked around. Tony was still fast asleep on the sofa as was John up on the balcony, his head was tipped back, and he was emitting gentle snores.

“Things were a little intense earlier, he wanted a break.” Rodney admitted, walking through to the kitchen to put some more coffee on. “By the way, Tony was a little upset when he woke up mid-morning because you weren’t here. John made a comment about him being used to you staying with him while he was sick and without thinking commented that we did the same thing and it suddenly triggered his memories of us. He sat upstairs for a couple of hours, only came down again when it was time to give Tony his meds.

We had another chat this afternoon, I started the ball rolling telling him a bit of background and it just seemed to start an avalanche of memories. He remembers the expedition and the people and what happened when we first shipped out. We still have a few years to catch up on but we’re definitely on the way now.”

“I’ll go up and see how he is in a minute.” Gibbs frowned as he saw the casserole. “Tony’s not been cooking, has he? This looks suspiciously like one of his recipes.”

“He slept for a while after breakfast but when he woke up was a lot brighter. He said he didn’t want to lay around thinking. He sat at the table and chopped vegetables and made the dumplings but had me running around doing everything else. He went back to sleep after lunch.”

Gibbs poured three coffees and, taking two of them, headed upstairs. A moment later, Rodney heard the door closing behind them.

Rodney sighed as he looked around, remembering that he’d left the laptop upstairs. He looked over at the television. They’d hardly had it on all week, but he didn’t feel like watching anything. A glance over at the sofa showed that Tony was still asleep, so he sat back down at the piano and continued playing.

******

The first Rodney was aware that he wasn’t alone was when Tony sat down next to him on the bench.

“What’ve you done with John?”

“He and Gibbs are upstairs talking.”

“Gibbs is home? Oh good ‘cause it smells like dinner’s ready. It’ll dry out too much if we don’t eat soon. I’ll pop up and stick my head around the door.”

Rodney stood and watched him ascend the stairs. Seeing that Tony was steady enough on his feet he wandered into the kitchen to lay out plates and cutlery.

It wasn’t long before he heard voices and footsteps descending and, a moment later, they were all sitting down to plates of Tony’s chicken casserole with herb dumplings.

After dinner was cleared away, they sat around Rodney’s laptop. Gibbs had brought the recording of the interview of their suspect; before he started the recording, he laid out hard copies of photos of each of the three men.

“So, who is he?” Tony asked. “It really feels weird not being part of the investigation.”

“This is Master Sergeant Mark Lawrence, based at Quantico. He’d previously been posted to Pendleton. During our enquiries, his CO admitted that he was investigating a series of thefts from the armory. McGee discovered that Pendleton also had a series of thefts that had stopped just before three men were transferred from Pendleton to Quantico. The Quantico thefts started soon after. Lawrence was one of the three.

McGee found out that Lawrence and Harris had been seen together on a number of occasions, although they had no reason to be. Coincidentally, Harris was posted to the armory.”

“And we know what you think of coincidences.” Tony commented.

“We had trouble finding the connection with Steel but eventually discovered that Lawrence was blackmailing him. They’d known each other since their training days at Parris Island. Lawrence caught Steel in a compromising position with another marine and has been blackmailing him for information on arms shipments since he found out he was at The Pentagon.”

‘Shit, I remember now.” John confirmed, standing up and beginning to pace. “I’d been stuck indoors each day in meetings and took every opportunity to get out and get some exercise, so I’d been out jogging most mornings and evenings. I run in my uniform and boots all the time on base, so I don’t bother with running gear most of the time. I leave my wallet and ID at the hotel, and just take my cellphone.

I used the same trail each time, so I knew exactly how far to go before I needed to turn back. I passed all three of these guys on my way out, they were standing just off the trail talking. Two of them were in uniform. I didn’t really think anything of it at first, there are so many military people around DC, it didn’t seem unusual, even at that early hour.

I was on my way back when I heard raised voices. As I was passing them, I saw that one of the ones in uniform had a knife, I think it was Lawrence, but I didn’t see his face or insignia clearly. They realized I was there and the two of them grabbed me and pulled me towards the trees. I didn’t even know what they were arguing over, but they must have thought I’d overheard something. Steel was shouting at the others to let me go but they wouldn’t. He grabbed Lawrence’s hand and tried to pull him away, but he stabbed Steel and then turned on me. Harris was panicking by then; he was still holding on to me and Lawrence had grabbed back hold of me, pulling me into the trees, and there was a struggle as I tried to get the knife off him. He managed to slice me, but I twisted and slipped that’s when I fell. That’s the last I remember, after I hit my head there’s nothing.”

“So, did he run off thinking John was dead?” Rodney asked.

“And what happened to the other Marine, did he off him afterwards? Tony asked, nodding at the screen. “Has he confessed, or is he denying it.”

“Why don’t you just watch and see.” Gibbs shrugged.

The interrogation and confession were almost an anti-climax after everything John had been through over the past week. Lawrence admitted to stabbing Steel, and then trying to stab John. Thinking John was dead when he fell and hit his head, he’d left him and after a short argument with Harris, he’d stabbed him too. He’d stopped and searched the bodies, removing wallets and cellphones, before running off in the opposite direction to the path when he heard joggers approaching.

“So, is it over?” Rodney asked hopefully.

“Yeah. It’s almost over.” Gibbs confirmed. “We’ll need to take Sheppard’s statement and there might be a few more questions while we wrap up the case and make sure it’s airtight. I left McGee checking out the other two Marines who transferred from Pendleton with Lawrence, just in case they were in on it too.”

Rodney drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Dropping his head to rest on his arms on the table.

“I’ve spoken to General O’Neill. He wants you both to stay in in the area for another week as he needs you to attend a meeting on 6 March. He thought it would be an idea for you to have some downtime before you go back. So, you’re welcome to stay here until then. Have a few days on your own after we’ve wrapped the case.”

“I’d like that.” John agreed. “After being stuck indoors for the past week it would be great to get outside and get some fresh air and exercise. This area looks great for exploring.”

“No, no, no!” Rodney exclaimed with a groan. “You’re going to have me tramping around out in the cold, aren’t you?”

“It’ll make you appreciate coming back to the warmth of the cabin.” John replied with a chuckle.

Rodney hadn’t noticed Gibbs taking notes while John was talking but the two were soon working on John’s statement. Having lost his laptop for a while Rodney sighed and rose to his feet, trying to decide if he fancied a coffee or a cold drink. Tony made the decision for him, grabbing four beers from the fridge, removing the tops and handing them around. 

“You’re still on antibiotics.” John reminded him sharply.

Rodney couldn’t help but laugh at the identical glares Tony was receiving from both Gibbs and John.

“Oh, c’mon! Not with the mother-henning again, it’s just one, beer! Please? I’m a lot better today.” He implored, turning puppy dog eyes on them both.

John looked over at Gibbs, quirking an eyebrow. Gibbs sighed back at him with an eyeroll and weary shake of his head.

To Rodney’s amazement Tony just stood there, looking from one man to the other.

“Are you seriously waiting for one of them to give you permission to have a drink?” He asked, incredulously. “How old are you, five?”

Gibbs and John just laughed at the guilty and somewhat shamefaced look from the younger agent.

“On your head, be it.” Gibbs responded with a wry smile. “You’re bad enough just on meds but you know what you’re like on meds and alcohol.” 

Rodney looked enquiringly at Tony, who obliged with an explanation.

“Meds can make me loopy, over-affectionate and a little emotional, some worse than others. Add alcohol and it kind of enhances it.” He shrugged. “I’ll risk it. I know none of you will take advantage.”

“Explains some of your reactions today.” John muttered, with a grin.

“Okay. I’m just going to go and ... do something, somewhere else.” Tony made haste out of the kitchen, delicate color staining his cheeks.

Gibbs looked at John shaking his head, both men were laughing silently. Rodney decided to side with Tony and followed him through to the living area.


	8. 28 February 2012

Rodney climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom to shower. If he were to be honest, he had actually no idea why he kept on getting up at 06:30. There was no reason for it, he could be taking the opportunity to lie in lazily while he had the chance. However, he had to admit that he enjoyed the quiet and comfortable domesticity of the morning routine, as well as the breakfasts themselves. He hadn’t eaten this well in a long time.

He dressed and made his way to the kitchen where John and Gibbs were talking quietly at the table while Tony, who was clearly feeling better, was putting together what looked like a full English breakfast.

He helped himself to coffee and sat at the table, wrapping his hands around his mug and inhaling the strong aroma. He certainly appreciated Gibbs’ good taste in coffee.

“So, do you think you’ll be able to wrap the case up today?”

“Yeah, hope so.” Gibbs replied, as he drained his mug. “John’s statement ties up with the information Lawrence gave us in his interrogation, so it’s all seems pretty straightforward. There will be some follow up on the missing firearms and we need to ensure there isn’t anyone else involved but, at long as that’s all straightforward, we should be done.”

He stood to fill the coffee machine, getting out his two travel mugs for the journey. “I may be late back tonight as I have a meeting but Tim’s going to bring Ducky to check John over. The wound looks pretty much healed, so I reckon he’ll be able to take those stitches out.”

“That’ll be a relief.” John grinned. “They’re past the itchy stage and are now just annoying and pulling on the skin.”

‘Right, I’m off, I’ll see you all sometime this evening. Don’t wait for me to have dinner.”

“Aren’t you having breakfast?” Rodney was aghast. The smell of the sausages, bacon and whatever else Tony was cooking was tantalizing and he couldn’t believe Gibbs was walking out before it was ready.

“I have my breakfast.” Gibbs waggled the two travel mugs at him, dropping a kiss on Tony’s temple as he walked out.

Tony shrugged at him. “To Gibbs, caffeine is a food group and he’s just as happy with a good coffee than with this.” He indicated the food in front of him.

“His loss.” Rodney watched in appreciation as Tony removed sausage and bacon from the grill onto plates, added tomatoes, mushrooms and sliced potatoes from a pan, along with scrambled eggs from another saucepan. He also added a pile of toast to a separate plate. Before placing them all on the table.

Rodney picked up his knife and fork and tucked in. He was going to miss this when Tony went back to DC.

Once breakfast was cleared away, John and Rodney retired to the upstairs bedroom with the laptop. Although John had remembered the beginning of the mission, they still had going on eight years of the Atlantis Expedition to go through, to ensure that John really did remember, if not everything, at least most of the important things. Rodney couldn’t imagine returning to Pegasus without John and Beckett had already made it very clear that he was not flying the City back. The only thing that was beginning to concern Rodney was the fact that John didn’t seem to want to discuss their relationship.

Tony had declared his intention to do a couple of loads of washing so had stripped the bed in the upstairs bedroom, along with his own bed, and gathered up all the clothing which needed washing.

“You’re quite the little housewife, aren’t you?” Rodney commented with a grin. Tony had laughed good naturedly.

“Just be careful what you call me.” He’d retorted. “I’m in charge of dinner.” He’d swept up the bedding and made his way downstairs, still laughing.

“Just make sure you don’t overdo it.” John shouted after him. “You’re still on medication.”

“Yes, Dad.” Came the weary response from below.

******

It had been, Rodney decided, an intense and emotional morning. Their conversation had jumped about all over the place, instead of staying in the chronological order that Rodney’s mind had wanted to go in.

They’d discussed the Athosians and Teyla’s sadness at being separated from her people, Ronon and his days as a Runner, losing Aiden Ford. The deaths of Elizabeth, Carson and all the others they had lost. They talked about the Ancients and the Asurans. The Wraith, remembering Todd and Michael, the Hive Ships and the Wraith Darts. The Replicators, the Genii and so many more of the people they’d met during their time in the Pegasus Galaxy.

Rodney had recalled John being attacked by the Iratus Bug. John had remembered Rodney’s regression to childhood. They had both confessed to their worry and concern each time the other was injured.

Throughout it all they reminisced about the good times they’d had on Atlantis, about the City herself. Racing their cars down the endless corridors, sitting on the end of the pier drinking beer. The excitement of exploring new areas of the City and the new technologies they were continually finding, even now.

When Tony had tapped on the door and popped his head round to see if they were ready for lunch it had come as a relief to have break from the memories. Although, as he was sitting down to his lunch, Rodney felt unsettled as he realized the one thing they still hadn’t talked about; their relationship.

******

“Hey, Rodney. Are you okay?” Rodney realized he had totally zoned out while he was eating his sandwich. Tony was looking at him in concern and John was nowhere in sight. He’d still got some chips and a couple of brownies on his plate, but John and Tony’s plates had already been cleared away.

“Where’s John?”

“Gone to lie down, he said that this morning was pretty intense. Is everything okay?”

Rodney signed. “I … I, really don’t know.” He shrugged, sadly. “We talked about the people we worked with, local people and communities we’d met. Enemies we encountered, the places we were based. Things we did, injuries we’d had, good times and bad times. People we lost along the way.” He stopped and bit his lip, looking away as he felt tears fill his eyes.

“Rodney?” Tony sat down next to him, his voice was soft, sympathetic and gentle and Rodney swiped his hand angrily over his eyes, not wanting to break down now. “Hey, what’s wrong.”

“John didn’t say anything about us.” Rodney whispered. “About our relationship. He remembered that we were together yesterday but didn’t say or do anything after that. At first, I thought he was just getting his head around it but seeing how carefully he avoided discussing anything about our actual relationship has made me wonder if he’s changed his mind about us, he can freak out so easily about some things. He talked about the things we did as friends but doesn’t seem to want to think about us as lovers.” He closed his eyes, dropping his face into his hands.

Rodney felt a hand wrap around his wrist, thumb rubbing gently over the skin. “C’mon, don’t think like that. John’s been through a lot. Twenty four hours ago his world was probably turned completely on its axis when discovered that not only does he have a boyfriend, but you’ve been together for eight years! It’s a lot to take in, I know, I’ve been through the same thing, remember. You’ve come so far with him, Rodney, don’t give up on him now!” Rodney registered the urgency in Tony’s voice and the determination in his face and knew he was right.

“I know.” He whispered in defeat. “I have to keep believing in him. I just … I just don’t know what I’d do if he didn’t want me. I couldn’t work with him knowing what we had, knowing he doesn’t want me.” He looked straight at Tony and saw the green eyes fill in understanding and sympathy.

“Now look what you’ve done.” Tony let out a wet chuckle as he ran his sleeve over his own eyes. “It’s a good job neither John nor Gibbs are here to see us. We’d never hear the last of it.”

“What do I do?” Rodney implored. “What did you do?”

“It was complicated.” Tony sighed. “While Gibbs was in Mexico the Director sent me on an unauthorized undercover operation. I had to start a relationship with the daughter of an arms dealer. I got in too deep and by the time Gibbs returned, I was kind of in a relationship I couldn’t get out of because the Director wouldn’t let me quit the operation. Gibbs thought I was seeing someone. He started going out with someone himself too, although it only lasted a couple of months.” Tony stopped and chewed on his lip. “Anyway, the arms dealer blew up my car, which was being driven by one of his henchmen. I was in the car in front with him and his daughter, that’s when he told me he knew who I was. Gibbs and the others were watching from traffic cam footage at the time and saw my car blow up, they thought I was dead. She dumped me when she discovered who I was and, well, I was in a bad way after that and I needed Gibbs to put me back together again. And he did, but it was only then that he remembered we were in a relationship.”

“Shit. What a nightmare.”

“Yeah, wasn’t the end of it though. The arms dealer was killed, daughter blamed me. The FBI wanted to lock me up for murder. Gibbs stood by me though. Seriously, I don’t know what I would do without him, either.” He finished softly.

“I’m sorry.” Rodney felt wretched. “I keep making you remember things you’re trying to forget.”

“Hey, no worries. It’s all over now. Gibbs and I are good. More than good, actually, we’ve been through some rough times and we’ve come out stronger. Just like you and John will.”

“I wish I could be as sure as you are. I’m really not convinced at the moment.” Rodney said sadly. “

Tony reached over and gave him a one-armed hug. “Trust me, Rodney. I’m sure everything will be okay.”

Rodney wandered out into the living area while Tony started preparing the dinner. He stared out of the window, absently noting the swirling flakes of snow.

“Will Tim and Ducky still come out here in this?”

“Yeah, this is nothing to Tim. He’s used to driving in this and Ducky’s not bothered at all. He grew up in Scotland and they had plenty of snow there. He’s also lived in DC long enough to understand the weather.” He chuckled. “Actually, if Ducky is going to be driving with anyone in this weather, I think Tim would be his choice, he’s probably the most sedate of all of us in the Team, cautious but confident.”

“Are they going to stay over?”

“I don’t know, I think Tim was planning to leave fairly early as long as Gibbs didn’t need him, so they may drive out here and then leave soon after dinner. I’m aiming it for 18:00, they should be here by then, I hope. I don’t want to spoil Ducky’s roast by overcooking it.”

“Do you always cook something special for Ducky?”

“Ducky loves his traditional English roasts, he cooks a pretty mean roast himself but since his mother died, I think he’s kinda lonely, so I like to cook things that remind him of home. That doesn’t mean that he objects to my pasta dishes, he loves those as well.”

Rodney looked up eagerly at the sound of the bedroom door opening, holding his breath in the hope that John would be coming back out. The bathroom door shut, and he closed his eyes in disappointment, trying to bite back the misery that wanted to escape.

He’d never known a week be so long. A week on Atlantis seemed to pass by at three times the speed as the past seven days. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he’d seen the tweet posted by NCIS on Twitter and he felt like he’d been on a rollercoaster of hope and despair ever since.

To his relief, John came out of the bathroom and out into the living area. He smiled wearily at Rodney. “Are you ready for the next round?”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Rodney smiled back. He had to try and be positive, he knew. It all depended on him and it wasn’t as if he couldn’t cope with responsibility. Somehow though, this seemed harder than all of the times he’d saved Atlantis.

He followed John up the stairs, taking courage from the brief but strong grip on his shoulder before he walked away.

******

When Rodney walked into the bedroom, John was already sitting on the window seat, his head in his hands.

“John, what’s wrong?” Rodney felt tight tendrils of fear creeping through him. Was this the moment that John was going to tell him it was all over? He felt almost frozen with fear, wanting to turn and run, so he didn’t have to listen to whatever John had to say.

John looked up. “Rodney? Hell, I don’t know what you think I’m going to say but it’s not going to be that bad!”

Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Seriously, John, I just don’t know what you’re going to say, or do.” He wrung his hands, pacing across the room. “I’ve been so scared, terrified that you wouldn’t remember Atlantis, remember us. But you’ve talked about just about everything but us, our relationship.” He stopped and stared at John across the room. “Do we even have a relationship any more? Have you woken up to realize that it’s not what you want? That I’m not what you want?” He stopped, unable to go on through the growing lump in his throat. Wrapping his arms around himself in a self-hug.

John leaped to his feet and crossed the room in long strides. “No, Rodney. No. Dammit I didn’t mean it that way at all.” He stopped just short of where Rodney was standing, scrubbing a hand through his hair and Rodney remembered how hard all of this was for John.

“Rodney, listen. This past week has just been overwhelming. I’m trying to take it all in but it’s not easy. One minute I’m in Antarctica, recovering from the PTSD from Afghanistan, the next minute I have eight years of thoughts and memories crashing around me, with no real order of when or where they happened. It’s coming back slowly but … maybe you were right, maybe I should have taken Gibbs upon his offer of counselling. I’m getting there though; I’m working through it. Thanks to you and to Gibbs for sticking with me, for helping me work through it all.” He stared at Rodney, reaching out a tentative hand and placing it on Rodney’s arm. “Rodney, you’ve been here with me throughout it all, please stick with me. I know it must be hard for you, but I need to get through this, I need to know that I’m me again before I can trust myself with you.” He finished softly, so softly that Rodney could barely hear him. The beseeching look on John’s face was one he’d never seen before, more vulnerable than he’d ever seen John be.

Relief flooded him, so great that his legs almost gave way. He stared into John’s hazel eyes, seeing all the emotions laid bare. There was a sheen of tears in John’s eyes and he longed to wrap him up and keep him safe from the outside world. Instead, he stepped forward, placing his hands on John’s shoulders, leaning forward until their foreheads were touching in the traditional Athosian greeting. It was familiar and comforting. He felt John’s hands land gently on his own shoulders and finally, finally, dared to believe.

******

They’d been sitting talking when the soft tap came at the door. Rodney stood and moved across the room, opening the door to find the NCIS Medical Examiner on the other side.

“Rodney, dear boy, how are you? And how is my patient?” He asked with a genial smile, walking into the room.

“Much better thanks, Ducky.” John answered with a laidback grin. “It’s been a hell of a ride but I’m beginning to feel that the finish line isn’t too far ahead.”

“Good, good. I understand that Jethro has offered the use of his cabin for a few more days, I think it’s an excellent idea. Plenty of fresh air and exercise is just what you both need to regain your balance before you’re thrust back into whatever General O’Neill has planned for you next. He obviously couldn’t go into detail, but he said enough to lead us to believe that it’s going to be a very busy time for your both.”

“Huh, O’Neill would say something like that. It’s probably one of his greatest understatement of the century.” Rodney picked up his laptop and turned to the door. “I’ll leave you two to it, I’d rather not witness the stitches coming out.” He grimaced and escaped through the door.

He descended the stairs deep in thought but hesitated when he reached the bottom. The two agents were in deep discussion over something in the kitchen. Tony was leaning against the counter, staring out of the window and Tim was standing next to him, one hand on his shoulder, talking quietly. Several bags were sitting on the table, waiting to be emptied.

Rodney wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to disturb them as it seemed like a private conversation, but again, he didn’t want to go back upstairs. His dilemma was short lived as he realized Tim had seen him, the way Tony looked around quickly confirmed that Tim had told Tony of his presence.

“It’s okay Rodney, come on through. I’ve just put some fresh coffee on.” Tony moved over to the table and started unpacking the bags, while Tim grabbed mugs for the coffee. “I’ve tried to gauge what you and John might want for the next few days. There is a store a few miles down the road if you do need anything, but I’ve tried to work it that you won’t have to go out unless you want to. Tim’s picked out milk and food with good dates on and you can always stick things in the freezer if you don’t get around to using them.”

“Oh, thank you. I guess I hadn’t even thought of that. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to consider mundane things like cooking or shopping for myself. We’re so used to eating at the cafeteria on base, unless we go out for food.” Rodney admitted.

“Especially after you’ve had Tony as Executive Chef for a few days.” Tim chuckled.

“Yes, he even managed to cook while he was ill, apart from one morning when Gibbs made French toast.”

“You had Gibbs’ French Toast, damn I missed it, I love Gibbs’ French toast.” Tony pouted in disappointment, making Rodney laugh.

“Actually, you didn’t miss it. Gibbs gave you your meds that morning and then left, leaving you breakfast. You just sat there staring at it and John had to cut it up and hand feed you.”

Tim laughed. “Tony on meds is always amusing. We never hold it against him though.”

Tony looked pained. “He didn’t make airplane noises as well did he?”

“No, just waggled the wings a bit.” Rodney replied with a grin.

Tony groaned. “I’m never going to live this down, am I? Being fed by John, you playing lullabies on the piano to get me to sleep and getting upset when Gibbs went to work when I was sick.” He executed a theatrical facepalm. “Shoot me now, McGee!”

Tim grinned over at Rodney from where he was putting the last of the groceries away and Rodney smiled back, enjoying the companionable teasing. Despite Tim’s amusement, he knew that the younger agent would never use the knowledge to seriously hurt Tony. It was clear that the two men were good friends as well as colleagues.

Rodney started getting out plates to set the table. Tony had already got the roast beef out of the oven to stand and Rodney was beginning to feel really hungry now. By the time the table was set, Tony had finished the gravy off and was beginning to dish out vegetables, crispy roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings into the serving bowls while Tim started carving the beef.

As if they’d been summoned, Ducky and John appeared just as everything had been placed on the table.

“Wow, this smells great.” John sniffed appreciatively as he sat at the table.

“Ah yes, Anthony cooks an excellent roast.” Ducky smiled at his host. “Having a combination of English and Italian parentage he really does excel in the cuisines of both countries. However, one has to have the passion for cooking to bring such delightful dishes to the table. You only have to taste his food to know that each dish has been prepared with love.”

“It’s not very often you see Yorkshire Puddings in the US, at least not cooked well. It’s all in the batter and American Pancake batter does not make a good Yorkshire Pudding.” Rodney grumbled, piling three of the small puddings on his plate and filling them with gravy.

“The batter?” John queried.

“Yorkshire Puddings need to be made from English pancake batter, not American pancake batter.” Rodney explained patiently. “It’s all down to science. My parents emigrated from England to Canada when I was young, my mother’s not much of a cook but my grandmother’s Yorkshires were legendary.”

Ducky smiled at him. “Well you will be pleased to know that John has been declared fully fit. I’ve removed his stitches; both his head and his side have healed nicely. He has full permission to go out, as long as he’s careful in the snow, and indulge in the hot tub, if he so wishes.”

“I’m just looking forward to being able to get outside and get some fresh air and exercise, as soon as Gibbs says it’s safe to.” John declared. “I’ve never been good with enforced inactivity, although this is the nicest place I’ve ever had to put up with it.” He finished with a grin.

“You’ve not exactly complained about the food either.” Rodney retorted, helping himself to two more golden crisp roast potatoes.

John laughed. “Make the most of it, you’ll be living on cereal and toast when Tony goes home.”

“Check the freezer.” Tim advised them. “Tony always cooks enough for leftovers for the freezer, so I doubt you’ll need to cook any dinners yourself unless you want to.”

Tony nodded with a grin. “Everything’s labelled with what it is, along with the cooking instructions. There’s at least a weeks’ worth of meals in there, all for two people.”

“Unless, of course, you’d rather I get O’Neill to ship us some MREs.” John commented innocently, oblivious to Rodney’s glare and everyone else’s laughter.

Once dinner was finished, Tim and Ducky left, having decided they would rather get back to DC before any more snow fell. John and Rodney washed and dried up and Tony made up a plate of food ready for Gibbs and packed the rest of the leftovers away to freeze once they were cool.

By the time he’d finished, Tony was clearly flagging. 

“You are still taking your meds, aren’t you?” John asked with a frown.

‘Yes, don’t worry, I know better than to not finish the course. Ducky also checked me over before he came up to see you, said my lungs sound okay, just a slight rattle. As we ate earlier than usual, I have to wait two hours before I can take the next dose, so it won’t be too much later than normal.”

“Go, sit down and rest. We’ll finish up in here.” Rodney assured him as he put the coffee on and grabbed the cocoa to make Tony’s chocolate. “Go, shoo.” He waved him away and Tony went with a grin.

“You two have become good friends.” John commented softly.

“Yes, he’s an easy person to like and to talk to. He’s been through a lot himself, but I get the impression that he’s always willing to use that to help others, regardless of the personal cost.”

“Gibbs’ amnesia lasted a hell of a lot longer than mine. Seeing how hurt you’ve been over this I can’t begin to imagine what Tony went through.”

“He said that he and Gibbs came out stronger the other side. Do you think we can too?”

“Rodney, I’m sure of it. Think of the things we’ve been through over the past eight years, everything that’s happened has brought us closer, this will too. In less than a months’ time, I’ll be flying Atlantis back to the Pegasus Galaxy. It’ll be the start of a new adventure. We’ve been away for three years; we don’t know what we’re going to find when we get back. We have new teams, and new technologies.”

“I don’t think I can quite believe that we’re actually going back.” Rodney shook his head in disbelief.

“They’re even repairing the Gate Bridge, the work on that has already started”

“Really? I didn’t even know they were planning on fixing it.”

“Yeah, when I saw O’Neill last week, he said that Sam Carter was in her element, she’s had several new ideas about it too.” He poured their coffee while Rodney topped Tony’s chocolate with marshmallows.

“Do you know what O’Neill wants us in DC for next week?” Rodney asked as they walked through to the living area.

“I’m not sure, maybe there’s more meetings he wants both of us to attend, seeing as you’re here now as well.” John stuck a couple more logs on the fire before he sat down.

“You said that Daniel’s in DC at the moment as well didn’t you, so that would make sense. Would be nice to have dinner with them before we leave too.”

“Daniel was certainly there last week when I was.” John agreed. “I’m not sure how long he was staying for though.”

“Are you going to drop in on your brother before you go?” Tony asked. “He’s actually been in touch with Gibbs to see how you’ve been doing. Under the circumstances he didn’t want to disturb you directly, but he has been worried.”

“I didn’t even think about Dave.” John replied, honestly. “Of course, he came to see me in hospital. I’d forgotten that I’d made peace with him and that we’ve spent Christmas and New Year with them and Jeannie, Kaleb and Madison.”

“You know, we’ll be leaving you one of the 4x4s and it takes less than two hours to get to his place from here, if you wanted to. Or even invite them over.” Tony yawned.

“That’s an idea. Hey, why don’t you take your meds and go to bed. Gibbs said he was going to be late but I’m sure he didn’t expect you to stay up for him, you’re still recovering.” John looked at Tony with concern. “You’re only going to fall asleep here if you don’t.”

Tony yawned again. “Yeah, I think I might just do that. Make sure Gibbs eats his dinner though.”

“I will.” John agreed. “And make sure you eat something after you take your meds too.”

“Okay I will.” Tony grinned good naturedly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” John replied with a grin, laying back and closing his eyes, crossing his feet on the coffee table.

Rodney smiled to himself at the familiar behavior. Over the past week John hadn’t been himself, but one thing that had been so familiar to Rodney was John’s need to protect and look after those around him. It was, Rodney considered, something ingrained in all military personnel, but it always seemed stronger in John than in the others on Atlantis. O’Neill and Gibbs had the same vibe. Rodney had never really analyzed it; he’d just taken it for granted. 

Thinking about it now, he realized that Tony had hit the nail on the head when he’d accused the two men of being alpha mother-hens, that was the difference between some members of the military and others. It wasn’t that others weren’t good leaders, people like Samantha Carter and Evan Lorne were all good leaders, but they didn’t have the alpha vibe like O’Neill, Sheppard and Gibbs. Even those who had never met them before, listened, trusted and obeyed immediately, without even considering why they were doing it.

Rodney sighed as he picked up his laptop. Although he’d sent Tony to bed for being tired, John himself was already snoring gently. It had been a pretty intense day for him as well. Rodney settled into his simulation, quickly losing himself in the data and only resurfacing when Gibbs arrived late in the evening.


	9. 29 February 2012

When Rodney woke up it was already daylight outside. The heavy snowfall of the evening before had transformed the surrounding forest into a winter wonderland. The sky was clear and blue, and the sunlight reflected off the snow-covered branches, making them sparkle like diamonds.

It was the first time Rodney had slept beyond 06:00 since his nightmare began and he lay there, in no hurry to get out of his warm bed. The case was closed, and the murderer was behind bars. John’s stitches had healed, and his memory appeared to be more or less complete. He would have to undergo further testing once they returned to Atlantis but, the important thing for John and for Rodney, was that he has been cleared to return to the City.

After today it would be just the two of them at the cabin, as both Gibbs and Tony were returning to DC early the following morning. Rodney had wondered if John would baulk at the enforced downtime, but John had readily agreed, stating that he’d been hoping he would get some time to explore the area before they had to return. The fact that John wanted to stay at the cabin alone with Rodney for a few more days made Rodney feel that things were finally getting back to normal.

Climbing out of bed, Rodney stretched and padded off to the bathroom for his shower.

“Hey sleepyhead!” Tony greeted him as he finally made his way into the kitchen. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to drag your lazy ass out of bed today.”

“It’s only 09:00!” Rodney sputtered in indignation. “I’ve been up before dawn for the past week, I think I deserve a lie in at least one day a week.”

Tony grinned and placed a mug of coffee in front of him. “I guess you do. Now sit, breakfast will be ready momentarily.” He turned around and poured batter into the waffle iron.

“Where’re John and Gibbs?”

“They’ve gone for a walk so Gibbs can show John the best trails. Some are easier than others in the snow and some areas are best avoided, unless you want to take a tumble.”

“Personal experience?”

“Yup, and it wasn’t very pretty. I came a little too up close and personal with a tree. Gibbs was pretty pissed off with me as I ended up with concussion the first day of our four-day break.”

“You couldn’t help it, why was he pissed with you?”

“He’d warned me to be careful and I was goofing off, he thought I was going to end up in the river which, with my lungs …” He broke off and pulled a face.

Rodney winced in understanding as Tony placed a plate in front of him with four golden brown waffles. Rodney hummed appreciatively, pouring over maple syrup and adding some of the berries from the bowl on the table.

“Thanks, Tony.” He took a large mouthful and closed his eyes appreciatively. “This is amazing, I’m really going to miss your cooking. I’ve had better food here than at a lot of restaurants.” 

Tony grinned, leaning back against the counter. “Just my cooking?”

“Well, no, obviously, your company too.” Rodney rolled his eyes. “At the beginning of the week I was pretty pissed off at the thought of being cooped up with a Federal Agent with no real privacy to speak of. But you’ve been a good friend and I don’t have many of those. It really helped having you here to talk to. You helped trigger some of Johns memories and you eased a lot of the tension between us just by being around.”

“It’s all in a days’ work.” Tony said with a grin, turning to start clearing up. “But seriously, I’m just glad we were able to help. You know, I’m sure the next few days will be just what you both need.”

“I hope so.” Rodney agreed. “The fact that John wants to stay here alone with me is a good sign. Yesterday was so much better as he was talking about us and our relationship, it really looks like we’re going to get through this.”

Tony just nodded. Picking up Rodney’s plate to wash it up. Rodney got up and started drying and putting away.

“What time are you two heading off tomorrow?”

“About 07:00. Gibbs wants me back at work, he doesn’t really like it when I’m not there to do the paperwork.” Tony chuckled. “Tim sort of knows what to do but as he doesn’t do it on a regular basis he’s not as efficient as I am, so Gibbs has to do some of it.”

“Why does Gibbs make you do all the paperwork?”

“It’s not all of the paperwork, he still has a load he has to do himself but as the Senior Field Agent, I have a responsibility for certain forms and requisitions. It’s a Federal Agency so there are so many forms and so much red tape.”

Rodney pulled a face. “Can’t get away from forms and red tape anywhere.”

Tony laughed. “Come on, let’s go and get the hot tub filled and heated up and I’ll show you how it works.”

Rodney shivered just thinking about it. “I can’t see how it won’t be freezing out there!”

“It’s not!” Tony disagreed. “The water is so lovely and warm, you sink down, let the water bubble around you. In the dark, with the snow and the fairy lights it’s just … kinda romantic, you’ll see. You’ll love it Rodney, believe me.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it.” Rodney humored him, not convinced at all.

The morning passed quickly as they cleaned and filled the hot tub. John and Gibbs returned, and they gathered together for lunch, after which, John persuaded Rodney outside for some fresh air.

“Are you really sure this is a good idea?” Rodney asked, frowning as he stood on the porch, glaring out at the snow. He was bundled up in a thick coat and walking boots which Gibbs had brought back with him the day before, along with pale blue scarf, gloves and hat which Tony had lent him. John also had new walking boots but was happy enough with the coat, gloves, hat and scarf he’d brought with him to DC. 

John laughed. “Oh, come on Rodney, it’s not that bad. You’ve been stationed in Russia and Antarctica, Virginia in winter is nowhere near as cold! You’ll survive.”

“Huh, just because I was stationed in Russia and Antarctica doesn’t mean that I went outside for enjoyment.” He grumbled. “Just what part of being stuck outside in the freezing cold, for pleasure, actually appeals to you?”

“It’s peaceful, quiet, relaxing, beautiful. And after being stuck indoors for a week, it’s just nice to be outside in the fresh air getting some exercise.” He looked coyly at Rodney. “And it’s nice just being alone together.”

Rodney stared back, trying to read him, but John had already looked away and was just smiling happily. Rodney couldn’t help sharing in his joy, it had been a hell of a week and maybe John was right, perhaps wandering through the woods, just being together, without any deadlines, crises, meetings or demands, was just what they needed.

He followed John down the steps and along the trail John and Gibbs had made that morning. Light snowflakes were falling, birds were singing, and Rodney took a deep breath, a smile spreading across his face as John reached out and took his hand.

******

By the time Rodney and John returned to the cabin it was after 16:30. As they’d followed the trail back the snow had stopped falling and the sky had turned from twilight to a deep midnight blue. Rodney had to admit, it had been a good idea. The exercise and fresh air had invigorated him and just walking through the woods in the snow, hand in hand with John, had been fun and relaxing. For the first time he felt that he and John were actually back in sync with one another.

The cabin looked beautiful as they walked towards it. The fairy lights around the hot tub were on and the welcoming flickering of the fire could be seen through the window.

“It doesn’t look like anyone’s home from here, there aren’t any lights on.” Rodney observed. “Do you think we’ll be interrupting anything?” He added with a giggle.

John gave him an odd look, which Rodney really couldn’t interpret, before he opened the door and ushered Rodney in.

‘Oh, the warmth from that fire is …” Rodney broke off when he finally got a good look at the room. He’d been right, the lights were all off, but in addition to the glowing warmth of the fire was the flickering of around a dozen candles around the living and kitchen areas.

The wooden table, which they’d been eating off all week just with table mats, had been covered with a crisp white tablecloth. Matching napkins had been expertly folded and the table had been laid for two, with crockery, cutlery, champagne flutes and water glasses set out as professionally as if it were a classy restaurant. A single red rose stood in a beautiful crystal vase in the center of the table, surrounded by a ring of tea lights in matching red candle holders. A most enticing smell was coming from the oven.

Rodney took a couple of steps forward and stopped, staring open mouthed at John. “Is…is this for us?” He stuttered in bewilderment.

“Yeah, it is.” John smiled shyly, taking his hand again. “My memories aren’t the only things I’ve been talking to Gibbs about. After I remembered our relationship, I wanted to thank you for sticking by me this week, it hasn’t been easy for you. Come on, let’s get our gear off.”

“I feel like I should be dressing up for dinner.” Rodney laughed as he stripped off his outerwear. “I feel decidedly underdressed in jeans and a sweatshirt.”

“No worries, the maître d’ isn’t going to refuse to serve us here.” John grinned affectionately at him as he removed his own coat.

“That’s good, because I’m sure that was Tony’s lasagna that I could smell when we came in and I’d hate to have to miss out.”

John chuckled. “Me too. I didn’t really get the chance to fully appreciate it the day we arrived. Come on.” He took Rodney’s hand and led him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. This time, Tony was waiting for them. Dressed elegantly in black trousers and a crisp white shirt he moved swiftly to pull the chair out for Rodney before gracefully moving around the table to seat John.

A bottle of champagne was quickly and expertly opened, and their glasses filled with the proficiency of a trained sommelier. Water was poured, the ice clinking musically in the crystal glasses.

John lifted his champagne glass, holding it out towards Rodney. “To us.”

Rodney beamed, lifting his own glass in return. “Us.” He echoed.

Small dishes were placed before them filled with little ricotta dumplings in a chili-tomato sauce with a dusting of parmesan, then, their waiter melted into the background and disappeared round the corner into the living area, a moment later soft jazz piano music began in the background, making Rodney smile as he picked up his fork.

“Mmm, these are amazing.” Rodney closed his eyes as he tried one of the dumplings. “Are you sure Gibbs wouldn’t notice if we spirited him away to Atlantis.”

“Seriously! You know if we tried that Gibbs would find him, even in Pegasus. You’d never get away with it.”

Rodney sighed. “I guess we’ll just have to come back to Earth more often. Visit Dave, Jeannie and Tony. We have a standing invitation, by the way.”

“That’s good to know.” John cleared his plate. “They really were good.”

He stared down at his plate for a few moments, before looking up at Rodney. “I really am sorry I forgot about us. You really mean everything to me Rodney, thank you for coming and for not giving up on me.”

Rodney sighed and shook his head. “Once I found out what had happened to you, I couldn’t not be here for you. It was just lucky that NCIS thought of putting your mugshot on Twitter, and that your Marines went to Lorne the minute they saw it. I called Gibbs straight away and, thanks to the Hammond, was in DC within a few hours. I had to be with you John, nothing could have kept me away.”

The piano went quiet and soft footsteps returned to the kitchen. Their plates were cleared and a few moments later, two generous helpings of lasagna, along with side salads, were placed on the table and their glasses were topped up.

Tony returned to his secondary role as pianist and the two men tucked into their lasagna. Rodney smiled in pleasure at the tune softly filtering through the cabin.

“You know this piece of music?” John asked him.

“Claude Debussy’s ‘Clair de Lune’. One of the most widely appreciated piano pieces of all time. Debussy took fifteen years to write the third movement. It’s a beautiful piece.”

John nodded. “You know, I’d originally planned dinner for you on Valentine’s Day, but that problem down at the South Pier had you and Radek tied up all night. I’m glad now, though, as it could never have been this perfect.”

“I just can’t believe you managed to arrange this so quickly. I mean, until yesterday you didn’t even seem like you wanted there to be an us!”

John laughed, a little shamefaced. “There wasn’t actually much I had to do. I told Gibbs that I wanted to have a romantic dinner for just the two of us, he spoke to Tony, Tony emailed Tim a shopping list and Gibbs brought everything over. Tony’s the one who really did all the work and to be honest, this is far more than I expected. All I had to do was get you out of the house for the afternoon.” He grinned.

Rodney place his cutlery down on his empty plate. “We’ll have to find a way of thanking them. They’ve done so much for us this week.”

John nodded, then cocked his head at the new music. “I like this one.”

“He’s really pulling out the romantic music now.” Rodney replied with a smile. “This is Franz Liszt ‘Liebestraume’, it’s German for ‘dreams of love’. You know I never thought I’d find love, growing up no-one was ever interested in me, girls or boys, I was always the odd one, the one they laughed at behind my back, or even right in my face. I never met anyone who really got me, until I met you. Even then, I didn’t think you would ever look at me in this way.”

“I can’t believe I almost missed the chance of being with you. One toss of a coin, a 50/50 chance and I may never have met you.” John reached out and covered Rodney’s hand. “I couldn’t have done what I did over the past eight years without you, Rodney. You’ve been my rock, my anchor. You’ve saved my life so many times. I wouldn’t be here without you.” 

John stood and walked around to Rodney’s side of the table, dropping to one knee and pulling something out of his pocket. “Meredith Rodney McKay, would you do me the honor of marrying me?” He pulled the ring out of the box and held it in the palm of his hand, staring up at Rodney.

Rodney stared down at him in amazement, completely overwhelmed with the emotions coursing through him. He couldn’t speak and he knew his mouth was hanging open. It wasn’t until concern filtered into the hazel eyes staring back at him that he shook himself back to reality.

“Yes, John, yes. Of course, I’ll marry you.” He stood and pulled John to his feet. They stood and stared at one another for a long moment, before learning forward and sharing a kiss. It started slow and gentle but after a week of separation the kiss became heated and it was only lack of oxygen which eventually forced them apart.

To the strains of Chopin’s ‘Nocturne in E flat major’ John caught Rodney’s hand and gently slid the ring on his finger. It was a perfect fit.

“How?” Rodney questioned staring from the ring to John. 

“I made up my mind the last time you were in the infirmary, just before Christmas. I measured your finger while you were out of it and ordered the ring. I was going to ask you on Valentine’s Day but, well you know how that worked out. I asked Gibbs to contact O’Neill and get Lorne to dig out the ring and get it sent over, luckily the Hammond is still in orbit.” He reached out and pulled Rodney into his arms again and they shared another, long kiss.

Long minutes later they separated and sat down again. Rodney kept staring at his ring, not sure whether he was dreaming. 

Still completely professional, despite the drama in the kitchen, Tony slipped back and cleared the table, placing desert in front of them before retreating again to the piano.

Rodney closed his eyes dreamily as he ate his dessert, a soft, silky chocolate and amaretto dessert with crushed amaretti biscuits on top. “This is the perfect way to end the most memorable meal I’ve ever eaten.”

“How about trying out the hot tub.” John’s tone was seductive, and Rodney grinned in response, thoughts of the cold banished, they would keep each other warm.

John pulled him to the bedroom, and they undressed quickly, pulling on the toweling robes conveniently left hanging on the back of the door. They slipped out the side door, removing the robes and sinking into the warm water. Rodney had to admit it felt heavenly. 

They spent a couple of hours in the hot tub, reacquainting themselves with each other, kissing and making out hungrily, desperate to renew their connection. When they finally came together and made love it was urgent and almost desperate and neither of them lasted long. 

Eventually, John led Rodney back into the cabin, but instead of heading left to the room they had been sharing for the past few days, he drew him up the stairs. 

Rodney stopped in the doorway and just stared. The master bedroom was softly lit with the red tealights on every safe surface. The freshly made bed had been turned down ready for them and soft, classical, piano music was playing from the iPod dock on the far nightstand.

On the low coffee table in front of the love seat there was vase with a dozen red roses, chocolates and an ice bucket with champagne and bottles of water. They sat on the love seat and toasted their engagement with the champagne and fed each other the indulgent melt-in-the-mouth home-made truffles.

Finally, they discarded their robes and just stared at each other for long moments. Rodney reached out and traced the scar on John’s side, the freshly knit skin still a little pinker than that around it. Soon it would fade and be just another mark on the landscape of his lovers’ body. He pulled John close and kissed him hungrily, wanting to get as close as he could.

John pulled them both down onto the bed, rolling over until he was on top of him. It felt so familiar to Rodney but, at the same time, somehow new. 

John moved over him, holding him down, kissing and stroking every inch of his skin. Rodney didn’t think his body had ever been worshipped so thoroughly and completely, even the tips of his toes received the same intense devotion. Eventually, John moved back up to his mouth, kissing him softly and intimately and Rodney reveled in the sensations buzzing through his body. 

It was everything Rodney could ever have wanted and more. After almost two weeks separated from his lover by distance and memory it was intoxicating being the sole focus of John’s attention. They made love slowly this time, touching one another with a tenderness that slowly heated up into a fiery passion and they clung to each other as they simultaneously reached a shuddering release. 

Completely sated, they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I apologise for the delay in posting the Epilogue, I almost wished I've never mentioned it!
> 
> I hadn't originally intended to write an epilogue at all, but when I finished the story itself I decided that I wanted them to have their wedding. At the time of posting the story the chapter was written, but not beta'd, proof read or tidied up. I'd done quite a bit of research about military wedding customs, as well as about Atlantis to decide on the location of the event so, it was a complete horror when, a few days after posting the story (due to my mother being ill and having to be taken to hospital) when I returned to the story, only to find it gone. Disappeared. Not anywhere to be found on my MacBook (I even searched through every document in Trash).  
> By that time, the pandemic had taken over the world and my motivation for rewriting the chapter was gone. However, taking part in the Unconventional Courtship Challenge reawakened my interest and I decided that I had to get the story finished so, if anyone out there is still interested, here is the long-awaited Epilogue.

Rodney stared at his reflection in the mirror. He had to admit that despite all his protestations at the fussing, he did look pretty good.

After their break at the cabin, John and Rodney had returned to DC for a formal debriefing with Jack O’Neill, followed by a very informal dinner with both Jack and Daniel at their apartment. The following day, John had been required to attend a full physical and psychological assessment to ensure that he was fully fit to return to duty and command.

Tony had used the opportunity to take Rodney shopping for his wedding outfit. Rodney had protested, insisting that he had a formal suit which would be adequate for the ceremony, but Tony hadn’t taken no for an answer and had dragged Rodney enthusiastically to his favourite tailor.

Tony and his tailor, Georgio, had insisted that Rodney try on six different suits, and had finally chosen a charcoal grey Armani, along with a crisp white shirt and blue Zegna tie and matching handkerchief, the exact shade of Rodney’s eyes. A pair of Gucci shoes completed the outfit. Tony had even insisted on picking out new socks and silk underwear, much to Rodney’s embarrassment.

Rodney had almost passed out at the final total, but Tony hadn’t turned a hair, passing over his credit card as he flirted unconsciously with Georgio.

Now Rodney stood staring at his reflection. He could see Tony in the mirror picking bits of lint off the jacket. The man was grinning proudly, and Rodney had to concede that Tony certainly knew how to dress to impress.

“So, what do you think?” Tony asked him.

“You were right,” Rodney sighed, “I would never have chosen to spend that much money on a made to measure suit, but it really does fit well.”

Tony grinned. “Just wait until John sees you. I mean, he’s smitten already but I doubt he’s ever seen you looking this good. In fact, I’m pretty sure it will make a few people take a second look.” Tony batted his eyelashes suggestively at Rodney.

Rodney rolled his eyes. He was well used to Tony’s flirting by now and knew the other man didn’t mean anything by it.

There was a soft knock at the door. It opened at Rodney’s command; he knew who it would be.

“Ah Rodney, you are looking good!” Radek commented in approval as he walked in. “Are you ready?”

Radek was dressed in a pale grey suit, his tie and handkerchief matched Rodney’s. He wore a boutonniere of a single white rose with a spray of gypsophila on his lapel and carried one for Rodney. Rodney had argued against flowers initially, citing his allergies, but Tony had insisted florists would be able to source unscented flowers for the occasion, so Rodney had relented. Tony took it with a smile and fitted it expertly in the buttonhole on Rodney’s jacket. He left both hands resting on Rodney’s shoulders. 

“Right, you’re ready Rodney. Deep breath and go out and enjoy your day.” Tony gave him a grin and patted his shoulders before turning to leave. He grinned at Radek. “He’s all yours.”

Rodney turned to Radek and took a deep breath. “So, we’re really doing this!” He grinned, still amazed at the roller coaster of the past week.

They’d spent three days in DC before returning to Atlantis. Thanks to Jack O’Neill, Gibbs and Tony had been allowed to return with them so they could attend the wedding. Rodney had not been allowed to know any of the arrangements, all he had been told was the day and time.

It had been two days since their return to Atlantis, along with Jack, Daniel, Tony and Gibbs. He hadn’t seen much of John, so it had been up to Daniel and Rodney to entertain their guests. Tony had been like an excitable child touring the City, much to Gibbs’ amusement, but even Gibbs had been impressed with the City.

Now it was just Rodney and Radek making their way through the unusually silent corridors and transporters to the East Pier. 

Leaving the transporter, they stepped out onto the Pier and Rodney stopped in amazement. Seats had been placed in rows, with bunches of blue and white balloons at the end of each row. A white arch, with more balloons and stands of white flowers, stood at the front on a low dais where Jack stood, resplendent in his full dress uniform, complete with sabre sword. John and Evan Lorne, as his best man, stood before him, also in full dress uniform, as were every other member of the military contingent on Atlantis, a mix of Air Force, Army, Marine and Navy uniforms dotted the crowd, interspersed with smart suits and colourful dresses of the civilians.

All heads turned as Rodney and Radek stepped towards the aisle, but Rodney didn’t see the crowd, his eyes were fixed on John and he was barely aware of Radek, gently directing him forwards and following behind as the soft music swelled at Rodney’s approach.

As Rodney reached the front, John held out his hand with a smile, Rodney automatically took it, beaming at John in return. Radek stepped up beside Rodney and Evan took a step closer to John. John leaned toward Rodney murmuring in his ear that he looked amazing and Rodney felt his face heat up.

Jack cleared his throat, and everyone turned towards him as he began the ceremony, causing a chuckle when he asked if anyone was foolish enough to come up with a reason for their Military Commander and Head of Science not to be married.

The ceremony passed in almost a dream to Rodney, he was fully focused on John, couldn’t take his eyes off him, both of them smiled happily as vows were repeated and rings were exchanged.

Finally, Jack pronounced them husband and husband. “Colonel Sheppard, you may kiss your husband.”

John pulled Rodney into his arms and kissed him passionately for several minutes, totally ignoring the whistles and cheers from the audience. Rodney could hear Jack, Radek and Evan laughing but didn’t care. John was officially his and they were legally married, it was all Rodney wanted.

Finally lack of air forced them apart and they leaned together, foreheads touching while they caught their breath, before turning to greet their guests, for the first time, as a married couple.

John held out his hand and they walked back down the aisle together towards the Arch of Sabres at the far end. As they walked under the arch the last two men dropped their sabres to block their journey and Rodney suddenly felt a swat to his butt as Evan formally welcomed him to the United States Air Force.

Rodney sputtered in indignation for a moment but then rolled his eyes and laughed along with everyone else as Evan winked at him and the sabres were lifted so they could step forward and lead their guests to the nearby tower for the reception.

On the ground floor of one of the towers, a few floors down from the mess hall, was a large, airy, room, often used for gatherings too large to take place in the mess hall itself or the gym. This was where the reception had been arranged. Round tables, each with white flowers and blue and white balloons, had been set up around three sides of the room, with one long table in the middle of the fourth side.

Tables piled with food were arranged in one corner of the room, with a bar in the opposite corner. Space in the middle had been left for dancing.

John led Rodney to the long table, where they were seated, along with Jack, Daniel, Tony, Gibbs, Radek and Evan. Everyone else seemed to know exactly where they should be sitting, making Rodney guess there must have been a seating plan in place.

Jack gave a quick speech, congratulating the newlyweds and inviting the head table to the buffet. Once they were seated with their food, each table went up in turn, whilst mess staff served drinks.

There was a buzz of talk and laughter as the food was eaten and, once everyone had their fill, champagne glasses were handed out and speeches were made. Firstly Jack, telling the story of the helicopter journey when he first met John and how it had been up to him to persuade John to join the expedition.

Daniel then gave a speech going further into how John had operated the chair and how excited Rodney had been when he’d seen how the Chair had reacted to John.

Radek and Evan had then given more personal speeches about their respective bosses and the way they had seen the men becoming closer, both of them making the crowd laugh at various things the pair had done over the years.

Finally, a cake was brought out and Rodney stared at John in surprise when John handed him his sabre, before explaining to Rodney that it was customary to use it to cut the cake. Video and photos had been taken throughout the ceremony and reception and now the two official photographers came forward again to record the cutting of the cake and the two men feeding each other slices. Rodney sighed happily as he watched the remainder of the cake being cut and shared around and didn’t even think of complaining as John tugged at his arm so they could mingle with their guests.

*****

Two hours later and John and Rodney had shared their first dance and then danced with those people who wanted to have a dance with them. John nudged at Rodney. “Are you ready for us to make our getaway?”

“Whenever you are,” Rodney agreed, “I want to be alone with you. Can we sneak out?”

“We’d better say goodbye to at least Jack, Daniel, Tony and Gibbs, as they’re flying back to DC in the morning.”

Farewells were taken of their friends, with hugs and promises to meet up the next time they were in DC. Promises that Rodney was pretty sure would be kept. Jack and Gibbs had clearly hit it off and Tony and Daniel got on like a house on fire. Rodney was pretty sure they would all be getting together again.

They slipped out of the room to the nearest transporter. “Where are we going?”

“Wait and see,” John laughed, “we’ll be there in a minute.”

They exited in another part of the City. Rodney wasn’t sure exactly where they were. John pulled him along a corridor and made him stop in front of a door. “Close your eyes.”

Rodney closed his eyes obediently and felt soft material covering them. He heard a door open and John gently led him into the room with a soft command. “Wait here a moment.” 

He heard John moving around and a minute later felt him come back and remove the blindfold. 

Rodney opened his eyes, gazing around in surprise. From the view, he guessed they were in one of the towers on the South West Pier. There were windows around half of the room, with a large bed, piled with pillows and a soft blue comforter facing the full-length windows, which Rodney could now see opened up onto a balcony. A small kitchenette was on one side of the door with the door to what he assumed was a bathroom on the other.

“Wow, when did you get the chance to arrange all this?” He exclaimed.

“I didn’t, I just asked Lorne to arrange something,” John chuckled, “Lorne’s a romantic. Come and look at the bathroom.”

Rodney looked at him in surprise but followed out of curiosity. As well as the expected fixtures a hot tub sat before full length windows, which also opened up to the balcony.

Rodney walked about the suite, taking in more of the details. More blue and white balloons adorned both rooms, ice buckets sat beside both the bed and the hot tub, with a bottle of champagne by the hot tub. Strawberries dipped in chocolate, along with a box of Rodney’s favourite Canadian-made chocolates sat on the side in the kitchenette. Looking into the small fridge, Rodney found it stocked up with enough food for several days.

“So, Atlantis now has a honeymoon suite,” he giggled, “and we’re the first to christen it.”

‘Yeah,” John laughed in return, “it’s the perfect location too, just look at that sunset.”

“And with this aspect we won’t get woken up too early by the sunrise in the morning.” Rodney replied with a smug grin.

“So, shall we christen the hot tub?” John waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“And then move on to christening every other surface.” Rodney replied with a laugh.

So they did.

End


End file.
